First Times： Nine Tales of Innocence Lost(54)
“I haven’t had a twosome,” I blurted.
She looked at me for a good minute, giggles building the whole time. Finally she burst out laughing.
“Oh my God. The virgin porno store clerk. You are too precious.”
I turned beet red and shifted on my stool. “There’s nothing wrong with it,” I said, defensively.
“Of course not,” she said, “everyone has a right to their own body and their own sexual expression. I don’t judge people for the things I do, so I certainly don’t judge people for the things they don’t do, right?”
“Right,” I said.
“Still, you must have fooled around.”
“Not really.”
“I mean, there’s lots of things that are fun but aren’t sexy. You’ve at least had somebody eat you out, right?”
“No.”
“Fingered you?”
“No.”
“Dry humping?”
“No,” I sighed.
“Well, you’ve blown a guy, right? Boys are all about the blowjobs.”
“No,” I sighed. Louder.
“Given a handy?”
“No.”
“At least tell me somebody has copped a feel.”
“No,” I said, shifting uncomfortably.
“I can see I’m upsetting you. I’m sorry, hon, it’s just… are you asexual?”
“What’s that?”
“Some people are oriented towards men, some towards women, most towards both at least a little, some towards both fifty fifty… some people are oriented towards not being sexual at all. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“I’m not that,” I sighed. “I’m just…”
“Just what?”
I looked down. I hid behind my big mop of hair, to conceal the tears stinging my eyes.
“I’m fat, and… I don’t… I just…”
I shrugged, and the shrug turned into quivering shoulders as I broke into sobs.
She touched my shoulder. “Hey,” she said. “Look at me.”
I looked up, and scrubbed at my eyes with the back of my hand.
“You’re not fat,” she said. “You’re curvy. With the right clothes you could really flaunt it. I didn’t want to say anything, since it’s not my business, but you could be a real knockout if you got your hair done up and worked on how you dress.”
“I can’t afford that,” I sniffed. “I have to work here if I want to afford soap.”
“Maybe I could help you,” she said.
“Huh?”
“I’m not going to take you to New York to go shopping hon, but I know how to buy the right kind of clothes without making it real expensive, and we could get your hair done. We’ll make it a date, huh?”
“O-okay,” I said.
“Friday night, after your shift. Just us girls, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Now, I want you to go home. No one is going to buy dildos from a crying girl.”
I sniffed. “You’re sending me home?”
“Vacation with pay. Go get some rest, sweetie. I’ll mind the shop.”
I gathered up my things and left. Dianne must have felt better. She looked better as she walked me out to my car. It was a bit of a ritual she and I had. She’d walk me out, with her Colt .45 stuck down the back of her jeans, until I was safe in my car. She didn’t trust the place in the dark, she said. She waved and went back inside.
When Friday finally came, I was so excited I could barely contain myself, even if something was bothering me. In the back of my head I kept remembering the way she said make it a date. She didn’t mea like a date-date, did she?
When I saw Dianne I almost tripped and fell. She’d gone all out, and she was sex on legs. She wore dark blue leather pants that hugged every sinuous curve of her long legs and were cut so low that I was sure I’d have been able to see her pubes if she didn’t shave. She topped it off with a skin tight black-tshirt with nothing under it, carefully tugged into place to ride up from her hips and expose the field of multicolored flowers that formed a belt of tattoos around her waist, with a lotus above her tailbone. She had full sleeves on both arms, too, flowers and vines from her wrists to where they disappeared under the sleeves of her shirt. She’d dyed her hair a riotous shade of unnatural dark red with purple lowlights.
“Hey there,” she said.
“H-hey yourself,” I said back.
Nothing changed. I did my homework, sold pornography and sex toys, and Dianne puttered around the shop, checking the shelves and doing inventory with a clipboard. The store closed at seven on Friday. When no one came in after six forty-five, Dianne locked up early.