He lost it, too. I knew it when he pressed even closer, changed the subject and growled, “Can’t sleep. Not hungry. Can’t concentrate. If I don’t pay attention, my mind wanders to you.” His face dipped close as I started hyperventilating at his words. “I tried to give you what you needed, to stay away, let you live your fucked-up life, but I can’t. Taste you in my mouth, lady. See you in my dreams.”
Oh God.
He was killing me.
I couldn’t bear this, therefore I whispered, “Stop it.”
“No,” he replied.
“We cause each other pain,” I reminded him.
“I get it,” he returned. “I get that you bury the good we got that’s way fuckin’ bigger than the bad to protect yourself from losin’ it, seein’ as you’ve lost everything you had that matters, startin’ with your mom and dad.”
Why did he have to be so smart?
“You aren’t gonna lose me,” he promised.
“You can’t promise that,” I snapped.
“Yeah, I fuckin’ can,” he shot back.
“Life happens, Hop,” I told him.
“It doesn’t if you don’t live it,” he retorted.
See? Smart!
Gah!
“Well, this isn’t going to happen,” I declared.
“Fuck yeah, it is. I’m done with this shit. Weeks, nothin’ on my mind but you. Weeks, goin’ to bed alone when you’re a fuckin’ twenty-minute drive away. Heard you were talkin’ to that fuckin’ guy and lost it. I ate shit, did shit I hated, scored marks on my goddamned soul to fight for the life I wanted. Bein’ that man, do you think I’m gonna let the first woman in my life who makes me happy slip through my fingers?”
Uh-oh.
That was beautiful. No matter how crazy scared I was, I couldn’t deny the beauty of what he said.
“I’m not,” he stated.
“Hopper—”
I got no more out because Hop pulled me in his arms and kissed me. It was hungry, even desperate.
And gorgeous.
Still, I fought him, pushing at his shoulders.
This lasted about five seconds before the taste of him, the feel of him, his scent penetrated, and it hit me I was getting my fix. It hit me I’d gone cold turkey and that ache I carried with me was me jonesing for nearly a month. It hit me all I needed to reach that unbelievable high that beat out everything in sheer beauty was holding me in his arms.
I slid my hands from his shoulders, wrapped my arms around him, and I kissed him back.
When I did, Hop growled down my throat, the sound shooting through me, bursting in pure goodness between my legs. He bent into me, twisting me, and deepened the kiss.
Ecstasy.
I was gone, coasting on bliss when he tore his mouth from mine, stepped back, let me go but curled his fingers in a tight grip around mine and started walking, dragging me with him.
In my high-heeled boots, I hustled after him.
He kept us to the shadows rimming the revelry. We hit the Compound and he continued to waste no time pulling me through to the back hall and into his room.
He closed and locked the door as I threw my purse on the floor and yanked off my pashmina. Then he turned to me. Herding me backwards to the bed as his hands went to my sweater, he pulled it up and it was gone.
His lips hit mine and a second later, my back hit bed.
We kissed deep and wet as I tugged at his cut to yank it down his arms. Hop broke the kiss to arch back, yank it off, then tug off his black thermal.
Yes.
My hands went to the skin of his chest, my fingers curling in, nails scraping down, one scoring through the denser hair along the line between his abs.
He growled, took my mouth in another kiss as he jerked down the cup of my bra and his thumb and forefinger homed in.
I moaned into his mouth.
Hop pressed his hard hips into my soft ones.
I couldn’t wait any longer.
I tore my lips away. “Now, Hop, honey. I need you now,” I begged.
“You got it, lady,” he replied, his voice thick, his hand moving from my breast to my belt buckle.
I tugged and pulled at his. He did the same with mine. My hands were shaking with need so he got his task completed faster and I lost purchase on his jeans when he pulled mine down my legs.
“Fuck. Your boots,” he grunted. “How do I get these fuckers off?”
“Zip at the side,” I wheezed, pulling down my panties.
Off went my boots then Hop curled his fingers in my panties and they were gone.
“Lay back. Open,” he ordered.
I did as asked.
Hop covered me then Hop entered me.
Even as my back arched, I rounded him with all my limbs.
Oh yes. God, yes.
This was what I needed. I couldn’t live without this. I couldn’t beat this habit.
I didn’t even want to.