Finally, he met her eyes. “It’s not your fault. It’s mine. I should have known.”
“How could you have? Who could imagine this? Carlo, is there anything to be gained like this? Finding blame? Is it help?” He dropped his eyes, and she lifted his chin, as he had done to her many times, and made him look at her. “There is blame, but we need not go looking. There is blame one place only. Yes? On her only. Now, the police are searching. And I think your uncles are searching, too, yes? You will have Trey back.”
Ice seemed to cover his eyes, and something about his face altered subtly. His expression went from despairing to intent. “I’m going to kill her. If I have the chance, I’m going to kill her.”
Sabina was hardly shocked by the statement, and she believed it to be true. She hoped it would not come to that. She hoped that someone else, not Carlo, would take care of Jenny. She wanted her dead, too. Remembering the look in her eyes, remembering Trey’s fear, remembering the sight and smell of the gun that had shot and possibly killed Joey pushed up against Trey’s little head, mussing his blond hair, Sabina had no qualms at the thought that the woman who’d done all that would very likely die, no matter how she was treating Trey now. But she didn’t want it to be Carlo who did it. She thought he wouldn’t be able to carry such weight well. She tried to redirect him.
“Carlo. Do you know about Joey?”
“He’s gone, too?”
“No. But he’s not good. They are unsure if he will stay. The doctors say that family should go back soon to see him. Do you want to go back?”
“To say goodbye.”
“I think yes.”
“I did that, too. Put my dumbass baby brother in that position. I knew better.”
“Carlo, enough. Enough. You are like Atlas, carrying the world on your shoulders. You aren’t responsible for everyone. Joey is no child.”
“Isn’t he?”
“No. He understands, I think, more of the world than his family credits him.” She sighed, feeling impatient. “But that is for another time. I think you’ll regret if you don’t go back.”
“Are you staying, even after I—”
She cut him off, no more willing to hear his guilt than his brother and sister had been willing to hear hers. “Of course. I say I understand. I love Trey. I love Joey. I love your whole family. Your world is becoming my world. And I love you beyond reason. So I stay. Maybe if you try to make me go, even then I stay.”
“I don’t want you to go.” Finally, he sat up, and he took her hands in his. “I love you, Bina. Will you come back with me?”
“If that’s what you want, yes.” It made her feel anxious, the thought of going back to see Joey in the state he must be in. But she would stay at Carlo’s side as long as he wanted her there. She stood, still holding his hands, and he stood with her. Then he laced the fingers of one hand with hers, and they headed toward the doors through which they would find his youngest brother.
Luca and John had come back into the waiting room and were sitting with their father and sister. As Carlo and Sabina stood, Luca gave her a little, approving smile. On his sad face, the effect was especially poignant.
Uncle Ben stepped into their path before they had gone more than a few steps. “Junior.”
Carlo’s fingers tightened around Sabina’s. “Uncle.”
“When you come back, we need to speak.”
“Yes, sir. We do.”
Uncle Ben put his hand on Carlo’s shoulder and gave it a reassuring shake. “Our reach is far, nephew. Farther than she can go.”
Carlo nodded but said nothing. Then Uncle Ben stepped to the side, and Carlo and Bina continued on toward the doors.
A nurse was waiting just inside the doors; she led them past a large room full of gurneys to a small private room, where Joey lay, buried under a thick padding of blankets, with tubes and wires connecting him to several machines. The room was dense with the myriad sounds of the machines—pumps and grinds and beeps. The beep of the heart monitor seemed too fast. Sabina was surprised—she’d expected his heart to be beating too slowly, if he was so close to death.
“God.” Carlo stopped just in the doorway, blocking the nurse from closing the door. She stepped out and left it open.
Sabina held his hand in both of hers and squeezed. “He is strong, yes?”
Carlo nodded. Then he pulled his hand from hers and stepped to the gurney. Sabina stayed where she was, knowing instinctively that, though Carlo wanted her here with him, he would not want her to join him at Joey’s side now.