“You mean like in the last week or so?” She paused and there was a slight silence like she was thinking. “No, I can’t say I’ve heard of anyone passing. Give me a sec to tell Wanda I’m going out and I’ll be right there.”
“I’m at our usual place. Meet me in ten?”
“Sure, hon.”
I entered the shop and picked a seat near the wall. I didn’t want our private conversation broadcast to the entire lunch crowd. The ping of my cell phone broke my concentration and I glanced to where it laid on the tabletop. It was an alert from a dictionary app on my phone that gave me a “Word of the day”. In a fit of irony, the word displayed on my screen was “incongruous”. It meant, “Not in harmony or keeping with surroundings or aspects of others”. Hmph. That should have been my horoscope for the day. I had an app for that too, but “incongruous” was exactly what I’d been feeling about my relationship with Chip… and my life in whole.
As I waited, I realized Jules had everything. A nice house and family, a good husband who made enough money for them to hire Wanda, the full-time live-in nanny and housekeeper. She was lucky. When was my horoscope app going to tell me it was my day to be lucky in relationships? Curious, I tapped on the app and read the advice in the relationship category. It wasn’t good. I scrolled to the one-week relationship forecast and read that. Not good again. I scrolled to the forecast for the month. Damn, still not good. I pushed the phone away. Stupid horoscope. Those things weren’t accurate anyway. Frustrated, I grabbed my phone again, then deleted the app and tossed the electronic traitor in my purse.
Jules blew in the door in her usual hyperactive flurry. I met her at the order counter and we put in our choice of sandwiches, then returned to the table I’d chosen for privacy. We chewed on the daily sample of the freshly baked bread we’d been handed until a girl in an apron called our order number.
“I’ll go get it,” I said, too antsy to sit still. I returned and set the wire baskets on the thick, rustic wooden table.
“You look stressed,” Julie said.
“Damn, my poker face must be broken today,” came my sarcastic reply.
She laughed and I sat down, pushing Jules’ basket toward her. Looking down at my sandwich, I sighed. I suddenly had no appetite for the fantastic looking food staring up at me.
I looked at Jules. Her face was always bright and happy, so I asked, “Do you count your blessings every day?”
She picked up her sandwich and gave me a quizzical look before sinking her teeth into several layers of meat, veggies and cheese.
“What do you mean?” She mumbled through a mouth full of food.
“You’re losing an avocado there.” I pointed as a green slice squished out the backside of her sandwich. She poked it back in and continued, “This is about Chip, isn’t it?”
“Yea, yea, you said that on the phone already. You read me like a book.” I offered a meek smile although I knew it didn’t reach her eyes. “I’ve been thinking about my life, Jules—it sucks. I mean, I have a job working for Chip, but it’s a secretarial job that requires no real thinking. In high school, I was so ambitious. I was student-body president and on the student council…”
“Yea, I know. I was there. Remember?”
“Sorry. What happened to me? When I met Chip, I thought, this is it. He’s exactly the kind of guy I want. We could get married, have kids, a nice house, the whole nine yards. How did it go so wrong?”
“Have you looked at yourself in a mirror lately? Nothing happened to you. You’re still Miss Perfect. Beautiful, smart, long blonde hair, cute figure… you’re every man’s dream.”
Jules set her sandwich back into the basket and gave me a serious look. “Here’s the problem. Chip’s the most attractive prospect in this small town and he knows it. Look around—Granger’s not that big. It’s mostly a farming community. In terms of eligible guys in town, you’ve got your meth chefs, your unemployed, your truck drivers and guys who work in the factory at John Deere.” She began ticking them off on her fingers. “Unless you’re willing to drive over to the city to look for a husband, that’s about it. You got the best one in town, hon.”
“I suppose you’re right.” She knew it. I knew it. Everyone in town knew it. There were other women with their eyes on my boyfriend, but I had laid claim to him a long time ago when he came back from college. Ever since, it had been my goal to marry him, for better or for worse. I just didn’t expect the worse to come before the march down the aisle. I also didn’t know why it was taking so long for our relationship to move to the next step. Every day that went by without a marriage proposal was one more chance it would never happen.