I lift my head, wait for him to lift his. Then go up on tiptoes and press a soft kiss to his lips. Unlike so many of our others, this kiss isn’t about passion, about need, about the bindings that continue to grow between us. It’s about gratitude. Gratitude that he’s here with me now, gratitude for all the things he’s done for me—in the last few weeks and in the years when I had no idea what was going on.
I’ve carried a bitter fist of resentment with his name on it for years, one filled with anger and abandonment issues and fear that I’d never find another person who made me feel as he did. Fear that he’ll leave me just when I let myself care for him again.
No more. He doesn’t deserve my distrust or my fear, not when all he’s ever done is put my needs first. I brush my lips over his again and say the words that are burning inside me. “I love you.” I’m so grateful that I can say them now, as often as I want.
He looks just as moved now as he did in the car. Then he drops his head so that his forehead rests against mine. Closes his eyes. Drags deep, shuddering breaths into his lungs. I tighten my arms around him, realize that he’s shaking. “Declan—”
“Say it again.”
“I. Love. You.” I don’t know why this is affecting him so much, when I’ve already told him.
“I thought things might change when we got back here. When you saw how your family reacted to me.”
“My mother doesn’t get to tell me who to care about.”
“I know that. And I wouldn’t let you go anyway. You’re mine, Xandra Morgan.” His black eyes roam my face possessively. “And I will never let you go.”
I kiss him again. “Who says I want to go any—”
A huge boom—like the most vicious clap of thunder imaginable—rattles the house. “What the—”
Before I can finish, two more booms sound in quick succession. I’m still trying to figure out what’s happening when Declan shoves me against the nearest wall and covers my body with his.
Seconds later, the wall disappears and we’re falling.
Twenty-five
Wake up, Xandra. Please wake up.
I come to slowly, Shelby’s voice little more than a whisper in the corner of my mind. I’m awake, Shelby.
I’m scared.
Are they back? Are they hurting you?
No. Nobody’s here.
You’re alone?
Yes.
I’m sorry, honey. I try to focus, to remember what I want to tell her. But my head hurts and I feel groggy, out of it. Like I’m sinking into a pit of quicksand. No matter how hard I struggle to get free, I only end up sliding deeper and deeper under the surface. Is it dark?
Yes.
Are you okay? Does anything hurt?
A sad little whimper. My leg.
I know, baby. I’m so sorry. There’s more to say, but I still can’t remember what it is. Not while I’m drifting.
Xandra?
Xandra?
Xandra!
I’m here, Shelby!
I can’t feel you.
What do you mean?
Normally I can feel you inside my head, ever since the first time you talked to me. But I can’t now. You’re going away. She starts to cry. I don’t want you to go away.
I’m not going anywhere. The words sound funny even as I say them, all the syllables slurred and running together. Pretty soon we’ll get to meet in person. I can’t wait to talk to you face-to-face.
I don’t think that’s going to happen.
Why not?
I’m tired, Xandra. I’m tired and it hurts and I don’t want them to come back. I don’t want to do this anymore.
Alarm rips through my lethargy, reminds me of what I need to say. Shelby, I swear, baby, we’re looking for you. Do you know Nate? He lives on your street.
Officer Nate?
Yes, Officer Nate. He’s a friend of mine and he’s the one who asked me to help look for you. I told him what you showed me yesterday. The top of that building outside your window.
Officer Nate is looking for me?
He is. But he needs some help. When he got to the room you showed me, you weren’t there anymore.
I know. They moved me yesterday.
Did you see where they moved you?
No.
Do you have a window in this room? Maybe you can—
There’s no window. Her little voice sounds completely forlorn.
“Xandra!” Another voice interrupts our conversation. “Xandra!”
I listen for a second, try to figure out who it is, what he wants. But the voice drifts away and so does my attention.
It’s okay, baby. We’ll find you.
I want my mommy.
I know, Shelby. She wants you, too.
The woman, she says my mommy doesn’t love me anymore because I’m not a good girl.
Anger stirs. Don’t listen to her. Your mommy loves you very much and she really wants you back at home.