I pulled my wayward thoughts back on track and before I knew it, the table was littered with torn sugar packets. Aedyn and I had been talking and reminiscing for so long, and I was so absorbed in our conversation, I hadn’t realized the time had gotten away from me.
I’d completely forgotten about my worries over Chip or anyone seeing me with another man. Was I opening a door I wasn’t ready to walk through? All I knew was that talking with Aedyn, the simple act of having coffee with an old friend, made me feel a million times better than Chip had made me feel in a long time. Aedyn listened to me, he really listened and affirmed me. He reminded me of the goals and ambitions I used to have, which I’d forgotten. In school, I was actually good in subjects like science and math. I used to be in clubs and aspired to something greater than what life had dropped in my path.
Then, as easily as it came, the sweet memory-filled bubble I’d been sitting in for this last while, burst. All my fears and the anxieties about reality came rushing in, surrounding me. I felt suffocated. “What time is it?” In a panic, I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was late and Chip would wonder where I was. “I have to go now, Aedyn.” I yanked on the strap of my purse and started scooting out of the long booth seat.
“Oh, of course. I shouldn’t have taken up your time. I’m sure you must have somewhere to be.”
Aedyn rose to say good-bye. He reached out and when his hand touched me, I felt the warmth of it around my wrist. It was electric. A bolt of energy shot up my arm and ran all the way to my toes, hi-jacking my heart along the way.
“Wait…” He almost sounded desperate. He snatched his hand back, closed his eyes and then opened them. I thought he was going to say something else and held my breath. I wanted him to say we should get together again, or at least exchange phone numbers. Some word of hope that we’d see each other again. All I knew was that something happened inside of me. Feeling his touch, looking in his beautiful blue eyes, I felt a connection had been made, a clear reflection of the hope that was pushing against my doubts.
“Um… it’s been good seeing you again, Lauren. Really great.” His eyes softened and a smile curled at the corners of his lips. My better judgment told me it was probably for the best that this was goodbye.
I looked up and caught his piercing blue eyes, not sure if I should believe what I saw in them, or if it was all based on my own flights of fancy.
“It was good to see you too, Aedyn… don’t be a stranger.” I tried to pull myself together, slung my purse over my shoulder and rushed out the diner door.
Chapter 12
Aedyn
I checked my cell phone for any messages for the millionth time. It was late. Dark outside. My limo driver wasn’t due to pick me up and take me to the airport just yet. I’d hired a private jet, but it was over in the capital city at least half an hour away.
I slid back into the booth after saying good-bye to Lauren, disgusted with myself. What the hell was I thinking? I shouldn’t have done that. I wanted to cut my hand off with a knife for reaching out to touch her when she said she had to go. I turned my head and stared out the window and into the dark summer night, drumming frustrated fingers on the table.
I should be sitting in my BMW, getting another blowjob from Raquel in Chicago right now, not here in this po-dunk town. I’d tried to make it through another visit without any disasters and now this. I was weak. I reached out and grabbed her by the wrist. I almost begged her to stay. No one should act that stupid in front of the one who ripped his heart to shreds. All these years, I regretted letting her get away, not pursuing what I really wanted. I had just rolled over and ran away, not man enough to fight for her.
And now, I’d allowed myself to lose control. Emotions resurfaced, the hurt and the love. It was all mixed up, flip flopping inside me, like someone was playing an evil trick, flipping a switch to one side and then the other, from feelings of hurt to feelings of hope. Back and forth, back and forth. My emotions wouldn’t settle because… damn, the moment I touched her hand, my resolve was uprooted. One touch and a flash of fire shot through me. Just like that and by the way… how the fuck had that happened? I thought I’d put her out of my mind. It’d been years, then one chance meeting and I regressed back to acting like a star struck teenager. Fuck me. I’d better get a grip on myself. It wasn’t beneficial for me to let down the walls. I’d done that once before and it brought nothing but heartache. Lauren was trouble back then and she’s probably still a tease now. People didn’t change. Maybe superficially, like getting rid of their glasses, but not their character. Why would I think it’d be any different now?