I wouldn’t have answered right then, but the display said it was Lis. She knew everything that was going on, including my break up with Hop, which led to her gently trying to understand why we broke up since she told me she liked him and thought he was good for me. She was also worried about me so I didn’t want to miss a phone call from her to make her more worried about me. I’d done enough of that to people who cared about me.
“Hey, sweetie. Now’s not a good time,” I said in greeting. “I’ll call you back in an hour or so and we’ll talk.”
“You think maybe her best fuckin’ friend and your fuckin’ friend, brother, might have been able to take your back on that?” Tack asked a very good question.
I didn’t hear Hop’s answer because Lis spoke in my ear.
“Lanie, honey… God. I don’t know how to say this so I’m just going to say it. The bubble burst last night at Mom and Dad’s. Dad is in the hospital. Mom’s in jail.”
I blinked at the covers.
“What?” I whispered.
“Apparently, this is a guess,” she began, “but I figure Dad stewed on what you said then finally pulled his finger out and made his decision. From what I could get from Mom’s hysterical phone call, Dad informed her he couldn’t keep hurting her and his other chick, so he made a decision and he picked the other chick. Mom finally grew a backbone, lost her nut, grabbed a bottle of wine and conked him on the head with it. He started bleeding. She started yelling. They started scrapping. The neighbors freaked, the cops were called, then the ambulance. Now Dad is under observation for a concussion and Mom needs a cosigner for a bond since Dad’s seriously pissed and he’s pressing charges.”
“Oh my God,” I said.
“Lady, what is it?” Hop asked.
“I know,” my sister agreed.
“Oh my God,” I repeated.
“No shit,” my sister replied.
“Lanie, baby, what is it?” Hop asked.
“Oh my God!” I cried.
“Jesus, Lanie,” Hop clipped and I felt his hand under my chin lifting my eyes to his where he was standing by the bed, looking worried. “What the fuck is it?”
“Oh my God,” Lis said in my ear. “Please tell me that’s Hop.”
I ignored her, the fact that Tack was standing there and told Hop. “My dad told my mom he picked the other woman. She lost it. Conked him on the head with a wine bottle. He’s in the hospital and pressing charges. She’s in jail and looking for a cosigner for her bond.”
Hop’s hand fell away as he straightened, all the while doing a slow blink.
Then he asked, “Say again?”
“My dad told my mom he picked the other woman. She attacked him with a wine bottle. She needs a cosigner on a bond.”
Hop stared at me. Then his whole torso shot back as he burst out laughing.
“Hop!” I shouted. “This isn’t funny!”
He tipped his eyes to me, still laughing. “Oh, fuck yeah it is, baby.”
“You know, he’s right,” Lis said in my ear.
“Please, babe, tell me, since he’s in the hospital, she did some damage,” Hop begged.
“Hop!” I snapped.
“I totally like him,” Lis declared. “I already liked him considering he never missed the opportunity to give my little sister an orgasm but now I really like him.”
“Lis!” I hissed into the phone, rethinking how much I shared with my sister.
“Just sayin’,” she mumbled. “Dad’s a dick.”
“He might have a concussion!” I cried.
“Yeah, shit happens when you’re a dick,” Lis replied, then went back to mumbling. “Long time coming.”
“Oh my God!” I shouted and suddenly I didn’t have a phone in my hand because Hopper had it in his and was talking into it.
“Gotta have a meet with the brothers, babe, but, you want, and you don’t have the collateral, thinkin’ my boys won’t have a problem with Chaos covering her bond. We’re not real big on motherfuckers steppin’ out on their families then pressin’ charges when they get their due, their woman clocks them with a wine bottle.”
I looked to Tack who was standing, arms crossed on his chest, lips twitching, sapphire blue eyes dancing, earlier pique vaporized, and announced, “Those are the first words my man has ever spoken to my sister.” Then I asked, “How’s that for an introduction?”
“FYI, darlin’, need to vote but Hop ain’t wrong. Sounds like Chaos will cover her bond,” Tack shared, and my mouth fell open.
Then I closed it to request, “Can you at least try to be a normal person in a crazy situation?”