She looked like she was going to cry, and I understood it. It was terrifying. I was forty and telling my friend and business partner that I had gotten his daughter pregnant wouldn't be easy, but it was the right thing to do. I wanted to do right by Megan.
"When are you going to tell him?"
I shook my head. "I don't know. Not today. I will soon, though. But today it's just you and me.
Chapter 13: Brian
Fashion shows are hard work for everyone involved. There are people that do more than others, like the dressers and the stylists and the designers and those responsible for the venue, but there are also those that behind the scenes.
I was a partner that had started up a modeling agency and I even ran around on a fashion show. I tried to get out of it but most of the time there was just too much to do and not enough people to do it.
Megan wasn't going to attend this one, thank God. I'd spoken to her doctor and he'd given her the advice that she had to take off instead of attend. The pressure was far too much for her condition with the baby and she wasn't even that far along yet - problems got worse the closer it was to the birth. I didn't want complications now.
Lisa was too hard on her, the pressure was insane and she was emotional, hormonal and unsure about being pregnant to start off with.
I ran around trying or organize the models and where they needed to be, making sure that Megan's replacement filled her shoes the right way. When there was time to take a breath I made my way outside where the smokers stood. I didn't smoke but I liked being somewhere people forced themselves to take a break. Smokers have no choice - addiction is an ugly business - but how many of us that don't have the bad habit of smoking will take that time to recuperate for five minutes at various intervals throughout the day? It's good to regroup.
Tom came outside a moment later. He looked stressed out. I stood a short distance away from the smokers to avoid the actual smoke, and he came to stand with me.
"It's a madhouse in there."
I nodded. "It always is. Occupational hazard."
He stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I'm glad Megan was booked off for this one. I'm really starting to worry about her. I'm scared something will happen."
I didn't answer. I didn't want to say too much and sound concerned where I shouldn't be. The fact that Tom was worried was news to me, though. Of course, he cared about her well-being, but going by what Megan had told me about the argument between them Tom didn't want her to keep the baby if she wasn't in a place to look after the child herself.
"How do you feel about the baby?" I asked. We hadn't had a chance to talk in the past couple of weeks, and before that I'd been avoiding him.
Tom shrugged. "There's not really much of a choice. She's going to keep the child so there's nothing I can do. I think she's making a mistake, though."
I frowned. "Why?"
"Because she's just out of school, she has nothing to her name - no career or reputation or money - and she's going through this alone. That scumbag that got her pregnant would do better than just leaving her to go through it alone."
I swallowed and a fist of nerves grabbed my gut and twisted a little.
"Of course, I understand why she wants to keep the child, and being a new parent is the most wonderful thing. I just wish her circumstances were different."
I nodded. These were the standard worries of a parent. I cleared my throat.
"I wanted to talk to you about something." I had to do it now or I would never get the courage to. Megan needed me and I had to be there for her. I couldn't keep hiding it - it would prevent me from doing what I needed to do.
Tom looked at me. "God, I hope it's good news. I could do with some right now. '
I swallowed hard. I was going to be a hell of a killjoy.
"I'm the baby's father." The words were out there and the tension in my body clamped down even more. It felt like time froze. I waited for the reaction. This was the moment of truth.
Tom frowned. "What?" He looked confused.
"I slept with Megan. I'm the baby's father."
Tom's face was a blank for a moment before what I said dawned on him. His eyes laughed at first like I was making a joke, but when I didn't retort with 'Naw, just kidding', the laughter drained and anger set in.
"What the fuck?"
I nodded, looking at my shoes for a second. "I know. But I want you to know that I'm planning on caring for her and giving her the life she deserves. If there's anyone that can do that, it's me."
"You bastard!" Tom launched at me, remembered we had an audience and stopped before he did any damage to my face. I was aware of his hand curled into a fist. "How could you do that to me?"
I took a deep breath, still struggling to fathom how close I'd been to a broken nose. "It wasn't planned if that's what you mean. It just happened. But I plan on taking responsibility for her."
Tom opened his mouth like he wanted to say something. He was so angry, though, he couldn't, and instead of having an outburst like I knew he wanted to he turned around and walked away. It was the epitome of self-control. I had to respect his ability. I didn't respect his space, though.
I followed him. I needed to have this out now, once and for all, or I would never have the courage again to talk about it.
"I'm all in with this, Tom. I love her."
He froze, his back to me. I tried to decode it - his stiff neck, his tense shoulders. When he turned around he had fire in his eyes.
"You knock her up and you want to tell me you love her?"
I pushed through. "I didn't when it happened but I've been spending more time with her and I do. I've fallen in love with her. She's a stunning person and she will be a great mother. And I would like to stand by her and be the father the child deserves, the man she deserves. You know me, Tom. You who I am. You said yourself I'm a man of integrity."
"I was talking about the damn company when I said that!" He threw his hands up in the air. "I wasn't talking about you sleeping with my daughter and then being with her."
I reached into my pocket and pulled out the black velvet box that had been nagging at me since the beginning of the night. I opened it and showed Tom the ring.
"I intend to marry her, Tom. She's not just a floozy to me. She's everything. I want her to be everything. You said I can build an empire with the business, you said you trusted me to do the right thing."
Tom shook his head, looking over my shoulder. "It's still not the same thing, Brian. My company versus my daughter? How can you compare the two?"
I nodded. "I understand, but I want you to know that I intend on doing right by her and never disappointing you as a father."
Tom looked at the ring again. He sighed and his shoulders sagged. "I can't say this is what I would have chosen for her, but if it's what she wants..." He looked up at me. "She's old enough to decide for herself so if she's happy I'm happy. But if you do anything to hurt her, I swear to God I will kill you with my own two hands. I'm not exaggerating."
I nodded. I knew he wasn't.
Chapter 14: Megan
I didn't go to work anymore. I accepted that I was too far along with the pregnancy to keep going at the pace the fashion world asked for, and I wasn't going to be able to hide it, anyway. Besides that, I was letting Brian pay for things the way he wanted to. I'd accepted that he was going to be in my life. It wasn't what I'd ever imagined would happen, but it wasn't a bad thing.
Brian was kind and caring and honest and dedicated. I could see why my dad wanted him as a business partner. I imagined he would be just as committed as a life partner.
I wanted to be a part of the fashion world even though I couldn't work there. When he visited me he told me things about what happened at the office and I ate it up. When there were fashion shows I read about them in magazines or papers and I started attending them as a guest.
Tonight was another one of those. The show was in a conference center that had been turned into an extravaganza. It was barely recognizable. It was one of the biggest shows of the year and everyone involved was going mad with stress and panic. I was relieved I wasn't a part of it. I was six months along, swelling by the day and I was perpetually tired or in tears or both.
I made my way to the seats and sat down where Brian had reserved one for me. When I attended he made sure I could sit in the front row with him so that I wouldn't miss a thing. I developed a new love for fashion seeing things from this vantage point and I realized that even if I wasn't in the back working my fingers to the bone I wanted to be involved with the fashion world somehow.
The seats were filling up. Background music filtered through the air, laced with the chatter of the already-seated guests and an excitement about the upcoming show that was addictive. I looked around, hoping to catch a glimpse of Brian. My dad walked past and waved at me before moving on. I waved back. What would he think if he saw me sitting next to Brian? He wasn't usually at the shows. Lately, he'd been doing a lot more paperwork and a lot less schmoozing.
The show started and it was spectacular. It was swimsuits and lingerie and the designers had come up with some next level garments that would take the fashion world by storm. I could almost tell what the articles would say.
Brian appeared a little late and sat down next to me.
"Sorry, there was so much to do," he said. I squeezed his hand and we watched the show together.
When the designer came out after the line was presented he waved.