“Are you sure? We can talk in the shower.” The vulnerability is gone, replaced by a wicked gleam I know all too well.
I slap a hand on his chest, shove him away when he would have reached for me. “Dude, I know what your definition of shower is and it has very little to do with actually getting clean. I’m late. Plus, Austin’s in the middle of a drought—”
“Which is why showering together is such a brilliant idea. We should do our part to conserve.”
I snort. “Yeah, right. There’s not enough water in the state for the games you like to play. You’re on your own.” I close the door on him, then lean back against it for a second to give my legs a chance to steady. As I do, I catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My skin is flushed, my eyes dancing, and there’s a huge smile on my face.
It’s a good look for me—beats the hell out of the bruised and battered one I was sporting for a while. Not that I don’t still have bruises. I do, but thanks to time and Declan’s ministrations, they’ve faded to almost nothing.
I don’t look at them, don’t bring the darkness into this one perfect moment. Being with Declan makes me happy, something I couldn’t have imagined saying even two weeks ago. But he does. He makes me really, really happy and that’s enough for now. Whatever this is between us, while intense and over the top, feels good and right—especially since the rest of my life is pretty much a disaster right now.
But I know it won’t last. Not Declan, but the joy bubbling up inside me. It can’t, not with the darkness that lives inside both of us. Not with the twisted maze of lies and danger that stretches before us. Between us.
I flip on the shower, brush my teeth as I wait for the water to warm. Tell myself that I need to enjoy every moment we have together before the evil intrudes. After all, these stolen days in Declan’s arms are more than I ever thought I’d get when I was lying on that stage waiting to die. As long as I have him beside me, I can handle whatever comes next.
With that thought firmly in mind, I make my way toward the shower. But before I can set foot inside it, Declan is there—warm and naked, and suddenly I want nothing more than to crawl back into bed with all six and a half feet of him. And when he wraps his arms around me from behind, pulls me against his broad, hard chest, I can’t do anything but melt.
At least until he puts his mouth to my ear and murmurs, “Let’s talk. Is everything okay?”
The warmth leaves me in a rush. We need to have this conversation—I know we do. But I don’t want to do it now. Not when I’m still loose and sated from our incredible lovemaking. And not when I want to savor the sweetness and the joy that springs up so unexpectedly between us for just a few minutes.
I’m not a coward, though, and I can’t walk away from this conversation. I let Declan distract me earlier, just as I have every day since I’ve been out of the hospital. But that stops now. I need answers and he’s the only one who can give them to me.
“What—” My voice breaks, so I clear my throat. Take a breath. Then try again. “What are you planning on doing?”
“I need to make some phone calls, deal with the wrap-up of the tour. Usually all that’s done a week after the tour finishes, but I’ve been a little busy the last few days.”
Taking care of me. That’s not what he said, but it’s what he meant. My cheeks flush with embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to take you away—”
“Don’t,” he tells me, right before he bends down and takes my mouth in a searing kiss. “Don’t you dare apologize for what those bastards did to you.”
“I’m not apologizing for that. But I am sorry I’ve taken up so much of your time when you need to be doing other stuff.”
He stares at me for long seconds. “You just don’t get it, do you? Even after everything we’ve been through, you don’t understand how much you mean to me.”
I don’t. But I know how much he matters to me, and the thought of anything happening to him because of me, because of our relationship, cuts like a knife.
Again, I think about running away. About heading into work without ever having this discussion. I’ve put it off long enough, though, and it’s not good for either one of us to live in this kind of limbo where we’re uncertain of each other’s thoughts and intentions.
“When I asked what you were going to do, I didn’t mean today,” I tell him. “I was talking about the ACW. What your plans are regarding them?”
His eyes turn cold, flat, hard in an instant. “They need to pay.”