Finding Eden(83)

I felt my orgasm swirling through me, my balls drawing up tightly against my body. And then it hit and I groaned out loudly with the sudden, intense pleasure, bucking my hips up into her. Eden gasped and then fell forward on me, moaning out her own climax. God, I loved that.

I brought my arms up around her, enveloping her small back and just held her there, breathing in her sweet scent and loving her so intensely, it made my heart speed up.

"Polly," she said in a voice a little above a whisper, "you deserve a man who is going to love you in ways that make you feel like the angel you are. Someday maybe I'll be that man, but right now, I'm not. And I love you far too much to offer anything less. Wait for me, Polly. Believe in me. Be my reason for fighting."

She was silent for a second as I waited.

"I'm sorry, Hendrix," she whispered. "I can't." I felt the wetness of a tear fall onto my shoulder as I waited again.

When she was silent, I said, "And then?"

She shook her head against my shoulder. "And then nothing. That was the end."

"What the hell?" I asked, feeling an outrage that I wouldn't have admitted to.

"It's a cliffhanger," she said. "We'll find out what happens in three months."

"You bet your ass we will," I said.

Eden started laughing and I slipped out of her with the movement. She brought her head up and gazed down at me. "I'm pregnant," she whispered.

My whole body froze. She continued to watch me closely as I gaped at her. "I . . . what? I thought . . . you said . . ."

She nodded her head, moving off me and lying down on her side. I turned toward her. "I know. I'm shocked, too. The doctor said it'd be highly unlikely I'd ever conceive without assistance. I don't know what to say. I feel like I tricked you or something." She continued to watch me, her eyes wide and filled with worry.

"Eden," I said, gently, my heart finally stuttering back to life. I brought one hand to her stomach. She sucked in a breath.

"Are you . . . are you happy?"

I was shocked, not quite feeling ready to parent a baby. But I knew how much Eden had ached having our other baby stolen from her, how much we both had ached. And then thinking she'd never be able to have another. A feeling of relief, followed quickly by joy, filled my heart. I brought my hand up to her cheek and whispered, "Yeah, I'm happy. Are you?"

Tears filled her eyes and she nodded her head. I pulled her close and just breathed with her for a few minutes. "How far?" I asked.

"About five weeks, I guess. I don't know. I bought a test at the drug store we stopped in today and took it in the bathroom down at the spa." She sniffled against my chest.

"Did we make this baby in the Bed of Healing?" I asked with a smile.

Eden laughed out a small half-laugh, half-cry. "I think we did."

I let the news sink in. "It feels right. It feels like a second chance," I whispered.

Eden nodded and sniffled again.

A part of me felt inadequate . . . I still didn't have a name, an identity, let alone the ability to support them yet. But I knew one thing. "I'm going to protect you, both of you," I said. "I won't let anything happen to you."

Eden leaned back and studied my face, her eyes troubled. "I know you will," she said. "Never for one second will I ever doubt that."

I breathed in deeply and pulled her closer. We fell asleep in each other's arms - a small, new life nestled between us in the safety of Eden's body.

In the darkness of night, Eden shook me awake. "You're dreaming, Butterscotch," she said softly, gentleness in her voice. "You're dreaming of them."

I let out a harsh breath, trying to get my racing heartbeat under control. I brought my hand up to my hair and gripped it. A feeling of deep dread had settled somewhere inside me and wouldn't release its hold. "Yes," I gasped out.

"You haven't had a nightmare in a long time," she said softly, laying her head on my chest and wrapping her arm around my bare middle.

"I know," I said, starting to relax a little bit.

"Is it because of the baby?" she asked.

"I . . . maybe." I pulled her closer. "But only because I want to keep you both safe." She kissed my skin softly.

"You will keep us safe. I trust you, Calder," she said, tenderness in her voice.

For the first time in a very long time, I said a prayer to the God of Mercy. I wanted so desperately not to let her down.



**********



The next day was chillier than the one before and so Eden put on a big sweater and I layered two long-sleeved shirts before heading out to breakfast. The air was crisp, but the sky was cloudless and blue overhead, and there was that faint smell of burning leaves in the air that I had learned to associate with fall since being in the outside world.