Flat-Out Sexy(52)

"I know that. I'm sorry for that. But you know I want you in the kids' lives just as much as you've always been."

"And Beth and I appreciate it. Hearing everything Elec does with the  kids and how taken they are with him, it made me realize that while it's  hard for me, it's good for them. They need a man in their life. Not  that you're not doing an excellent job solo but because life is just  easier, more well rounded, when kids have two parents in there pitching  in. Elec Monroe seems like a good kid, and you have my blessing."                       
       
           



       

Tamara wiped her face and shook her head. "I appreciate that, Johnny, but the thing is, I just broke up with him."

Johnny looked at her in amazement. "What? Why the hell would you do  that? Did he really knock up the lingerie model? Because, honey,  accidents happen."

"No. He never slept with her." Tamara bit her lip. "I broke up with him  because I can't deal with moments like today. That fear almost knocked  me to the floor. I can't lose another husband, I just can't."

"Well, now I understand fear. But, Tammy, you can't just stop loving people because you might lose them."

"Yes, I can." She didn't know how but she would force herself to stop loving Elec.

Johnny actually laughed. "That's ridiculous. Then if that logic is true, I guess you'd better stop loving Petey and Hunter."

"It's not the same thing."

"The hell it isn't. You could lose them, but would you have wanted to give back one single minute with them?"

Her throat constricted. "No, of course not."

"Then if you love this man, go for it, girl. Grab hold of every minute  of happiness and enjoy it. Tell yourself you may only have today or you  may have fifty years together, but love him for that time. Love him the  way we race-for the joy, for the thrill, for the adrenaline, and for the  triumph." Johnny looked at her sideways. "Does he take your breath  away?"

Tamara sighed. "Yes. He does."

"And exactly how many times do you think that's going to happen in your lifetime?"

Johnny stood up and reached for her hand. "Come on. Go on in there and make up with your man."

Johnny was right. She knew it. She had let fear take over. If she had  ten days, a year, a lifetime with Elec, it was better than denying  herself him. She loved him.

"Thank you," she told her father-in-law. "For everything. Now and the last eleven years."

He nodded. "You'll always be a Briggs."





ELEC was gone when Johnny walked her back in, and Tamara's heart sank.  Pacing back outside by the bench, she called Elec's parents to check on  her kids. It turned out they had hooked up with Beth and the kids were  back with their grandmother and intending to head to their hotel for the  night. Tamara talked to them on the phone for a minute and they seemed  tired, but fine. Elec's parents told her they had dropped him off at the  hotel. It didn't sound like he had said anything about her outburst,  because Elliot didn't mention it, though he did say Elec looked like he  was in a fair amount of pain.

"You heading back to the hotel?" Elliot asked. "I'm sure he could use some TLC from you."

"Yeah. I have to run an errand real quick, then I'll be there."

Tamara hung up and called Suzanne, who had been desperately calling her and texting her all weekend.

"Oh, my God, talk to me," Suz said as a greeting. "What is going on down  there? There's all this talk about the pit lizard and then you showed  up at driver's intro and then Elec wrecked today . . . it's crazy.  First, how is Elec?"

"Fine. Four cracked ribs."

"Good. Now what the heck is up with that Crystal chick? Is she really pregnant?"

"I have no idea. But if she is, it isn't Elec's. She is a total liar.  But I don't want to talk about her. Elec asked me to marry him."

Suzanne shrieked. "Holy monkey! That's awesome! When did he propose?"

"Friday."

"And you're just telling me now? What the hell?"

"Well, everything descended into chaos with Crystal, then I had a fight  with my father-in-law, then Elec wrecked, then I broke up with him."

"What? Why would you do that?"

"I freaked out, plain and simple. I saw that car roll and I just lost it. I said I couldn't handle it and broke up with him."

"Oh, Tammy, sweetie." Suzanne's voice was sympathetic. "I know that  fear, baby, even though I didn't lose a husband. You can't let that stop  you from being happy with Elec."

"I know. I had a chat with Johnny, believe it or not, and got my head  back on straight. Now I need you to do me a favor." The idea had just  popped into her head and she was going to roll with it. It was the  gesture she needed to show Elec she was ready to commit to him, to a  life together.

"What?"

"Find me a reputable tattoo parlor in Daytona."

"Umm . . . okay. Why?"

"I need to get a tattoo."

"Well, I figured that out. A tattoo of what, and why can't it wait until you get home?"                       
       
           



       

"I'm getting Elec's car number on my inside wrist like he has."

"Wow, that's incredibly romantic." Suz sounded impressed. "You're getting inked for him.

Wow. Okay, I'll call David Busbee's wife. They live in Daytona and he's all tatted up. I'll call you right back."

"Okay, thanks." Tamara took a deep breath and hoped Elec would forgive  her for her outburst. She was ready to become Tamara Briggs-Monroe.





TAMARA debated knocking on the hotel door or just using her key, then  decided she didn't want to wind up standing awkwardly in the doorway  having this conversation if he opened the door and didn't invite her in.  So she slid her key in and opened the hotel door.

Elec was sitting propped up on the bed with his shirt off, wearing his  boxer shorts and a vacant look as he stared at the TV. His head swung  over to her when she stepped inside.



"Hey," she said, tucking her hair back nervously.

"Hey. Did you come to get your stuff?" he asked, his voice stiff. "I packed everything up for you."

Her heart squeezed. "Honey, you shouldn't be bending over like that."  Unable to resist, she went over to the bed and pushed his hair back off  his forehead. "Did they give you pain medication? You look ashen."

"It's not really my ribs that are bothering me," he said, and the look  he gave her was so hurt and so full of meaning that Tamara knew she  needed to resolve this before she worried about his health.

"Elec, God, I'm so sorry about earlier. I just absolutely panicked when I saw your car roll.

That was one of the worst moments of my life, and Hunter was screaming,  and it just scared the daylights out of me." She took a deep breath as  she stood in front of him. "But the thing is I realized walking out of  that room like that was the last thing in the world I wanted. I don't  like the fear, but living with fear is so much better than living  without you."

He just stared at her. Finally he said, "Are you saying what I think you're saying? That you do want to be together?"

Tamara nodded, tears in her eyes. Lord, if she cried any more, she was going to dehydrate.

"Yes. I absolutely would be honored to be your wife if you'll still have me."

Elec's jaw worked. "Do you really mean that?"

"Yes. I love you. I love the way you love me, the way you love your  family, the way you love my children. I love the way you live your life  with integrity. I know you're a driver, that's who you are, and I love  the sport, too. I'm prepared to deal with all that it brings so that we  can be together." She meant every word of that. She wanted nothing more  than to share her life with Elec.

Elec listened to Tamara and felt the biggest sense of relief, coupled  with joy, that he had ever known. He had been sitting in the goddamn  hotel room staring at the TV and wondering how he was supposed to move  on from a hit so hard it had knocked the wind out of him. He had felt  like he'd come so close to having everything he'd ever wanted in his  entire life and had watched it get yanked away.

To have it back, to look into her eyes, and see she meant it, had him  reaching for her. He needed to feel her, touch her, and he took her  hand. "Yes, I absolutely want you to be my wife. God, I thought I  couldn't feel any worse than when you called things off this afternoon. I  want to be with you, to love you, to build a life and a family with you  and the kids."

"Really?" she said, climbing up onto the bed so she could slide in next to him.

"Really." Elec kissed her, ignoring the way his ribs screamed in  protest. Tamara was going to be his wife and he wanted to kiss her,  injury or not.