Footsteps(107)

“I can go.” The man who’d brought Carlo had stepped forward. “I’ve got Carlo’s car, but I don’t mind going. If you think it will help.”





Luca thought for a minute. He looked at John, who nodded. “Yeah. If we get ahold of her in the meantime, I don’t want her driving, anyway. So, yeah. Thanks, Pete. It’s a big help.”





“Not a problem. What dorm?”





“Emery.”





The man—Pete, that was Carlo’s business partner—nodded and waved a set of keys at Carlo, who nodded. Then he left.





Luca wrapped a hand around Sabina’s arm. “Go talk to him. It’s a lot to ask after what he just did, but he’s calmer now, and I think you should talk to him. Can you?”





“Luca, he…I…I let Trey go. I understand his anger.”





“You did everything right, Sabina. If anybody fucked up, it was Joe. He was there to protect you. He should have been prepared to do that.”





“He did protect us—he got between us, and see what happened.”





Luca made a gesture like he was brushing that topic away. “I’m telling you. Carlo needs you. He needs his kid. He’s fucked up right now. What he did to you was fucked up, but it doesn’t mean he really blames you. People think he’s the good one, the reasonable one, and he is—but he has a trigger about protecting his family. He goes a little Hulk smash. But he knows it’s not your fault. Don’t let guilt fuck everything up worse than it is.”





Carlo Sr. and Carmen came into the waiting room. Luca let her arm go. “I’m gonna go see my baby brother, maybe say goodbye. Please. Get him into that room if you can. If Joey goes and Carlo doesn’t see him…fuck. Try for me, gorgeous.”





Sabina nodded. “I will try.” Luca kissed her cheek and followed John through the doors.





Carmen had taken her father to the side and was sitting with him. They were talking quietly; then Carmen looked across the room at Carlo, and then at Sabina. She said nothing, and she didn’t move, but Sabina could sense what was on her mind. She could almost hear Carmen’s voice in her head: Are you going to him or not?





Was she? Were they right? Could she help Carlo at all, or would she only hurt him more?





He was sitting alone on one side of the waiting room, leaning forward, his elbows on his knees, staring down at the floor between his legs. He seemed the picture of desolation. He was too alone—in this time full of family, coming together as Carmen had said, his aloneness seemed all the more bleak. And that made up Sabina’s mind for her. He was too alone. She stood and crossed over to him.





When she sat down next to him, he didn’t move or acknowledge her in any way.





“Carlo?”





Nothing. With her heart in a knot, she reached out and laid her hand on his forearm. “Carlo. I am so sorry. I know it’s not much to say, but I wish I had done differently something.”





Then he spoke. His voice was low, barely audible, but her focus on him was complete, and she heard him clearly. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”





She was a little relieved by that. Perhaps his blame of her was over? “I’m fine, truly. I understand.”





“You shouldn’t be so fucking understanding. You shouldn’t just forgive something like that. Stand up for yourself.” He still hadn’t looked up.





His words cut, and Sabina almost pulled away. Then she caught Carmen’s eye. She looked exhausted and sad, but still she was focused on Carlo and Sabina, even as she held her father’s hand, as if she were willing Sabina her own strength.





“I am standing up for myself. I’m standing up for you.” A thought came over her, a certainty, perhaps riding on the back of Carmen’s lent strength. “I did what I did because it was the only thing that could save him. Now we have to find him. I understand your anger, Carlo. But I am not to blame. I would have died for him, but I would not see him killed in my arms. We have to find him now, Carlo.”





At that, Carlo turned his head. His expression was abject. “He’s gone. He’s gone. Bina, he’s gone.”





She heard his need; Carmen and Luca had been right. She heard his need, and in it she found the full reservoir of her strength. His fear and loss were naked before her, and she came off her seat and went to her knees before him. She pushed her way between his legs and lifted his head in her hands. “No, Carlo. No. He’s away. We’ll get him back. Uncle Ben will get him back.”