“Christ, you’re shaking so hard, your teeth are rattling.”
“ It will go away.”
“Shit.” He stepped closer and took her in his arms. “Am I responsible for this?”
“Don’t flatter yourself.” But her arms closed around him. Warm. Safe. Here. Now. Alive.
“Deschamps?”
“ Not Deschamps.”
“ Then why the hell won’t you quit shaking?”
She buried her face in his shoulder. “ The smell.” Her voice was muffled. “ That woman in the church . . . That smell . . .”
He went still. “Christ, I didn’t make the connection. Your parents . . .”
“ It’s the first time since I came out that I felt any pull to go back into my nice little forest. I was so scared. . . . I wanted to go there. I felt so safe there.”
“ The hell you did.” His arms tightened around her. “ You were half dead. Now stop it. You’re not going anywhere.”
“Of course I’m not. It’s just . . . I had to work my way through it. I’m glad Jessica didn’t see me. It would have scared her silly.”
“ It scared me.”
“Did it?” The shaking was easing. “ You can let me go now.”
“Can I?” He didn’t move.
“ No, maybe not. This feels . . . good.”
“ Yes, it does.”
“You feel good.” Good and right. Completely right. All the tension was leaving her. “ Thank you.”
“ You’re welcome . . . I think.”
A few minutes passed and then Travis pushed her away. “ You’d better go in.”
Yes, she’d better leave him. This was too good. “ You can’t close me out again. We have to talk about Deschamps.”
She could feel the tension in his body. “ Not now, Melissa.”
No, not now, she thought wearily. Too much to think about. Too many emotions to sort out. She backed away. “ In the morning.”
He glanced at the sky. “ That won’t be too long.”
She looked at the streaks of pearl gray lighting the night sky. “Jessica loved this time of day. She said when she was an intern she’d walk through the park when she finished her duty. Everything was so clear and bright and new, it made her able to face the next night.”
“Jessica would want you to be safe.”
She shook her head. “Don’t try to manipulate me by using Jessica. Good night, Travis. I’m sorry I put you at risk.”
“ You could have saved my neck. You’re not all that gullible, so that woman must have been good. I might have fallen for her story too.”
She thought about it and then smiled. “ You’re absolutely right. You should be damn grateful to me.”
She went to her bedroom, where Galen was sitting beside Cassie. She put her finger to her lips and motioned for him to go. He nodded and silently left. She lay down next to Cassie and closed her eyes.
“You left me,” Cassie said.
“Not for long.”
“I was lonely.”
“Then come out and you’ll never be lonely again.”
Silence. “You were scared. You wanted to run back to your forest.”
How had Cassie picked up on that? “But I didn’t do it. I’ll never go back there again.”
“You could come into my tunnel.”
“But you won’t be there for long.”
“You keep saying that.”
“Because it’s true. Isn’t it?”
Silence. “You truly don’t want to go back?”
“Why should I? Look at me. What do you see?”
Silence. “I’m going to go to sleep now.”
“Stubborn.”
“But you were scared. I saw it.”
“And what else did you see?”
“Michael. I saw Michael. . . .”
Melissa lay awake a long time after Cassie drifted off to sleep.
Would you have shed a few tears for me?
I saw Michael. . . .
22
Travis’s door opened a few hours later.
He tensed.
“ It’s only me,” Melissa said.
“Only?” He rose up on one elbow. “ What are you doing here?”
“ I wanted to be with you.”
“Do you want to talk about your parents?”
“ Not now.”
“Deschamps?”
“ I don’t need a therapist, Travis.” She came toward him. “ That’s not what this is all about.”
He went still. “ Then what the hell is it about?”
“ What do you think?”
“ I think you’d better be very clear.”
“ You want clear?” She paused to steady her voice. “ I’ll give you clear.” She stopped beside the bed. “ I’m going to get undressed. I see you’re already naked, and that’s very convenient.” She pulled her nightshirt over her head and dropped it to the floor. “ Now I’m going to get into bed with you. Then I want you to indulge in every carnal act you’ve ever learned or heard of.” She drew back the cover. “ Is that clear enough?”