The third card, the King of Cups, is the contradiction card, the one that warns that things are not what they seem. As Lily talks about it, I try to puzzle out what is being hidden—besides Shelby herself. This is the card of ulterior motives and hidden agendas, and I can’t help but wonder what we’re missing. Is this not a straightforward kidnapping? And if it isn’t, what is the real motive? Murder? Sexual abuse? Or something darker? Something involving black magic?
I know the odds are against the kidnapping being magic related. This is a human child in the human world. And yet . . . something niggles at me. Some detail I’ve failed to pick up on or one I haven’t yet learned. Whatever it is, there’s more going on here than meets the eye.
The more I think about this, about Shelby, the more nauseated I get—until it takes every ounce of self-control I have to stay seated as Lily’s hand brushes over the fourth card, the Three of Swords. This card is secrets—I know because it shows up in my readings a lot. It’s not a bad card, has no harsh meanings associated with it, yet as I stare at it, I start to wonder.
No, please, no. I don’t want to. I don’t want to.
The voice comes out of nowhere, slams into me with the force of an eighteen-wheeler at top speed.
I won’t. I won’t. I—
I hear a high-pitched scream deep inside my mind and then a silence so ominous it scares the hell out of me. It’s Shelby. I don’t know how I know, but I do.
Helpless, hurting, I wait for more, for something else to come out of the unsettling quiet. It takes longer than it should, so long that I start fearing the worst. But then Shelby finds me again. She’s whimpering now. Begging. Crying. Pleading.
Don’t make me. Please don’t make me.
I don’t know what’s going on, what they’re forcing that poor child to do, but her fear is palpable inside me. And for the first time since my powers unlocked, I pray for them to come. Pray for that soul-deep compulsion that takes over my mind, my body, my very will, and drags me out into the world in search of evil.
I’ve spent the last few days terrified that I would feel it again, but now I want it. Now I’d do anything for it. Suffer anything if it means finding the terrified little girl whose fear is ripping at the corners of my mind.
I reach for the card. I know better, but I do it anyway. Maybe if I can touch it, I can see her, find her. But my fingertips sizzle the second they come in contact with the Three of Swords and I yank my hand away. Damn it. Lily always warns me not to touch any of the cards once she lays them out in the spread, but I always thought that was just because she didn’t want me to disrupt the flow of energy during the reading.
But that fire, that sear, was something else entirely. I turn my hand over, stare at the blisters starting to form on the three fingertips that touched the card. They burn, ache, and I know I should run some cool water over them. But the pain in my hands is nothing compared to the pain rising up inside me, slowly consuming me from the inside out.
With it comes fear of the most bitter kind. I’m not going to be able to find Shelby. At least, not until it’s too late.
With this realization, the questions that have haunted me since I found Lina down by Town Lake rear their ugly heads once more. Why do I have this power? Why do I see these things, if I can’t do anything but relive them after they’ve happened? What’s the point of living through the pain, if I can’t do anything to stop what I see?
What’s the point of seeing little Shelby if she’s doomed to suffer anyway?
Lily reaches for the last card, and even she seems hesitant. She’s staring at the burn on my hand, trying to puzzle out what it means. I can tell from the look on her face that in this one moment, she is as lost to the darkness as I am now. It’s a sobering realization, especially considering we’ve always been careful not to tread too close to the shadows.
That care is gone now, and—I’m afraid—so is the light.
How can it not be after what I’ve seen since my gift came to me? After what I’ve seen and done? Even Lily’s been affected by the stain working its way through me. But at least she can still find her way back.
The thought comes out of nowhere and makes me shakier than I already am. Part of me wants to end this now, to run screaming out of the room as if my hair’s on fire. But that won’t solve anything.
Plus, the reading still needs to be finished, the spread closed. And maybe, just maybe, a clue can be found that will help Nate. I hold on to that thought, keep it in the forefront of my mind, going over it again and again like a chant.
Or a prayer.
The last card is the Ten of Swords. I’m shuddering before Lily even picks it up, the fear overwhelming now. It’s inside me, pinging around. Ripping at me until I can barely think, barely breathe.