Finding Eden(48)

“Paul?” Jason asked softly as if something had just occurred to him.

“Hmm?”

“Has anyone ever taken care of you while you were sick?”

“And get sick too? That’s dumb.” Paul fought desperately for clarity and failed miserably. “Just gimme a few minutes. I’ll be okay.”

“Come here.”

The covers were pulled away, exposing Paul to more light than he wanted to deal with and he squinted against it as a cool hand cupped his cheek. He flinched from the gentle caress, reaching in vain for the covers to hide from the situation that was leaving him more than a little uncomfortable. Icy panic seized him when Jason was still hovering, seeming unwilling to let Paul be and heal on his own.

“Cooperate and I’ll let you go back to sleep.”

Looking frantically for Danny, Paul kicked at the sheets, intent to get to his feet and get away from Jason. “W-Where is he?” he gasped, needing something to ground him.

“He had to run some errands.”

“What?” Paul looked to the open bedroom door in panic when he realized Danny left him alone with this man. “I’m okay, really,” he said, jumping to his feet and promptly pitching forward. He would have landed on his face if Jason hadn’t caught him, grunting from the impact. Realizing he was in his arms, Paul pushed away, shuddering against his will. “I’m…” He paused, looking for an escape and spotted one when he saw the open bathroom. “I’ll be back.”

Paul shut the door with more force than necessary. He leaned against it, feeling the stitches in his back catch on the aged wood. The small stabs of pain were such a comfort he resisted the urge to slide down to the ground, knowing instinctively that ripping open the stitches would be something Danny may not forgive him for.

“Paul,” Jason said, his voice soft and concerned in a way that sent off every uncomfortable panic sensor Paul had. “What am I doing to upset you? Is there a reason you don’t like to be cared for?”

“Other submissives make me uncomfortable.” Paul felt his cheeks heat as he cursed the situation he found himself in. Usually he could live his life without revealing this hang-up his family had left him with. “They’re too accommodating, too nice.”

“You’re afraid they’ll be nice to you?” Jason’s voice ached as if just saying the words were painful. “You can’t deal with simple acts of kindness.”

“Nope,” Paul whispered, hating that he was laying his soul bare to a man who was practically a stranger, one he still wasn’t certain he even liked. “It’s usually not a big deal. It’s not like people are fussing over me in football, or in classes. I just gotta follow rules and everyone’s happy about it. Kindness is pretty easy to avoid, actually.”

There was a long, deafening silence and for a moment Paul was hopeful he’d become disgusted and left, but Jason finally sighed in defeat, still sounding heartsick. “How ’bout if I disinfect your back instead? I’ll make sure it hurts.”

Paul stood there, using the door to hold him on his feet. “Are you really a doctor?” he asked, because a doctor was an authority figure he could respect. “It’s not just a game?”

“Yes, I’m really a doctor,” he said, sounding in complete disbelief. “Don’t you remember me fixing your back?”

“I thought you had a medical kink,” Paul admitted, feeling his cheeks heat once more. “But I’m not comfortable playing with a switch, n-not without Danny around. I know he won’t go suddenly submissive.”

“Christ.”

“I’m sorry.” Paul felt the room spin, the fleeting grasp he had on reality slipping through his fingers. “I dunno what’s wrong with me. I’m still hazy. I need more time to pull myself together. I’m working on it.”

“You need to open the door and let me take care of you.”

Paul actually groaned out loud, feeling the same raw, uncomfortable feeling he experienced in the bedroom roll over him. He thought he might actually be sick from it. “I’ll be okay. If you just leave me alone, I’ll heal. I always do.”

“Open the goddamned door!”

Paul opened the door and stood back, running a hand over his face as he fought for a way to wake up and get the gears in his brain to start moving again. “Don’t tell Danny,” he said, hating the whiny sound in his voice. “I don’t know why I feel so—” He stopped before he said the word weak, not willing to give Jason that much. Knowing he was sounding like a broken record, he repeated, “I’ll be okay.”