Fleur De Lies(77)

            “Thank you. Sounds like you’ve had a whirlwind day. Just one question.” My voice cracked as I choked out the word. “Nudes?”

            “You’re all still here!” Jackie bounded onto the deck. “Fabulous! Now I don’t have to run around looking for you.” Pausing by the rail, she clapped her hands to cheer on the people who were trooping up the stairs behind her. “Quick like bunnies,” she encouraged as Margi, Osmond, Lucille, Helen, and Bernice popped into view and joined her.

            There was only one thing wrong.

            “Oh, my God! Why are they wearing cervical collars?”

            I watched in horror as Osmond, Lucille, and Helen shuffled toward the canopy, backs stiff, chins elevated, heads immobilized. Springing to my feet, I grabbed several chairs from other tables and motioned the Dicks to help Lucille and Helen while I assisted Osmond. Seizing his elbow, I ushered him to the nearest chair and sat him down. “How did this happen? Did you reinjure your neck? Are you in pain?” A possible explanation struck me. “Please don’t tell me you were in the lounge doing the chicken dance again.”

            “It’s on account of what happened to him on the bus yesterday,” offered Nana.

            I looked Osmond in the eye. “What happened to you on the bus?”

            “I fell asleep.”

            I waited. “And?”

            “And I didn’t wake up until we got back to the boat because with Margi’s collar bracing my neck, my head wasn’t flopping all over the place. Best nap I’ve had in years.”

            “If Dick had been wearing one during the presentation on Chateau Gaillard today, he wouldn’t have almost broken his neck when he nodded off,” charged Grace.

            “They’re an excellent deterrent against whiplash,” agreed Tilly.

            “And Osmond’s experience proves they promote longer, more uninterrupted sleep,” added Alice.

            “So we’re startin’ a daily lottery to see who gets to wear ’em,” said Nana. “But Margi only brung three with her, so the odds of winnin’ aren’t real good.”

            I narrowed my gaze at today’s lucky three winners. “Well, that’s a relief. You’re wearing them for show rather than for any therapeutic purpose. When I saw you, I thought—” I hesitated. “I don’t really know what I thought, but I’m glad you’re all right.”

            “Do I look taller?” asked Helen as she lifted her chin off the foam rubber. “I feel so much taller with my head so high off the ground.”

            “I feel like a giraffe,” said Lucille.

            Osmond directed his gaze downward. “I can’t see my feet. Can you guys see your feet?”

            “Now that we have that taken care of—” Jackie scooted Margi and Bernice toward the center of the group. “The last of the makeovers are complete. What do you think?”

            EH! I darted a look from Bernice, to Margi, to Bernice again. I swallowed slowly. “What have you done?”

            “Margi’s complexion looks sooo translucent,” cooed Grace. “She looks like an airbrushed version of the real Margi.”

            “How come Bernice’s complexion don’t look so good as Margi’s?” asked Nana.

            Dick Teig grabbed his belly as he burst out with laughter. “Bernice looks like she was standing too close to a vacuum cleaner when the bag blew up!”

            “Is Bernice’s face supposed to be gray?” asked Alice.