She shuffled back to the bed and sat down. She exhaled a deep sigh. “I hate to break it to you, dear, but Margi’s turned into one of them folks what does the same thing over and over again.”
I gasped. “She’s been diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder?”
“Nope. She’s one of them addicts.”
“MARGI?”
“I never thought it could happen to one of my own friends. Stuff like this is only s’posed to happen to movie stars recoverin’ from back ailments.”
“Oh my God. Is it work related? She has such easy access to drugs at the clinic. What’s she addicted to? Oxycontin? Vicodin? Percocet?”
“The BBWS Network.”
I waited a beat. “What?”
“The Big Beautiful Woman’s Shoppin’ Network. It’s on account of that shoppin’ spree what the church raffled off. Ever since she won, she can’t do nuthin’ but buy, buy, buy. We’re thinkin’ she needs an intervention.”
Unh-oh. Sounded like she got zapped. I knew such things happened to people—that a person’s life could change in the blink of an eye. But I thought the transformation typically revolved around an experience that was more deeply religious than a church raffle. “You’re telling me that Margi had such an awesome time at Farm and Fleet when she selected her new wardrobe, that she somehow activated a latent buying gene that’s turned her into a flaming shop-aholic?”
Nana looked puzzled. “She didn’t buy no new wardrobe at Farm and Fleet.”
“Then how did she come by all her spiffy new clothes?”
“I just told you. The Big Beautiful Woman’s Shoppin’ Network.”
I eyed her narrowly. “If she didn’t buy clothes with her five-thousand-dollar gift certificate, what did she buy?”
“Flat-screen TVs. One for every room in her house. She didn’t have no high-definition megapixel set before, so now that she can see what all them shoppin’ items really look like, she’s buyin’ everythin’ in sight, from every room in the house, twenty-four hours a day.” She lowered her voice to a library whisper. “Even from the potty. She’s got her sleep cycle so topsy-turvy, she’s been real bound up.”
“So … if I’m understanding this correctly, none of you are happy she was the big winner at the casino yesterday because … you’re afraid she’ll blow it on things that make her look chic and elegant?”
“Them winnin’s are just gonna feed her addiction, Emily. We couldn’t hardly pry her away from them TVs of hers before. Now that she’s got cash to burn, she’s gonna go straight to the dogs. We’ll never get to see her no more.” She glanced down at her hands dejectedly. “We’ll probably have to start buyin’ our own hand sanitizer.”
“How much money did she win?”
“Ten thousand Euros.”
“WHAT?” I tried to do a quick currency conversion in my head but got hung up on all the zeroes. “How much is that in US dol—”
“Thirteen thousand forty-eight dollars. And eighty cents. She just kept movin’ around the room, hittin’ the jackpot on everythin’ she touched. The management finally asked her to leave on account of they was runnin’ out of money to refill the machines. I never seen nuthin’ like it. But I’m glad we left early ’cuz that give us a chance to see the beach.”
“Oh my God! How come she wasn’t shouting the news from the rafters last night?”