Flesh 02 Skin(82)

Sean’s nostrils flared. “I try not to.”

“All those people.” Nick shook his head, hating the memory. Those first days of the plague were the stuff of nightmares. He could still remember the stink of fear filling the air, and the terror on people’s faces. Every five minutes a new command would be handed down with the latest contradicting the last. No one knew what was really going on, because no one knew how to stop it. They’d been screwed from the start. “They were terrified, didn’t know what to do. Who could blame them, faced with a field full of tents and people in masks, men shoving machine guns in their faces. I would have panicked too. Man, I would have gone ballistic.”

“Yeah.”

“Was it worth it? Us killing innocent civilians?” he asked. “They were just people on holidays. Wankers in business suits. They weren’t terrorists or anything and we had to shoot them in the back if they made a run for it. What the fuck does that make us? Not the good guys, that’s for certain.”

The captain didn’t answer straight away. He stared at his book with a heavy brow. “If we’d been able to stop the bug at that point, we’d have saved millions of lives.”

“Hmm.” It sounded nice, but the chances of it ever happening were nil. As many seaports and international airports as there were in the country and the amount of travel people did, keeping out a microscopic germ wasn’t possible. Maybe birds had bought it in. No one had figured out if animals could carry it too. There hadn’t been time.

“We had to try,” said Sean, his voice low. “We couldn’t just sit by and do nothing.”

“Yeah, you keep telling yourself that.” Nick snorted, hung his head. The prison bars pressed into his back. “We’ve done some dirty jobs over the years. Things that needed doing, but nothing like that. When did you start questioning orders, huh? When did it get too much for you?”

Sean just stared at him.

“Ever have trouble sleeping at night, captain? Or is your conscience perfectly clean?”

No answer.

Fuck him.

Nick turned back to Roslyn, watched the easy rise and fall of her chest. Her breathing calmed him. Her very existence gave him hope. Always had done, from the first time he saw her. He had no idea what life was for, couldn’t answer a single one of the big questions. But if he could keep her safe, make things better for her, then that would satisfy him. Make up for some of the blood on his hands. Funny, he could barely remember any woman that came before, but there wasn’t an inch of her he could forget.

“To answer your question,” Nick said, “yeah, I care about her.”

Sean set his book down and walked toward the jail cell. “Problem is, Nick, you can be a dickhead on occasion. You like acting up. Makes you less than dependable.”

Nick just waited.

“Maybe you were angry over the way we sent you packing,” said Sean. “You could have been using her to get back into Blackstone. Could have had something planned with Pete and Justin, for all we knew.”

When he didn’t answer, the captain went on.

“The truth is even more insane. How could you have brought that girl, chained her up and yet still have managed to persuade her to give you a chance?” Sean said with a harsh laugh. “I mean, how the fuck did you pull that off? Explain it to me, please.”

“Well, what you have to understand,” said Ros, her voice husky from sleep, “is that I base my decisions on how people behave toward me. And while there might have been some initial early hiccups, there are still far more marks in the win column.”

Nick shuffled over to her bedside, forgetting all about Sean and his bullshit. “How you feeling?”

“Hey.” Big blue eyes watched him steadily. She held out her hand and he went to her. “He earned my trust, Sean. Yes he made some mistakes. But you have to keep them in context. Every time it mattered, he came through for me without hesitation. Actions do speak louder than words and he risked his life for me more than once. So I’d appreciate it if you didn’t speak to him that way.”

“You in pain?” Nick asked, wanting the topic changed. Frankly, it was a little embarrassing having her stick up for him. He didn’t need Sean’s good opinion. The man could go fuck himself. “Lila dropped some antibiotics and painkillers off before.”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine. There’s still little bruises beneath your eyes.”

“Nonsense. Come here.” Ros’s hand snaked up around his neck and drew him down until his lips touched hers. He gave her what she wanted, kissing her soft and slow. She made this noise, this low, needy, intensely horny noise. Fuck, the things it did to him. But he didn’t want Sean hearing it. That noise was personal.