"Well I know it's true since I can only see a quarter of your face behind that flower, and I can still tell you're beautiful."
I looked over at him and he winked. I burst out laughing. "It's ridiculous, isn't it?" I finally managed.
Bentley reached out and moved it slightly and it sprang back to its original position. "Ouch," he said withdrawing his finger and frowning. "I think it just bit me."
I laughed harder, some of the tension and loneliness lifting, at least to a manageable level.
I chatted with Bentley, noting that once his eyes found Molly, they rarely moved away, and then I chatted with several of my mom's friends. I finally relaxed a little, although that same low buzz I'd felt deep in my blood ever since I'd first seen Calder yesterday never went away. Everyone was nice and welcoming and we all enjoyed dinner as early evening settled around us, the twinkle lights sparkling brighter and the heat lamps warming the cool air. I sat between Bentley and Molly, pretending to listen to their banter, but really my mind was focused on Calder. It was such a beautiful evening and I wanted to be spending it with him.
I snuck inside and checked my phone, but there was still no call. It was close to six, but I decided to wait to call him until the party was wrapping up and I was free to leave if he asked me to. He might not, Eden, and you have to prepare for that.
As dinner was cleared and dessert was being served, my mom made her way to the shaded area where the small, three-piece orchestra had been playing since the beginning of the party. A couple guys from the catering company set up a white screen behind her as she turned toward all the tables. Everyone grew quiet, turning to give her their attention.
"Thank you all so much for coming today," she said, smiling. "This last month has been," she brought a tissue to her eyes, "the happiest month of my life. I feel almost like I did when I first brought you home from the hospital." She laughed softly, staring in my direction. I smiled back softly at her. "I can't stop looking at you, marveling at your beauty, the miracle you're in my arms, that you're real." She sniffed, bringing the tissue to her nose. "I couldn't spend another minute without showing you off, just like I did then, to all those I love, my closest friends." She beamed at everyone sitting at the tables.
"Last week I started going through my old picture albums." She shook her head slightly. "I haven't been able to do that. All these years and I haven't been able to do that." She dabbed at her eyes again. "But looking through them brought me so much happiness. It reminded me that even though I didn't get all the years, I got some of them, and they were beautiful, just like you. I don't know what you were like when you were ten, or fourteen, or sixteen," she sniffled, "but I know what you're like at twenty-one, and I never, ever thought I would." She sniffled again and wiped her nose, a look of adoration on her face as she looked at me. I picked up a napkin and dabbed at my eyes. "And now we have the rest of our lives to make up for the time that was taken from us." She stood up taller and brought her shoulders back and smiled.
She looked over her shoulder and then moved off to the side of the big white screen as a picture of me as a baby came up behind her. I laughed softly, wiping my eyes as my own gummy smile stared back at me. More pictures came up: me as a toddler, two bottom teeth on display as I grinned, a piece of birthday cake oozing out of my chubby fist. I laughed and sniffled. I didn't remember ever looking at these photos—I didn't think I'd ever see pictures of myself as a child. There certainly would never be any from Acadia. My chest tightened.
More pictures scrolled through: the first day of school, my flaxen ponytails tied with pink ribbons, Christmases, me sitting on a pony at some kind of fair, both my mom and my dad in many of them, their arms around me. I didn't have any specific memories of those events, but just seeing what a happy childhood I had had, warmed me and brought with it a gratitude for where I was right that very minute, despite all I had lost.
I was loved. I had been loved all along. By my mother, and despite all his mistakes, by my father. And by Calder. All my life, someone had loved me. Not everyone got to say that. A deep peace settled through me and I knew that somehow, everything would be okay. I didn't know how, I didn't know why, the details were all a mystery as they always were, but sitting there in that sparkly, fragrant, festive garden, filled to overflowing with love, I knew. I might talk myself out of it later, but in that moment, I heard the whisper, and I knew.
And then he was standing there.
At the very edge of the garden, almost like he was a dream that had just materialized, he was wearing a pair of dark gray dress pants, and a white, button-down shirt with a darker tie. I stared and my lips parted in surprise as I watched him, a soft gathering of butterflies between my ribs. His hands were in his pockets and he walked closer as the slide show ended. Everyone around me started clapping, many of them wiping their eyes and smiling over at me. I looked around and smiled back and then returned my attention to Calder.