Elec stared at his hip-shaking brother and just missed Tamara all that much more.
TAMARA knew she shouldn't be looking forward to Monday, but she couldn't deny it-
she totally was. All weekend she fought the urge to stare off into space and fantasize about Elec and all the things they'd done and all the things they could still do.
She was like a kid at Christmas, a dog with a new stuffed toy, an addict with a fresh fix.
She was ridiculously, obnoxiously, offensively giddy when one o'clock rolled around and she was on her way home.
It was just so bad to be behaving the way she was. There was a big long list of reasons why she should call this relationship, or whatever she was doing with Elec, to a halt. There was only so far they could take this without someone finding out what they were doing, and that was a scary proposition. Her in-laws, her kids, his family, the media. Members of two stock car racing dynasties dating would be big news on the circuit, and given that she was a widow of a driver, it would garner even more attention.
Really, even beyond all of that, it wasn't like she and Elec could be together long term. He had an insane schedule that didn't jive with hers. He was six years younger than her and would want to have his own children someday, something she didn't think she was prepared to do. Hunter was already finishing up first grade, and the thought of going back to sleepless nights and diaper changes wasn't all that appealing. Not to mention she was not willing to risk finding herself alone again with yet another child to raise.
Of course, it wasn't like thinking about kids wasn't a giant leap ahead anyway, but it seemed like something they should consider before they could ever be more serious than they were at the moment.
Not that she really understood what they were at the moment. She kept trying to adhere to the sex-only idea, but Elec kept disregarding that. He called her, he texted, he brought her dinner and gifts for her kids. He clearly had mentioned her to his brother since Evan had been standing in the room when they'd been talking on the phone.
Parking in the garage, Tamara went in through the kitchen and tossed her keys in the basket by the phone. None of what she was doing made a whole lot of sense, but she was doing it.
And excited to be doing it.
And Elec was early. She was starting up the steps to change into jeans when the doorbell rang. He must have pulled in right behind her, which was both good and bad. Good, because it meant he was enthusiastic and she wouldn't have that awkward waiting period, sitting around her house trying to figure out if she should put on sexy underwear-not that she owned any-and getting nervous. It was bad because there was no time to shower or change or fix her hair or makeup. Half of her face had probably slid off in the car, but there was no time to do anything about it.
She ran back down the stairs and opened the door with a smile. Elec was standing there, one hand in his back pocket, the other holding a hot pink rose that he had clearly snapped off her rose-bush next to the porch steps.
"Hi," he said, and held it out for her. "It's almost as beautiful as you."
Yeah, the giddiness wasn't going to go away anytime soon if he kept saying things like that. Tamara took the rose and said, "Thank you. It's good to see you."
She felt oddly shy again, and she realized it was because she wanted Elec to keep wanting her. She wanted him to want to continue what they were doing, and while it was stressful and unnerving sometimes, she wanted him to want more, to want to date her. It felt fabulous to have the interest of someone as thoughtful and intense as Elec. She liked him, damn it, and knew that the reason she was giddy was because she wanted to share more of these moments with him, she wanted to enjoy their time together.
She wanted to be a couple.
Lord help her.
ELEC only listened with half an ear to Tamara's apologies for the state of her house, the state of her work clothes, the state of her makeup and hair. He thought she looked fabulous, tousled and real, with a pink flush on her cheeks, and he wanted to see if she was dewy and pink anywhere else.
"Tamara," he said, taking her hand and pulling her to the stairs.
"Yes?"
"I've missed you."
Her eyes went wide as she let him lead her up the stairs. "It has been a long week."
"And I'm not going to be fit for normal conversation until after I've buried myself deep inside you." No sense in beating around the bush.
"Oh." She blinked at him, clearly shocked, but he could also see how her eyes had darkened, and her nipples had hardened. "I guess you should do that then."
"It's kind of you to indulge me," he said with a small smile as they reached the top of the stairs. He walked to her bedroom, but glanced at her over his shoulder.
She was giving him a flirty little toss of her hair, her eyes looking up at him from under the luscious mink-colored eyelashes. "It's a huge sacrifice, but I'm willing to take one for the team."
"You do realize you've done great things for my driving."
"I don't think it has anything to do with me, but I did see you finished ninth yesterday.
That's awesome."
"You watched the race?" He was stupidly touched, knowing that she hadn't been watching racing since Pete's death.
"Yeah. I watched."
Her lips had parted, her eyes wide, and the effect was so sultry, so seductive, that Elec leaned over and gave her a hard, long kiss. It was on his lips to say, "God, I love you," but he stopped himself just in time. He wasn't sure what he meant by love, or why he felt like he wanted to say it, or what she would do if he laid something like that on her. So he kept his mouth shut.
He would let his body do his talking.
Tamara was breathing hard as they entered her bedroom, just from his kiss and anticipation, and that was the hottest goddamn thing he had seen. Elec brought her to the bed and took her mouth again, slower this time, savoring the softness of her lips, the tangy taste of her mouth. Her arms wrapped around him, and he heard the sigh of pleasure, of abandonment, in her voice. He loved that moment with Tamara, the sound that let him know she wasn't going to express worry or fear or insecurities anymore, that she was deep enough into the pleasure, the passion that flared so readily between them, that she was letting it all go, and just enjoying herself.
Elec kissed her slowly, worshipfully, undoing the buttons on the white sweater she was wearing. He pulled it off and dropped it on the floor, then tugged the matching tank top off over her head. Her hair sprung up and Elec smoothed it back down, staring into her eyes and feeling like he was drowning in that intensity, that sweetness, that desire. For him. All for him.
She was wearing girl pants that he didn't know the name for, the kind that stopped above her ankles and were a soft, silky fabric that just slipped off her when he undid the hook and zipper. The bra and panties she was wearing were just a plain white lace, but she looked so sexy just standing there, the picture of the perfect lady, a professor and mother, who did and said all the proper things, yet when touched just right, became a writhing, enthusiastic lover. His lover.
Yanking off his shirt and throwing it on the carpet, he pulled a condom out of his pocket and tossed it onto the bed so he'd have easy access to it. Undoing his jeans, he shoved them to the floor before gently pushing her back onto the bed. He didn't want anything fancy or rough, just him, over her, enjoying that she spread her legs for him, and only him.
He brushed his hands over her skin, across her shoulders, between her breasts, down her hips, avoiding the area of her stomach that she was so sensitive about, over the mound of her pelvis, to her inner thighs and the backsides of her knees. Goose bumps rose on her flesh and her eyes fluttered shut.
He'd never have the words to tell her how amazing he thought she looked, how classy and sensual, and he didn't even try. He just traced with his lips the same path his hands had taken, spending extra time brushing back and forth over her panties, breathing in the subtle scent of her arousal. Elec put a little pressure behind his movement, dipping into the depression between her folds with a kiss, and was rewarded by a damp spot on her panties when he pulled back.
Then Tamara surprised him, in a good way, by reaching down and shucking her panties so that her sexy, damp curls were inches from his mouth. He couldn't resist that kind of invitation, and he opened her and slid his thumbs down the interior of her pink folds, loving the little shiver of pleasure she gave. He loved seeing her open for him, loved that he could satisfy her with his tongue, and make her squirm in ecstasy.