When Roman fell silent, Hunter gently asked, “Is it my turn?”
When Roman reluctantly nodded, Hunter reached up to cup his face in both his hands. “I’ve never said those words either, Roman. And while I’m not afraid to say them to you, I am afraid you won’t believe me…that you’ll think I’m saying them to spare your feelings or to keep from losing you. So I’m going to wait until I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you’ll believe me…that you won’t doubt for even a second how I feel about you.”
To Hunter’s relief, Roman actually relaxed and then his arms were folding around Hunter, drawing him in. Hunter wrapped his arms around Roman’s neck and just held on to him as his insides exploded with joy. Roman loved him. Him.
“Can you stay for a while?” Hunter asked, his lips skimming over the skin just below Roman’s ear.
Roman’s only response was a nod and since neither of them seemed in a hurry to move, they just stood there in his tiny kitchen holding each other.
Chapter Nine
Roman cursed as he inadvertently knocked the empty glass off the nightstand next to his bed as he fumbled for his ringing cell phone. A glance at the clock showed it was just past three in the morning, London time. He couldn’t make his eyes focus enough to see the caller ID just before he answered.
“Roman?”
Roman’s heart nearly stopped at the sound of Hunter’s broken voice.
“Hunter, what is it? What’s wrong?” he asked gently even as he jolted upright and searched out the button that would turn on the light next to the hotel room bed.
“Um, I know it’s late…I’m sorry-”
“Baby, it’s fine, just tell me what’s wrong.”
Hunter didn’t respond at first and Roman’s panic went up another notch. He’d video chatted with Hunter earlier in the evening just before he’d gone to sleep and he’d been fine. Roman had been in London for four days and was scheduled to fly back to Missoula in two. He’d been in regular contact with Hunter the entire time via calls and texts and although he could tell Hunter was missing him, he’d still seemed upbeat.
“Hunter, I’m going to switch the call to video, okay?”
“No-” Hunter cried. “I don’t want you to see me.”
“Hunter, you’re really scaring me.”
Hunter sniffed and then said, “You said I should call you if…if I felt like I was going to…”
Anxiety coursed through Roman as he realized what Hunter was trying to tell him. “I’m so glad you did, baby…I’m really proud of you,” Roman said gently as he swung his legs over the side of the bed and got up so he could move around as he talked. “Take a few deep breaths for me, okay?”
But instead of doing as he asked, he heard Hunter start to cry. “I didn’t want you to ever see this part of me again,” he managed to get out between shaky breaths.
“Hunter, remember what I told you that day at the hot springs?”
Hunter was quiet for a moment before saying, “Good and bad.”
“Good and bad,” Roman repeated softly. “Now can you take a few deep breaths for me?”
“Yeah,” Hunter said and there was a long silence as Roman waited impatiently and cursed the distance between them. Even if he called Gray and Luke, it would take them an hour to get to Hunter. And if he called the police, Hunter could very well end up locked away in some mental hospital on a psychiatric hold until he was no longer deemed a danger to himself.
“That’s good, now do three more.”
Hunter’s voice sounded a little bit steadier as he said, “Okay.”
“Can you tell me what happened?”
“Um…I was thinking about tomorrow and I started getting nervous about what the doctor was going to ask me.”
Hunter’s first appointment with his new therapist was scheduled for the next day and although he’d expressed some anxiety about it when he and Roman had talked earlier, he also seemed eager to get it behind him.
“I started worrying that if I told him about hurting myself that he was going to say I was crazy and that maybe he’d have to put me in a hospital or something. What if he calls my parents, Roman? Can he…can he make it so they get to say what happens to me again?”
“No, baby, he’s not going to do that,” Roman said, though in truth, he had no clue. “I won’t let it happen, no matter what, okay?”
“My dad…he knows lots of people…”
“Hunter, I guarantee you, I know more. No one’s going to lock you up and your father is never getting near you again, do you hear me?”