I breathed deeply and turned my face towards the sun with the heat now touching my cheek. I had a few more days and I was going to make the most out of my time.
I stopped off at various places along the way, talking to complete strangers with the words of my fantasy lover continually echoing in my ears. A stranger was only a person that you haven’t met. I learned that they all had stories and I lived vicariously through each and every word. I even stayed in this little old ladies house, so that I could listen to stories of her late husband, a war hero that had seen his life snatched away from him at an early age. She never remarried and she confessed that she believed that there was nobody out there that could hold a candle to the one that got away.
I stayed with her for about two days and then I moved on and found this farmer couple that was just making inroads into a new marriage. This guy was handsome and I could tell from the way that he was looking at me that there was interest. The word fidelity didn’t mean much to me before, but it did now. I did nothing to encourage his advances. I ignored his wandering eyes and I did not call him on his behavior when I caught him staring at me, as I came out of the shower with only a towel wrapped around me.
I left there and I was on my way back home with the window down and a country song playing on the radio. I wasn’t into the genre of country music, but the lyrics seemed to make sense to me like they hadn’t before. Lost love and jilted love was the common theme. One in particular talked about a man that had come into a woman’s life and left her to wonder if anybody else would be able to make her feel the way that she did on that one day.
I saw a lone female hitchhiker with long flaxen hair blowing in the breeze. I knew that she was only asking for trouble. No doubt a man would try to take advantage of her and I thought that it was my duty as a woman to make sure that didn’t happen. I pulled over and I waited with bated breath, hoping against hope that he she wouldn’t appear with some kind of knife with an ultimatum.
“You have no idea how long I have been waiting. I don’t know how to thank you.” I found out that her name was Rebecca and that she had run from an abusive relationship with only emotional scars to keep her from moving on.
“I want you to remember that not all men are like that. There are some good ones and I was fortunate enough to meet one and then let him go.” She slapped her hand up to her mouth in shock and then I told her my story and she listened intently, until I had come to the end of my tale. “That man was strong and confident, but I’m glad that I didn’t do anything to ruin what could be the love of his life. Some may think that what happens on the road is fair game. The likelihood of meeting again is slim. He was not of that same sentiment and it touches me deeply that he would even consider me that much a threat.”
“Penny, I don’t know you all that well, but it was probably a good thing that you didn’t throw caution to the wind. Trust me, I’ve been down that road to many times to count and it always leads to heartbreak hotel. They say that they’re going to leave the one they are with, but their intention is just to get laid. I will say that older guys know how to seduce with not only their eyes but their words. It’s their sophistication and experience that makes it impossible for us to pull away at the last second. I have to give it up for your mystery man with the initial A. There aren’t all that many men out there that would deny themselves the possibility of stripping you of your clothes and putting you into, so many positions that it would be hard for you to keep track.”
If I were into women, I would most likely make a play for her. She did have the kind of body that would have a lot of guys vying for her affection by beating each other to death. The last one standing would be the victor and the spoils of war would fall into his grateful hands.
“You have said that you have done this a few times, but would you do it again if you had a chance to do it all over? Don’t you think that you would have a little bit more self respect for yourself than to give yourself freely to those men that caught your eye?” I only asked these questions, because my own sex drive was at an all time high and I needed something to curb my appetite for cock.
“There are a few that I would take back, but for the most part, I’ve lived my life the exact way that I wanted to. I’ve never regretted anything and I’ve always played safely. In this day and age, you would be a damn fool not to and the one thing that my mother didn’t raise was a fool.” We talked for some time and then we finally made it to this small fruit stand on the side of the road. I could see that her main interest was with a young man with a shaven face and stubble on his head. He had that military look in his eyes.
I left that roadside stand on my own and was somewhat jealous of her ability to throw away the rule book. She did what she wanted and didn’t have anybody to answer to. I didn’t think that the man that she was going to be with was going to be long-term. She was still sowing her oats and leaving bodies in her wake from one end of the highway to the other. She would leave them with a memory and maybe a token of her gratitude. I wanted to be like her, but I felt like I had something to prove to myself by waiting. I had this feeling that my mother’s freedom with her body had made me a little reluctant to go down that same destructive road.
I sat there at the edge of my street after another few hours of driving with my hands on the steering wheel and wondering if maybe it would be a good idea to turn around and go back the way that I came. My new job was another 200 miles away. I already put a down payment on apartment sight unseen.
I finally gave myself the encouragement needed to face my mother. I stepped from the truck and knocked on the door with it swinging open to find that her husband to be was the one that had given such good and nasty dirty talk a few nights ago. We both looked at each other and had to prevent any kind of recognition.
Chapter four
“You took your time getting here and I was getting a little worried that maybe you were in a ditch somewhere. I was close to calling out the authorities.” My mother was always a bit of a worrywart or at least she pretended to be when other people were around. “You could’ve given me a call and you really did put a good scare into me. Angel was here to tell me that I should give you some room to breathe and that you probably just got lost in your thoughts or something like that.” I tried not to look at him, but it was very difficult when I continually glanced to make sure that this wasn’t a figment of my imagination.
“Your mother tells me that you have been dabbling with journalism. What branch are you interested in?” How he was able to talk without cracking his voice was a mystery that was only known to him. “I have a few connections that might make it easier to open up some doors for you. My business ventures are mostly real estate, but I do own a couple of radio stations.” That was my dream job to be a producer and the creative force behind any kind of advertisement that would be heard on that station. I wasn’t sure how I could justify taking him up on his offer without wondering if there were strings attached to the proposal.
“Your new stepfather is reaching out and I want you to give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s only trying to help and this is in no way to ingratiate himself into your life. I know that our relationship has been strained, but I would like to make amends and see if we can’t find a way past our differences.” My mother had never shown this kind of interest in opening up the path of communication between the two of us. I could only surmise that this was Angel’s doing and what a fitting name for a man that seemed like he had come down from heaven built from the blueprints of what a man was supposed to look like and act like.
I was feeling a little short of breath and I touched my forehead to feel the heat of what might have come from the farmer’s wife. She was under the weather the last might that I was there and I was now showing symptoms of the same flu that had afflicted her.
“It’s been a long drive and I will certainly take your proposition into consideration. For now, I would really like to lie down.” I didn’t tell her that I was sick and she was oblivious to me being sick when I was growing up. It was always my grandmother that would sit with me, but she had passed away a couple of years ago, leaving me to fend for myself. It was a hard lesson to learn, but one that gave me the strength of character to strike out and not let my mother belittle me into thinking that I wasn’t worth investing in.
“I have to get to work.” It was only 8:00 AM and my mother was already out the door before I had a chance to say anything more.
“You have to forgive your mother and I convinced her that it would be a good idea for her to put in her notice.” It appeared that she was only pretending to work and this was the girl that had never held down a job a day in her life. Where was she going and was it possible that her affections for Angel were not as deep as I was led to believe? “If you don’t mind me saying so, you don’t look well.” The room was spinning and I fell back into his arms. He carried me like a fireman would a victim outside of a house.
He kicked in the door with his masculine body hovering over me, as he lowered me onto a bed that wasn’t mine. I looked around and the room was the same, but everything else had changed. My childhood memories were boxed up in a corner and she turned my room into a guest room.