Nick licked his lips and his gaze slid down her warily as if her naked state worried him. So it should. His hands held back, not touching her. Fine, she could do the touching for both of them. Her fingers stroked the soft skin of his face, the arch of his cheekbones and the dips of his temple. For a while the day before, when she’d been fighting off the infected, she’d thought she’d never see him again. Never get to be this close to him, ever again. It put things into perspective. He had issues, but then so did the rest of the world. Nothing was normal anymore. Man-wise, it seemed she’d been searching for perfection, but it didn’t exist. Unicorns were more likely. People, on the other hand, were infinitely fallible.
“I also think that us leaving the cabin has got you feeling a bit discombobulated,” she said. “All of your careful plans have fallen by the wayside. That can’t be pleasing to your inner control freak.”
“I’m feeling what?”
“Confused. Unsettled.”
“And that’s why you’re sitting on me bare-ass naked?”
“No,” she sighed. “I’m sitting on you bare-ass naked because I want to have sex with you. I want to connect with you and feel close to you. Because you’re important to me beyond your ability to protect me.”
“Because you still think you can go out there and do okay on your own.”
She held back from rolling her eyes, just. “I’d manage.”
He snorted.
“But that’s not what we’re talking about,” she said.
“No? So what are we talking about? I’m confused, apparently.”
In answer she kissed his firm lips, trying to tempt him, to show him. Thank God, it worked. He opened his mouth to her on a groan and she slipped him her tongue. God, he kissed well. But then, he did all the physical stuff well. His hot, wet mouth hungrily kissed her back. It made her feel so much better. She squirmed against his hard stomach, rubbing herself on him oh so surreptitiously. As if he didn’t notice. Hands covered her thighs, fingers kneading her flesh. She kissed him until her head spun and she had to come up for air.
They both panted. But Nick took his hands off her and set them back on the bed at his sides. The look he gave her reeked of a challenge.
“Are you saying no to me?” she asked.
“No, I’m not saying no to you.”
“So I can do what I want?”
He cocked his brow. “Do you even know what you want?”
“I don’t think there’s a lot of doubt about that right now.” But she ground her wet pussy against him in case there was. “Talk to me, Nicky. You’re giving me cause for concern here.”
He hesitated, staring over her shoulder. “I think we went about this the wrong way. I think … I rushed things between us.”
Her world turned topsy-turvy. It spun and bounced and careened off the walls and made absolutely no sense at all. “And now you’re trying to slow things down? Right now? After today?”
“I said I was sorry about the gun,” he answered softly. “I meant it.”
“Yeah, you did. I know.”
“And I’ve been thinking since then …”
She waited. He didn’t elaborate.
“You’ve been thinking?” she asked.
He nodded. “About where we go from here.”
The silence held for a long moment as she attempted to pull her thoughts together. Her heart beat somewhere between her legs and he wanted to discuss their future. Random didn’t begin to cover it, given their not even a week-long history. She looked down and, good God, she was leaking bodily fluids over the man’s six-pack. The trail of hair leading from his belly button beneath the waist of his jeans clung damp to his skin. The musky scent of her overeager sex surrounded them.
“No. No. This is unacceptable.” She scooted backward and started in on the button and zipper of his jeans, tearing his pants open. “I am not doing this now.”
“Ros. I’m serious. I’m trying to do the right thing here! For once,” he finished bitterly.
“No.”
“Ros. Wait.” He waved his hands in the air and she ignored them.
“You picked the wrong time, buddy.” Grabbing two handfuls of denim, she dragged them down his thighs, freeing up the essentials. And the essentials were unperturbed by his bullshit, serious-relationship, ill-timed nonsense. It was the first time she’d come this close to his cock. Well, face-to-cock, as opposed to having him inside her. He looked to be just the right size, long and thick with veins wending up his length. The man had a rather attractive appendage, actually. She wrapped her hands around his hard length, testing the feel of him. Taking her time to learn him.