My mind already moved forward to decorating one of my rooms for the baby and then I saddened as I pictured not having Tory there was well.
We agreed to have dinner this week before I made my way back to the party and she cleaned herself up from crying with me.
My heart was twisted as I drove home that night, not sure of what to do. I wanted Tory and the baby, but I was fearful of telling her father and losing the job I’d worked so hard for.
CHAPTER 9
Tory
Seeing James broke me. I was so strong until I met his green eyes. I was staying away from him to protect him after finding out that my wish had come true.
I’d never forget the day I took the test. I was so excited, and when I saw the positive result, I wanted to scream.
Then reality set in, and I knew that James would lose his job for a baby that he didn’t plan. We were casual lovers, nothing more. He wouldn’t want his entire future ruined by a baby with me.
I ignored his calls and texts as I cried alone in my bed. I played the strong woman for everyone else, pushing through my lies to my parents as Dad ranted on and on and Mom cried.
How could their brilliant daughter be so careless? How could I slip up this way? I’d never admit that I stopped taking my birth control pills towards the end of my affair with James, wanting this until I actually had it.
Mom was accepting of it now and even getting excited. She couldn’t wait to find out what the baby was so she could plan for it and start buying things in earnest.
Dad was sullen, but I knew that he loved me. I tried to show him that I had this together every day as I continued about my life with a child growing inside of my stomach. I knew that he’d come through at the end, but now that I’d agreed to see James again, I couldn’t help but worry. I knew that I still had feelings for him, and I didn’t know where we’d end up.
A big part of me hoped that I’d be in his bed soon. I was horny as hell, and my hand wasn’t enough anymore. I wasn’t about to sleep with some random guy to satisfy my needs, not with this baby inside of me. I deserved the best. I knew that sex would be hell on my emotions, but my pussy ached for him every night, and I cursed that part of pregnancy. I had a great thing with James and I hated giving it up.
I made my way back to the party with my make-up fixed and a smile on my face. It was hard not to move towards James, towards the pull that he had on me. I just talked with everyone and played the part of the owner’s daughter. I acted excited about the baby and kept the tears at bay until I was in my room that night, alone under my covers.
The next day I received a text. Dinner was at his house, just like before. I smiled when he asked me just what I wanted, making sure that it met his requirements for being healthy. I was obsessively healthy with this pregnancy.
I wore a pair of capris and a t-shirt, since I was supposed to be studying with friends. It was casual on the surface, but there was a heat that filled the room as he ordered in some big salads and poured me some ice water.
James drilled me about every aspect of the pregnancy as I answered his questions in between bites of food. He’d already done this in texts and calls and it was sweet somewhere under all of the obsessive nature of it. But hell, I was still obsessed with him.
Yes, I was eating healthy. No, I never had any real morning sickness, which made it a bit tougher to figure out for me. It wasn’t a problem to keep going to school and I’d be taking a little time off when the baby was here. It was all planned out…without James being involved. I wasn’t losing my future in all of this and I didn’t want him to, either.
Were my brothers pissed off? Livid, actually. I never revealed who the father was, claiming a stupid drunken night at a party so they never had a face to attach their rage to. Now they were warming up to the idea of being uncles and helping me raise the baby, which I wasn’t certain about quite yet.
We ended that night with just a kiss, though I wanted to rip his clothes off with my bare hands. He was sexy and the way that he wanted to take care of me was more of a turn on than I ever could’ve imagined.
The next time I was there though, I attacked him. I told him all about what the hormones did to me between hungry kisses and his fingers moved to ease my ache as his lips claimed mine. Sex had never felt so good and I begged him for it again and again, throwing us right back into the affair that we’d started.
I rode him once I assured him that sex wouldn’t hurt the baby. He took me from behind when I wanted it rough and hard and found ways to make missionary some of the hottest sex that I’d ever had. I made the visits to his house more than once a week once I realized that I’d found the itch to my deep scratch.
Once we found out the baby was a girl, he started shopping. I went with my mom to find out, still sticking with my secret and James cried when I called him as soon as I could to tell him.
He made such a beautiful room for her and I snuggled close to him in bed as looked down at my growing belly. We hadn’t decided to tell my parents yet and I felt like I was living a lie, in some ways. I wanted to tell them that I was happy and falling in love with him though I was acting like I was doing this on my own. I lied every time that I was with him, telling them something about school or studying. I knew that it was affecting my grades and my life and after two months of seeing each other behind everyone’s back, I looked at him in bed one night.
“I hate this. I want to tell them so bad, but Dad is just getting excited about her,” I told him as I rubbed my bare belly. Thanks to my hormones, I focused on sex more than talking and when we did talk, it was about the baby. We didn’t deal with anything else, staying inside of our bubble when we were together. “He’s going to kill both of us when he finds out and we won’t know our daughter at all.”
“Baby, I can quit as a coach. I have money saved up, and I can start a business to support us,” James told me as I looked at him. “I’ll tell him. I’ll ask for your hand in marriage.”
“He’ll kill you. We can’t tell him now.” I sighed and rested my head against his shoulder. “When did this get so complicated?”
“It wasn’t planned,” he assured me as I looked down at the sheets.
“I messed up with my pill. I think that I’m at fault.” I knew about his divorce and the details now, and I felt guilty, knowing what he went through with that. I didn’t know too much about it at all before the pregnancy. “I don’t want to trap you like this.”
“I’m happy with you, Tory. I don’t mind that this happened,” James assured me as I stared at him. “I could’ve walked away once I found out about her, but I didn’t. I want to be in your life.”
“Are you sure?” I asked as I read his expression. He was giving up everything for our daughter and me.
“Yes. We’ll work through this.” James kissed my head as I closed my eyes. I always fell asleep here, and I was glad that my parents didn’t pay that much attention to me at night, even though they grew more concerned as the pregnancy moved forward. I was always home when they woke up in the morning.
Around the sixth and a half month mark, they started to call me more and more if I was out late. I felt worse lying now and I’d go home earlier, taking time away from James. I knew that he was trying to focus on the beginning of the season in a few weeks and that the team was working hard to prepare. I knew that my absence bothered him since he was as worried as my parents were behind the scenes.
I didn’t want to be a burden and I reconsidered us telling my parents all over again, though I’d have to either way. He’d want to see his daughter whether or not we were together. James was going to be an excellent father and I’d never take that away from him.
We started to fight as I stayed home more and more. I was getting more tired as my stomach grew and school work was dragging me down more now. I talked to James and texted him as much as I could, but he said that wasn’t enough. My hormones agreed and I made a point of going over on the weekends to try and pacify the situation.
I wanted to make everyone happy and it was taking everything out of me. I couldn’t wait to be on a break from school and be able to focus on all of the other chaos in my life.
CHAPTER 10
Jame
I was relieved when Tory agreed to see me again, not at all surprised that we began to sleep together immediately. We already had a strong pull, and she was pregnant, so it seemed natural. I didn’t want her with anyone else, and she assured me that she did not want anyone else.
That happened after I questioned whether or not the baby was mine. Tory was pissed and threw a glass across my kitchen, reminding me not to mess with her out of balance hormones. She insisted that there was nobody but me and how could I think that there ever could be?
She was a firecracker when mad as well as in bed, and I was falling in love with her. I let the issue of us go for a few months after we got back together to keep her relaxed, but I knew that I couldn’t do it forever. I needed to know that she and my daughter were going to be a part of my life.
I didn’t even tell her that I loved her and she never said the words to me, though I was sure that it showed in the way that we looked at each other. It was in the way that we loved each other behind closed doors. It was in the way that I hoped out daughter looked a little more like Tory than she did me, because her mother was beautiful.