“So good. You feel so good.” I lowered my lips to hers and kissed her, pressing our bodies together. Her pussy tightened around me as she moaned, her tongue soft against mine. “I missed you.”
We fucked hard and rough before she came a second before me. I felt all her heat and jerked as I came inside her, combining us into one as we both moaned. I never wanted to be inside her covered again, and I fell against her body as I worked her shirt lose to cup her breast over the lace of her bra. I knew that when I pulled out, I would leak from her, and I didn’t want that. I needed to remain inside her. I had a fleeting glimpse of her belly swollen with my child in my mind, and I sucked in my breath.
What the fuck was I thinking?
I reluctantly pulled out, covering her with my hand to keep myself inside her. Lily looked at me as she breathed deeply, as if to ask what I was doing. Her stomach growled, breaking the ice with following her giggle as I dropped against her body. “Are you worried about a mess?”
“God, no,” I told her as I looked into her eyes. “I’ll get the food and we can eat here. Okay?”
“Perfect.” I locked the office door before walking back over with the bag, unloading the food, and placing it on the floor. We each grabbed a fork, opening everything and taking bites of things as she looked at me with curious eyes.
“This happened again.”
“Are you going to run off?” I asked her gently as she chewed a piece of chicken slowly. “Why did you do it the first time?”
Lily looked around the office slowly before she gave me a long stare. “I was scared. I work with you and I have someone in my life.”
I swallowed the noodles I’d been chewing and stared at the bottle of beer on my desk. “That worked when we were just a one-time thing, perhaps. We both wanted it this time, sober and well aware of what we were doing. I saw the way you went right for my cock.”
Her cheeks flushed pink, and she frowned as she stared at the floor. “It’s like I can’t control myself around you, but I don’t know if that’s the right thing. I need this job and the future it provides me. I can’t risk that for sex.”
“This isn’t just sex, Lily. It’s more than that for me, and I can take care of your future. I can take care of you,” I promised her as she ran a hand through her hair.
“I…I don’t know. What if we don’t last? Is it worth the risk?” Her voice was soft, and she looked at me, showing me the future I’d attempted with Nadine. As I stared into Lily’s beautiful face, I realized it had never been there with her.
“Yes. You remind me of the way I felt with my first wife,” I assured her as she stared into a container of food. “I can take care of you. I can make you happy.”
“I worked hard for this job, not to be taken care of,” she told me as she stared at me. “I am not that kind of girl.”
“Lily,” I said as she moved off the couch and adjusted her clothes. “Don’t do this again.”
“I think we got a lot done, don’t you?” She slipped her shirt into her skirt and smoothed her hands down the material. “I mean, we can call it a night and return to this on Monday.” I heard the shakiness of her voice as I set my food down and stood up.
“Stop this. Don’t leave me again. Give this a chance,” I told her as I cupped her face and kissed her, tasting the food as our tongues danced together. I didn’t let her move away, and I slipped her clothes off again as she melted against me. I held her close as she pushed me to the couch, where she rode my cock as I gripped her hips and guided her over me.
She didn’t look at me when we were done. She rolled off me and back onto the couch, closing her eyes, as I reached for her. “I can’t believe that happened again.”
I watched her dress after she regained her senses, and I didn’t try to stop her this time. I could see that Lily was determined to go this time, and I felt an emptiness settle in my heart. “You don’t have to do this,” I told her as she gave me a sad look.
“I don’t want this with you. I don’t know that I want it with Brian, but there’s too much going on between us. I can’t do this,” Lily said as she reached for her purse.
“Let me walk you to the car,” I insisted, standing and dressing. “It’s the fucking least I can do, Lily.”
“Fine,” she said as I grabbed my keys and left the food on the floor, her eyes on me.
Lily
“Aren’t you going to take that?” I asked him as he cast a dark look around the room.
“They’ll clean it this weekend,” Landon murmured, making me shiver. He could be so warm and passionate one moment and so cold the next, making my heart ache as I looked at him.
I wanted him. I knew that, yet I still pushed him away, too scared to face my own feelings. I was clinging to Brian, or at least the idea that we had something of a future together. I couldn’t even consider the idea of risking my dream job for an affair that could burn out in no time at all, even though I knew we could both feel the heat between us. I was lost in my thoughts as he cleared his throat, making me glance up at him. “Ready?” The defeat in his voice was evident, and I nodded slowly.
“Sure.” I left first, the night playing through my mind as he shut off the light and pulled the door closed. We were silent as we walked to the elevator. Wasn’t I in his lap an hour ago, coming as I cried his name? Didn’t I try to leave once before I went back for more, something I wanted again right now? Warmth flooded my skin at the thought.
We rode the car down to the garage, where he led me to my car and stared me down. I saw the want in his gaze, but more than that, I saw the rejection. “Drive safe, Lily. I’ll see you on Monday.” I nodded and slipped into my car, feeling tears slide down my face as he walked away toward his SUV. I knew I was letting an amazing man slip away from me, but I was powerless to stop it as I started my car to leave. I still felt the slickness between my legs as I shifted in my seat, caring more about Landon than I did about the fact that I was ruining my skirt.
I made my way home, crying in the shower as I rinsed away all traces of Landon from my body. I still felt the tingle between my thighs from the sex we’d had, but that would fade with time. It would all fade with time, and I hoped I would stop crying before Monday.
I stayed in bed the rest of the weekend, dozing and regretting leaving Landon at the office. Part of me wanted him to reach out to me, but my phone was silent on my counter. I did hear from Brian and had dinner with him on Sunday, declining his invitation to spend the night at his apartment. I lied and said that I needed to be at work early on Monday. Everything that had happened over the last month or so made me doubt my feelings for him. I was confused, and I tossed and turned in my bed as I tried to sort through my conflicting emotions.
I thought about the first time I slept with Landon, as well as the last two. They all had one thing in common: pure heat. It was a heat I didn’t want to deny myself as I dragged myself out of bed and showered. I pulled on a black skirt and a black silk T-shirt, pulling my hair back into a low ponytail before I put on a small amount of makeup.
I drove to the office blankly, unaware that I was there until I was parked and looking around. Everyone was walking in, and I sipped my coffee slowly as I contemplated going home. I didn’t want to be here.
I got out and walked to the building, entering the elevator quietly and moving to the back as Lauren slipped inside before the door closed. I didn’t want her to know about my mistake; it was not for the whole office to discuss. She left before me, striding to her section of the building as I slowly made my way to my desk. “Shit.” I forgot my coffee in the car. I locked up my purse and warmed up my computer before heading toward the break room. I noticed Landon walking toward me, and I took him in with remorseful eyes as he stared at his phone until he was at his door. “Good morning.” He glanced at me with a dismissive gaze as he opened his door to walk inside. It didn’t take much to notice the dark mark on his neck, high and near his jaw, and I pressed my lips together.
Landon moved on quickly. I didn’t even have sex with my boyfriend at all this weekend.
Landon left every day for lunch, and we barely worked together inside his office that week. It was all emails and brief texts, making me crazy with need. I wanted to talk to him like we used to, see his gorgeous eyes. I wanted him to look at me the way he had the times we’d been together. But I convinced myself that this was best for both of us.
Even after telling myself that all week, I broke up with Brian Friday night. I did it over the phone, not even going to dinner or his apartment. I just told him before leaving work and then went home alone, wondering what Landon was doing. I knew I had let myself get carried away with him, that this was my fault. I deserved all the suffering I was going through, as well as the guilt. Brian wasn’t a bad guy at all, just young. He didn’t deserve what I had done to him with my boss. I know deep down that was why I had ended it with Brian.
Through all of it, I was going to keep my job. My future was in my hands, and I was going to succeed at my career, even if it was in a place where I had made so many mistakes.