God, he was in way too deep and they were only ten days into this thing. Being in her house, with her and her kids, was comfortable and satisfying, just as much as being in bed with her was, though in a totally different way. Making love to Tamara satisfied him physically and as a man, a lover. It was hot and sexy and emotional, intimate and intense.
Sharing an evening at home with her satisfied his need for a friend, for companionship, for the need he had to protect and take care of someone.
Together, it was dragging him under quick and he wasn't at all sure how she felt.
"I broke the rules, didn't I?" he said when she turned around, napkins clutched in her hand.
She nodded. "Yeah, you did."
"I'm sorry, that really wasn't my intention. I wasn't trying to push or manipulate you.
When you told me about being stuck in the house, I just thought that it would be a help if I stopped by with dinner. That's all."
"I know. I can see that." She set the pink napkins down on the table. "It's just that the minute you walked in the door, it changed. It's not just you and I hooking up for fun."
"Were we really going to be able to do that?" he asked. "I know we fell into this impulsively, but at least on my part, there is a deeper attraction than that. I agreed to keep it quiet and casual because that's what you wanted. It's never been what I wanted."
Tamara didn't answer his question. She just chewed her lip and fretted. "My kids are going to ask about you. Hunter will root for you on the track. They'll wonder why you don't come over."
"Ty and Ryder don't come over all the time, do they?"
"No."
"So chalk it up to them getting special visitors because they were sick. We don't have to involve them if you don't want, I promise." Even though he could honestly say he would enjoy spending more time with her kids. "But don't shut me out. I want to see you, Tamara."
She gave a little laugh. "Funny how you're the only person outside of work who calls me Tamara."
He wasn't sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. "That's how you introduced yourself to me," he said, baffled. "Would you rather I call you Tammy?" Hell, he'd call her whatever she wanted as long as he got to see her again.
"No. I like Tamara." She looked at him over the table with those big blue eyes, wide with uncertainty. "I like you, I mean really like . . . and I'm so confused. I don't know what we're doing, I don't know how to date. I haven't dated since I was eighteen years old, Elec."
"Do you honestly think anyone knows what the hell they're doing when they start a relationship? I don't know what I'm doing either. Do you think I meant to come over here and make you upset? I was just thinking it would be a nice thing to do, and now I'm regretting that I ever met your kids because it's going to be damn hard to promise you I won't get involved in their lives. I like them. I like you." Elec jammed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. "Being here with you . . . it feels so good. But I know we can't fool around with this, that protecting Pete and Hunter is the most important thing. I swear to you I'll make that my number one priority."
"Thank you." Tamara fiddled with a fork next to her plate. "I think maybe you got more than you were expecting with me. I'm a bit of a mess."
"No, you're not. You're just trying to do the right thing for your kids at the same time you're trying to respect the fact that you're a woman with a woman's needs."
She gave a slight smile. "I do have a woman's needs."
Elec moved closer to Tamara, wanting to taste her lips so bad he ached. "For which I am very grateful. As a matter of fact, I'd like to respect those womanly needs right now if you'll let me."
Tamara looked at him suspiciously. "What are we talking about here?"
"Just a kiss. That's all."
"Then I'll let you."
He already had her in his arms before she even finished speaking. Elec breathed in the scent of her, running his lips over her neck.
"Oh, God, I'll let you," she said, her head falling back.
That sensuous capitulation nearly did him in. Elec pulled her closer to him, burying his hands in her hair. Then he kissed her, feverishly, urgently, desperately. He wanted her to understand how much he desired her, how beautiful he thought she was, how much he wanted to bury his body between her soft, wet thighs. How much he wanted to make her come over and over until she was limp from pleasure, begging him to stop.
She kissed him back with the same furiousness, her tongue meeting his, her hands running over his shoulders, and landing low, down on his ass.
"Oh, shit," he told her, pulling back breathlessly, bumping his cock into her thighs one last time. "We've got to stop."
Nodding and panting, she whispered, "This is going to be a problem."
"We can get creative. You get a lunch break, right?"
"Yes."
"I'm usually free on Mondays. We can meet for lunch, if you know what I mean."
Tamara looked a little shocked, but she did nod. "I could do that."
"What time?"
"One thirty would work. I'm actually done for the day at one on Mondays. I guess we could meet . . . here." Her face had lost some color and her voice had dropped to a whisper, but she was in agreement and making plans.
Good enough for him. Now he figured he should retreat before she changed her mind.
"Perfect, I'll be here. Now should we eat or what? My stomach is digesting itself."
"Oh, right, dinner." Tamara pulled her chair out abruptly and sat down. "Just ignore the fact that I'm eating dinner in my pajamas."
"I won't tell if you won't."
She gave him an earnest look. "I do appreciate all of this. Please don't think that I don't.
I'm really grateful that you'd go to all this trouble for me."
"I'm not looking for gratitude," he told her as he took a seat in front of the beer. "Just your friendship."
"That you have," she said with a small smile. Then she took a deep breath, like she was digging into her reserves for fortitude. "Now tell me how things are looking for Pocono."
"I'd love to. If you will then explain to me what courses you teach."
"Deal."
They talked as they ate, and Elec was enjoying their easy conversation so much, he lingered way past when he should have left. A glance at the clock on her oven showed it was ten already and he knew Tamara had to be tired. They had cleaned up the dinner dishes together and Elec was itching to touch her again. But he knew if he started, he wouldn't want to stop.
She looked to be thinking the same thing. The dish towel in her hand, she kept leaning forward, then swaying back on her feet. "Wow, I didn't realize how late it was."
"Yeah, I should shove off."
Neither one of them moved an inch.
There was no telling how long they might have stood there gazing at each other with sexual longing flying between them, but Elec's cell phone chimed in his pocket. He was going to throw the damn thing off a bridge if it didn't stop making that noise when he got a text. The minute he was alone, he was going to change the setting to silent.
"Do you need to answer that?" she asked.
"No, it's just a text."
"Don't you want to read it?"
"Not really." What he wanted was to taste Tamara's mouth again, and to slide his hand up under her T-shirt and undo the bra she had put on. He wanted to lay her back across her round white table, peel her pink pajama pants off, and flick his tongue over her clit.
Not read his stupid text that he could almost guarantee was from Crystal.
"It's that girl again, isn't it?" she asked, her lip curling up.
He shrugged.
"Go ahead and see."
"I don't want to. I want to ignore her and hope she'll go away."
Tamara laughed. "It doesn't work that way. Just read it."
"Fine." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and pushed the buttons to read the text. Only it was a picture text, the image speaking louder than he imagined any words ever would.
"Oh my God."
He actually felt himself recoil away from his phone and the picture of Crystal's naked chest, his car number somehow attached to her nipples. He wasn't sure if she'd used tape or what, but her right breast had a large 5 on her nipple, and the left had a 6, creating a 3-D
effect.
"What?"
"Nothing." Damn, that was disturbing. He wasn't sure if he was supposed to be flattered or what, but it just left him feeling like he wanted to reach into his phone and snatch his numbers off her nipples. It felt sacrilegious.