"A, uh, friend of mine is at home with her two kids who have the pox, and she's going on a week stuck in the house. I was wondering if maybe there was something I could do to help her."
"Where is her husband?" his mother asked baldly. "He could be giving her a break."
"He's dead."
His mother lost her wariness. "Oh, my. Poor thing."
"Her in-laws seem to be helpful, but I'm guessing it's not the same thing as having a husband in the house." Elec had been thinking about that a lot, about how much responsibility Tamara really did have on her shoulders. It was no wonder she had hesitated to go out with him. Between both of their insane schedules, how often were they really going to see each other?
But Elec figured once a week was a hell of a lot better than nothing, though this week they weren't even going to get that.
"No, it's not the same. What kind of friend is she, Elec?" His mother was studying him in a way that made him uncomfortable.
He just stared back at her.
His mother smiled. "My little eyeball. So she's that kind of friend, huh? I get it."
Elec cleared his throat. "We had plans to go to dinner tonight, you know, without the kids, and I feel bad. She sounds exhausted. So I was wondering if maybe there was something I could do to help her out, you know what I mean?" He didn't know what he meant exactly, but his mother must have understood what he was getting at because she nodded.
"I'm sure she would appreciate that. Why don't you drop off some dinner for her? And maybe get a little something for the kids. They get bored with the chicken pox because after the first two days they don't feel sick, so a new book or toy goes a long way."
"Really? You think that it would be okay to go over there?" Elec had been pondering doing that very thing since Tamara had called, but he had talked himself out of it.
"Of course. She's got to be desperate for company, and giving her kids a distraction will be totally appreciated. And I bet she's sick to death of eating soup and Jell-O for every meal."
"So I should bring her dinner?" Elec sat back in his chair, ignoring his own lunch. He wanted to do that for Tamara. She didn't have it easy being a single parent, and he liked her, damn it. He wanted to give her a break, and he wanted to see her.
"Absolutely." His mother smiled and said, "You're such a good boy, Elec."
He rolled his eyes. "Thanks, Mom."
"But I have a serious question for you. How do you feel about dating a woman who has children already and no father? Are you sure you want to take that on?"
"We're just seeing each other casually. It's not a big deal."
"Yeah, but every relationship starts out casually then grows into something more. Are you okay with the possibility of having a hand in raising another man's children?"
Since it was the only way he was ever going to raise children, either through stepchildren or adoption, he was going to have to be okay with it. He had come to terms with not having his own kids for the most part. But he had to admit he wanted children in his life in some capacity or another. He liked kids, and enjoyed their energy and sense of wonder.
"I'm very okay with it, Mom. But let's not go jumping ahead, alright?" Sometimes, in the back of his mind, he'd done some jumping in the past week or so, but he tried to ignore it.
That was crazy talk and he knew it.
"Okay, fine, I just wanted to make sure you had thought this all through. I think this woman is lucky to have you around. But just make sure you're still planning to give me my own grandbabies someday."
Ouch.
His mother smiled at him, smoothing down her sleek, brown bob haircut, with no idea that she had just stabbed him in the heart.
So maybe he still wasn't totally okay with it. But it was the way it was. And he had never told his mother the truth. At eighteen it hadn't seemed like a conversation he'd wanted to have with her, and in the meantime, it had just never come up.
Eve, the only one who knew the truth, had heard their mother and she shot him a look of sympathy. "Elec's too smart to have any rug rats."
"Good plan," Evan told him. "I'm not having kids either. Too much crying and drooling and crapping."
Their mother swatted Evan on the arm. "Those are not good reasons not to have children.
What if I had said I wasn't going to have you because you were going to fill your diaper one too many times?"
Elec laughed as Evan made a face.
Then their mother went for the jugular. "I've gotten so much joy from the three of you that I would have changed a thousand more diapers to have you in my life."
His brother put up his hand. "Alright, point made. But I guess I'm saying I'm not ready for kids right now, and I don't see that changing anytime soon."
Elec wondered if he would feel the same way if he knew that he could have kids. While he'd always loved kids, chances were he would have wanted to wait until thirty or so himself if his boys could still swim. Strange that knowing he couldn't have offspring ever made him ache for them earlier than he probably would have.
It wasn't often that he allowed himself a bit of melancholy over the stupidity that had landed him in his current position but at the moment he felt washed in it. What the hell had he known at eighteen about the consequences of sex? He'd been excited and enthusiastic and the girl he'd been seeing had assured him she was on the pill. That had seemed like a huge bonus-not only did he get to dip his toe in the water, he got to do it without a condom. Only he had not been her first partner and she had been completely unaware that she had a common STD, which got passed right along to him. When he'd been told he'd had it a year later, he had been shocked to learn that 50 percent of sexually active adults who had STDs didn't even know it. The one he'd gotten had been easily cleared up with a course of antibiotics and could never return without additional exposure, but since he'd had it for a year without realizing it, the result was sterility, rare, but possible.
Maybe he should have told Evan and his parents, but how exactly did you go about explaining that? It had been stupid and pointless, and while he'd learned his lesson and never went without a condom now, it was still a hell of a price to pay.
Which was why he had been dating women like Crystal, casual, no strings attached. They didn't want children, but ultimately it seemed every one of them wanted fame and money more than they actually wanted him, and it had left him feeling incredibly empty.
Then he'd met Tamara.
And he was going to drop by her place and cheer her up, showing her that he understood what she was going through raising her kids on her own, and that he wanted more than just a casual hookup. He wanted a real relationship.
TAMARA wondered how it was that six o'clock had arrived and she still wasn't dressed.
But somehow between loads of laundry trying to combat all the dirty sheets, towels, and pajamas, entertaining the troops with card games and movies, and trying to find something that Petey would eat, she had never managed a shower. Her hair was back in a ponytail, her skin felt like she'd slathered Crisco on it since she hadn't cleansed it and had been running around all day in the house, and she was still wearing her Tinker Bell pajama pants with a pink T-shirt, sans bra. At least she could say she had brushed her teeth. That had to count for something.
Eating a piece of bread with peanut butter slathered on it, Tamara was debating stripping Hunter out of her sweat-soaked pajamas yet more one time and ruing the day she had passed on the varicella vaccine for her kids, when the doorbell rang.
Fabulous.
Licking crumbs off her bottom lip, Tamara went through the family room to the front door.
"Doorbell's ringing," Petey said, stating the obvious as kids so often did.
"Thanks, I've got it."
Tamara hoped it was a package being delivered, though she hadn't ordered anything. But she didn't really want to face anyone. A check through the peephole had her rubbing her shiny nose on her sleeve and trying to stick stray hairs back in her ponytail.
Oh, Lord, it was Elec.
What the hell was he doing standing on her front porch?
And could she look any worse?
She debated not answering, but he'd have to be a moron to believe she wasn't at home, and she just couldn't be that rude.
Plus, he had a bag in his hands, and she was curious as to why he was there.
So she tugged at her T-shirt to make sure it wasn't clinging too much to her breasts, and opened the door. "Elec. Hi."