Fletch(31)
“A grilled cheese,” Fletch added. “Bottle of Coors beer.”
“How very ingratiating of you,” John Collins said.
He was used to young men complimenting him over his choice of lunch.
Fletch laughed. “I’m very happy in the furniture business, thank you.”
“Actually, Alan needs more young men around him. Friends. People he can trust. He’s stuck with all my old office cronies. I keep telling him he should retire them all off, but he’s too smart for that. He says he would rather have attrition than contrition.”
“Dad. He never said anything of the sort.”
“Well, he would have, if he had a sense of humor.”
“He has a lovely sense of humor,” Joan said.
“Tell me something he ever said that made you laugh,” John said. “Anything.”
“Well. He said something to Julie the other day. But I can’t remember it. Something about going to bed.”
“A riot,” John said. “My son-in-law is a riot. Did he have a sense of humor when you knew him in Texas?”
“A pretty serious fellow,” Fletch said.
“I worry about people who don’t have a sense of humor. Here’s your lunch. Take everything seriously. They’re apt to kill themselves.”
“If the cigarettes don’t get them first,” Fletch said.
“What?” John Collins leaned on him.
“The cigarettes. Alan was always dreadfully afraid of cancer.”
“He should be. No one should smoke.”
Joan said, “Alan’s never mentioned his fear of cancer to me.”
“He must be used to it,” Fletch said. “Or over it.”
“Everybody should be afraid of cancer. Does it run in his family? Of course, how do we know? Never met his family. Ought to look them up and see if they’re still alive.”
“Alan never speaks of them,” Joan said. “I doubt he even hears from them.”
“I don’t blame him. Any man who makes his son box is a jackass. A stupid sport. Alan would have been a great tennis player if he had started young and not been forced to waste all his time getting bopped on the nose. Rather, I should say, any man who forces his son to box wants to see him in a coffin.”
“You’re in top form today, Dad. One right after the other.”
“Why not? Pleasant company. His father just never realized what an intelligent lad Alan was and is. Wonder he didn’t get his brains knocked out of him.”
“Before you came, Dad, we were talking about the damn-fool ranch Alan is buying, in Nevada.”
“Yes. Good idea.”
“It’s a terrible idea.”
“This family doesn’t have anywhere near enough invested in real estate. And what there is is downtown space. Or the place in Aspen, whatnot. We should be much more heavily invested in land. No one’s ever wanted to manage it. I’m glad Alan does.”
Joan said, “I hate the whole idea.”
“You don’t have to go there.”
“The way Alan talks, a million acres in Nevada is going to be our spiritual home.”
“You’ll have to go there once in a while, of course, while Alan goes over things. Do you both good to get away. With Julie. You must be sick to death of your mother and me living on top of you.”
“She’s not well.”
John said, “I remember the first day I saw your mother taking martinis before lunch. Gin is a depressant, my girl.”
“My golly. You do live on top of us. I never noticed before.”
“Was Jim Swarthout helpful?” John asked.
“Who?”
“Jim Swarthout of Swarthout Nevada Realty. Biggest firm in Nevada. I sent Alan to him when he began talking about the ranch. I understood he’s been dealing with him.”
“Oh, yes. Very helpful. He’s the man who found the ranch for Alan. He’s mentioned him several times. He is the real estate broker. We’re going down next weekend, cash in hand.”
“Cheer up, old girl. Alan’s dead right about our investing in a ranch. He couldn’t be more right.” John Collins drained his ale. “Now the job is to see if we can get young John here a tennis match.”
“No, sir. Thank you anyway. I haven’t the time, at this point. My plane leaves midafternoon.”
“Oh.” The man seemed genuinely disappointed. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“This is a beautiful club, though. Joan mentioned the extent of your contribution to it.”
“Well, she shouldn’t have. But I consider it very important. Young people have to have a place to go, and healthy things to do. You know, I understand young people can’t even go to the beach here anymore.”