He frowned.
“I know what you’re thinking. Yes, it was a risk and yes, it could backfire and keep her in that tunnel for the rest of her life.” Her hand was shaking and she steadied it as she brought her cup to her lips. “That’s my nightmare.”
“I don’t know if I would have taken the chance.”
“She’s a fighter. It’s her nature. She just has to be forced back into the battle.”
“How can you be sure she won’t have the nightmares?”
“I’m not sure. She could still will herself to have them. But I’m hoping that the suggestion I planted will take root. I’ll reinforce it every time I’m with her. After that, we can only wait and see.” She put her cup down. “She’ll probably try her damnedest to do anything I tell her not to do. She’s not very fond of me right now.”
“And you could be wrong.”
“Yes, but if I’m right, I’ll make her face her demons and bring her back. I’m stronger than she is now, and I’m growing stronger every day. I’ll nag her and block her at every turn.”
“Tough love?”
“I do love her. You can’t imagine how close I am to her. She’s like . . . my other self.” She closed her eyes. “I know I’m being hard, but I have to make her come out. For her sake and for Jessica. You see, I have one more advantage Jessica didn’t have with me. I’ll do whatever I have to do.” She opened her eyes, now stinging with tears. “Because I’m no saint like her, Travis.”
“You don’t have to be like her.” He covered her hand on the table. “You do fine on your own.”
“I hope so.” His grasp felt warm and comforting, and she let herself take that comfort for a moment before she moved her hand away. “I hope I’m not rushing Cassie because I want to use her to get Andreas to help with Deschamps.”
“I don’t think you are.”
“But neither of us is sure.” She pushed back her chair. “I’m going for a short walk on the beach before I wake Cassie and give her supper.”
“I’ll do it.”
She shook her head. “My job.”
“I don’t mind helping. Are you closing me out?”
“If I’ve really managed to get rid of the nightmares, then you’re closed out anyway. You should be glad there’s a chance your responsibility is over.”
“It’s not over. It’s just shifted.” He grimaced. “And I’m not at all comfortable with it. I prefer to be an observer.”
“I’ve noticed that. Then maybe you’re living in a tunnel as much as Cassie is.”
He smiled. “Maybe I am. It’s an interesting thought. Do you see any other similarities between me and the kid?”
“Oh, yes. But you’re more complicated. It would be difficult to—” She stopped and looked at him. He was sitting there, still smiling, and yet she could sense . . . what? Pain? Loneliness? She wasn’t sure, but he had once again been kind to her. She wanted to do something, but she wasn’t even sure what. “ I’m . . . sorry your friend died.” The words came haltingly. “And I’m sorry I was ugly about it. Since you don’t let many people close to you, it must have hurt you very much to lose him.”
“Yes, it did.”
“Perhaps you’ll tell me about him sometime.”
“Sometime.”
Because the pain was too deep and he wasn’t a man to show his feelings.
“Did he know you loved him? Did you tell him?”
“No, I didn’t tell him. But I think he knew.”
“Good. That was one rule I made for myself after Jessica brought me back. Life’s too short not to have every emotion out in the open. If someone deserves love, then they deserve to know they have it.”
“ That’s a very perilous philosophy.”
“ It’s more perilous not to tell someone they’re loved. I would have regretted it all my life if Jessica hadn’t known I—” She cleared her throat to rid it of huskiness and headed for the door. “ I won’t be long. I just need to clear my head. Thirty minutes or so . . .”
She walked very fast along the beach, her back straight and her head high.
She looked like a soldier going into battle, Travis thought.
She’s a fighter.
They were the words she had used to describe Cassie, but they also applied to Melissa. A scarred warrior going forth to fight Cassie’s monsters.
What the hell was he doing standing there watching her? She was absorbing entirely too much of his attention, when he needed to focus on getting himself out of this mess and going after Deschamps. He couldn’t even give lust as an excuse, although that had been there between them from the beginning. How could you lust after a woman who made you want to heal and protect at the same time? Come on, admit it, he was a man and, hell, yes, he wanted to get her in bed. It didn’t matter that she was hurting and he was torn with compassion. Maybe because sex was the safest relationship he could have with her. Anything else would involve him in ways that could change his life, and he had long ago opted out of the path she was traveling. He didn’t need to let himself in for the role of knight trailing at the heels of a damsel fending off dragons.