“Why the club, Hunter?” Roman asked.
“I didn’t know what kind of place it was,” Hunter responded lamely.
“Let’s say I’m willing to suspend belief long enough to believe that bullshit - are you telling me the sight of all those men groping each other on the dance floor didn’t give you a clue?”
Hunter remained stubbornly silent, his eyes focused on the scenery flying by.
Roman shook his head in agitation and reminded himself it was none of his business. He was here to up his own net worth, not help some confused kid admit he preferred dick to pussy. So he had no idea what possessed him to ask, “Last night with those bikers – was that your first time?”
Still no response but Roman didn’t miss the way Hunter dashed at his eyes.
“Look, if it was about needing it rough because you like pain or something, there’re places you can go for that…there are guys who can give you what you need without putting you in danger.”
Roman felt sick even mentioning the idea to Hunter since the thought of some man – any man – inflicting pain on the young man’s body to help him get off had Roman’s protective instincts firing on all cylinders.
“It wasn’t about that,” Hunter suddenly whispered so softly that Roman barely heard him.
“Then what-”
“I went there to prove I wasn’t…I wasn’t what you said.”
Jesus, the poor kid couldn’t even say the word gay?
“And did it?” Roman asked gently. Hunter still hadn’t looked at him even once since they’d left town.
“Watching those men dancing together, kissing, touching…” Hunter’s voice dropped off.
“Turned you on,” Roman supplied.
Hunter nodded. “And then that biker came up to me and I didn’t…I wasn’t…” Hunter struggled to find the right words and this time Roman remained quiet. “I thought that if I was with someone like him then maybe it wouldn’t be true.”
A chill went through Roman as understanding dawned. The realization was so disturbing that he had to pull the car over to the side of the road. His fingers bit into the steering wheel as he forced himself to dispassionately ask, “And when you followed him into the pool room and saw the other men?”
But Hunter didn’t answer him and Roman didn’t really need him to. Roman started counting in his head in a desperate effort to remain calm as he tried to accept what Hunter had put himself through just to prove to himself that he wasn’t attracted to men.
“I didn’t know it would be like that…” Hunter choked out and Roman saw silent tears begin to slip down his face. “I knew it would hurt but I didn’t expect…”
“Did you tell them to stop?”
Hunter shook his head. “I figured the pain would eventually go away. And it did. I didn’t feel anything anymore…didn’t hear anything, didn’t see anything.”
Tears continued to dampen Hunter’s skin but Roman was at a loss as to what to do or say so he just reached his hand out and closed it over one of Hunter’s where it was resting on his trembling thigh. Hunter shifted his hand but it wasn’t to release Roman’s – it was to link their fingers together. The move had something loosening and breaking free deep inside of Roman’s chest.
“It was a mistake – I knew it as soon as the first guy...but I kept hoping maybe it worked,” Hunter admitted as he began wiping at his face with the sleeve of his free arm. His voice kept cracking as he spoke and it was hard for Roman to understand his next words but when he did, he felt his heart clench.
“And then you kissed me.”
***
Hunter missed the warmth of Roman’s fingers even though he knew he shouldn’t. Roman hadn’t said a word after Hunter’s admission – he’d just pulled his hand free of Hunter’s so he could put the car in gear. Forcing his eyes from where Roman’s thick, strong fingers were wrapped around the steering wheel, Hunter clenched his hands together in his lap.
“Take the next right,” he murmured.
“Your dad said you’re familiar with the property,” Roman finally said after he’d taken the turn.
“I practically grew up on it,” he answered and a warmth spread through him as the memories started to slowly come back one by one. “It belonged to my grandparents.”
Roman seemed surprised by that. “Do they still own it?”
“Gran does. Pops died a few years back.”
“You know why your grandmother is selling it?”
“I didn’t know she was,” Hunter admitted. He’d only found out the news himself this morning and while he’d been stunned to hear that his grandmother was letting go of the land where she and his grandfather had planned to someday live out their golden years, he’d known better than to question his father about it.