Flirting With Destiny(23)

“I’m leaving.” I spat.

With my hand on the doorknob, I took one last look back at him standing there by the sofa. His expression had changed. His entire demeanor was transformed. His anger had melted into resignation, and in a pathetic attempt to beg for forgiveness, he said, “Lauren, wait. I love you. I’m sorry.”

He ran his hands through his hair and took a step forward, but I wasn’t about to wait for the pendulum to swing in the other direction. I slammed the door and tore off down the sidewalk, tears blurring my eyes. I cursed myself for not driving over earlier and, instead, allowing Chip to pick me up. Fine, I could walk. It wasn’t that far.

My mind was exploding with explanations and it was a wonder I didn’t trip over the cracks in the sidewalk. Again, for what seemed like the millionth time, Chip’s anger led us into a heated argument. It wasn’t my imagination, it wasn’t his testosterone, and it wasn’t too much stress from his job. For him to get this crazy all the time, there had to be something else triggering his behavior. It had gotten to the point where even little things set him off. Hell, the string could have broken off his tea bag this morning and he’d go into a rage.

But this time, I wasn’t sticking around. I would stop the damn argument before it escalated into something physical. He hadn’t hurt me… yet, but we seem to be headed in that direction, although a small part of my brain rationalized that if he wanted to hurt me, he would have done so by now. He didn’t work out at the gym, but he was strong and he could easily do damage if he’d wanted. Plus, every time his temper got out of control, he’d say he was sorry afterwards and promise it wouldn’t happen again.

In any case, it was a good thing I’d left. If he’d looked at my text messages to Jules, he would have found the ones I sent her about Aedyn. We’d texted that day about the hot guy stepping out of the limo, my curiosity about his identity. Then we’d texted after I’d ran into him in the sandwich shop. Although they were innocent, Chip would have read them as dirty and wrong. I had no way of knowing how he’d react.

I shuddered, realizing he probably really would have hit me then, and I wondered what I would have done if he had. I could call the police, but that would do no good. Chip was in with the local Sheriff’s department. He sat on the City Council and everyone knew that council scandal was quickly swept under the rug.

Damn, I knew there were other reasons why I wouldn’t call for help. This was a small town after all. Gossip like this would spread faster than wildfire and it would be bad for his business, his father’s business and since I worked there too, it would be bad for me. I didn’t want to ruin Mr. Harrison’s business. Or lose my job and then what? Go back and live at home? No way. In my mind, to sponge off my parents would be a worse failure than staying with Chip.

I stumbled farther down the sidewalk, not knowing where I was going, just needing time for my heart to stop racing, my stomach to stop flipping, my thoughts to stop swirling and the tears to stop falling. I just kept walking, walking and walking, not knowing what the hell I was going to do now. I felt stuck, trapped between my dream and reality.

I swallowed hard and wiped the tears with the back of my hand. I’d walked all the way into town and had finally stopped shaking. I stopped and looked around to get my bearings, which didn’t take long in this small town. I stood on the sidewalk in front of the drugstore. I dug into the massive interior of my purse, searching for the tissue I always kept in the bottom. I pulled it out, and wiped away the remainder of my tears. My chest expanded with a deep breath and I hung my head in shame.

This was entirely my fault… again. I really was hiding something and Chip had sensed it. I sucked at lying and shouldn’t have been dishonest in the first place. Keeping secrets is not my forte. Even today, when Chip asked where I was going for lunch, I was evasive. I didn’t want him to know I was meeting his brother.

I wanted to scream. I should be able to have lunch with anyone I wanted to, without having to look over my shoulder. Plus, Brandon was my doctor, not just Chip’s older brother. We were friends from way back, even before Chip and I got together.

I’d asked Brandon to meet me, hoping he could shed some light on what was behind Chip’s angry outbursts, but that afforded me no help. It was quite obvious his loyalties lay with his brother, first and foremost.

I balled up the tissue and threw it in a trashcan next to a lamppost. Already the main street in town was decorated with banners for the Fourth of July even though it was still weeks away. There would be a parade that day and fireworks and everything that made life pleasant and enjoyable. Families would bring their kids in the humid heat to sit on the curb and watch the parade go by, with melting popsicles in their hands. I’d dreamed of bringing my own family here one day, wearing matching red, white and blue. If I still wanted that to be my future, I would have to figure out a way to smooth things over with Chip.