I paused. "Bobby?"
"Oh." She laughed. "Detective Lowe."
"Uh, yeah, he is, Mom."
She smiled happily, leaning on the counter and taking in a deep breath. "I think he likes you," she said.
I halted in opening the bag of popcorn and stared back at her. "I'm with someone, Mom, in case you might have forgotten? Calder? He lives in your house here with us?"
My mom laughed uncomfortably. "Well of course, I'd never forget Calder. How could I?" She pressed her lips together, but then her expression gentled and she took a deep breath. "I just hope you notice how attractive other men find you. You've never experienced any of that." She looked down. "I know I'm meddling, Eden, I do. It's just . . . I never got to be involved in giving you any motherly advice when it came to dating, or . . ." Pain washed over her face, but I didn't reach out to her. "I just think it's always good for a woman to recognize all her options." She paused for a brief second. "Calder is such a nice boy, and so very handsome, obviously, but, you know, you don't have to feel guilty if you think about experiencing a man who could possibly give you more security, someone who doesn't constantly remind you of the terrible past. I swear to you, I'm only saying this out of love."
Then why didn't it feel loving? I opened my mouth to say something to her, I wasn't even sure exactly what, when I heard movement behind me. I turned to see Calder standing in the doorway, a look of hurt plastered all over his face.
"Calder—" I started, glancing between him and my mom who was avoiding his gaze.
"The movie's starting," he said, turning and leaving the room.
I gave my mom a death glare. She shrugged, but had the grace to look embarrassed.
"Hey," I said, when I got to the living room where he was waiting for me on the couch. "I'm not making excuses for her, but you know my mom is just kind of controlling with me because she's fearful of losing me again, right?" God, I was making excuses for her. Frustration filled me, for the situation, with myself. I wasn't sure what I should do.
Calder was quiet for a few beats. "Yeah." He looked at me. "This is just a tough situation. It'll pass."
I nodded, but he still looked hurt. Surely he knew I'd only ever love him? For the three years I'd lived with Felix, I'd never even looked at another man—never had interest in another man. He had to know he meant everything to me. I moved in and snuggled with him on the couch for the rest of the afternoon, ignoring my mom, but not knowing if that would make things better or worse.
CHAPTER TWELVE
Eden
A couple days later, I awoke bright and early, despite the fact that I had barely slept the night before. I was worried about Calder. We spent all our time together, and yet I felt like he was withdrawing from me. And for the first time since we'd arrived at my mom's house, he hadn't come to my room. The thunderstorm that went on and on all night hadn't helped matters.
When I went downstairs, I heard a male voice in the kitchen and walked in to see Xander sitting at the kitchen table with Molly.
"Hey," I said to both of them.
"Hey," Xander said, standing up and giving me a hug.
"Morning." Molly smiled
"What are you doing here so early?" I asked Xander. I poured myself a cup of coffee from the pot on the counter and returned to the table to sit down with them.
"I work this morning," he said. "I just wanted to stop in and check on Calder. And I was hoping you'd be up first so we could talk."
I smiled a small smile. "Yeah, he's still sleeping," I said, pouring some Half and Half that was sitting on the table into my cup. "Were you worried about him?"
"Yeah. He called me last night," he said. "It sounded like he's having a rough time."
I paused, my cup halfway to my lips. My shoulders sagged and I felt the weight of the situation. I set my cup down. "This is just so hard. I never expected things to be this way. I wasn't prepared for this situation, especially so soon after reuniting with Calder." I paused. "He's not handling it well."
Xander shook his head. "I can't say I blame him. He's trapped again, pent up, feeling worthless."
I let out a breath. "What do I do?"
Xander looked out the window for a minute. "You could get away from here for a while."
"Oh God," Molly interrupted. "Carolyn would freak."
I groaned and put my face in my hands. When I looked up, I said, "I know, she would. But she doesn't want to share me with him either. And she still wants me to be twelve . . . or six . . . or, sometimes I don't even know."
Molly looked sympathetic. "Yeah, I know." She paused. "They both lived without you for a long, long time."