“Can we see her?” Declan asked as she frowned thoughtfully.
“I think that she needs a bit of time to herself. I’m so sorry. I know that it’s been a long week for all of you but Mallory is distraught right now. I am going to send someone in from psych to talk to her about it but perhaps you should all return tomorrow.” Her brown eyes were very apologetic as Declan turned on his heel to leave the hospital. He hurried through the heavy glass doors as they opened and blinked in the bright sun violently.
How could it be like this outside when his life was falling apart? He ripped his messy hair down from the band that held it back and strode to his car with shaking hands.
Declan drove to the one place that he knew he could escape this. Once he’d parked the car, Declan walked into the dim light of his former favorite bar with a sigh of relief in the darkness. This is what he craved. “Hey, stranger,” Keagan called from behind the bar with his familiar warm smile as Declan looked over. “Where have you been?”
“I don’t know.” Decline replied as Keagan took a closer look at him. “The usual, Keg. I need some liquor in my system fast.”
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Keagan asked in his light Scottish accent as he grabbed a heavy glass and poured his best whiskey into it easily. He leaned forward and looked at his friend with serious green eyes as Declan looked back at him.
He downed the whiskey in one long sip and slammed it back onto the bar as Keagan stepped back. “More.”
Declan was dizzy when he felt someone sit beside him and he blinked slowly as he felt his pain seem to disappear within his body. “Deck. It’s been a while.” He knew the voice but his memory was blank.
“Merry, leave him be. He’s got something heavy on his mind.” That was Keagan. Declan leaned forward and rested his head in his hands as he took a deep breath. “I called Rory to come and get him. There’s no way Deck is getting into a car this drunk.”
“I could take him.” Her light voice spoke up again and he tried to place it.
“Fuck that. You’ve been drinking yourself. I’m calling you a cab and he’s leaving with Rory.” Keagan shot back as Declan slipped forward to rest his body against the wood. “Shit. What the hell happened to you, Deck?”
He came to in a car and looked around slowly as Rory was pulling up to his house. “Welcome back.” His friend said dryly as he met Declan’s gaze. “Your ass is going to bed. I don’t know if you were trying to drink yourself to death or not, but the tab is covered.”
“Thanks, I guess.” Declan told him as Rory got out and helped him into the house. It was still very much his with small touches of Mallory here and there and Declan stumbled to the kitchen for a bottle of water. The sight of the ultrasound picture from their first visit stopped him in his tracks and he let out a sob. “Fuck.” He tore it off of the fridge and threw it on the ground as Rory came up to grab him. “She’s fucking gone.”
“I’m sorry, Deck. I know what happened today and I am so sorry that this happened.” Rory told him in a broken voice as he took his best friend to his room. He was in close contact with Rayna’s family about what was going on since Declan had shut himself off so much. “You’ll see her soon, it’ll all be okay and you’ll find your way back together.”
“How? We’ve lost everything.” Declan replied angrily as he threw himself onto the bed. One inhale and all that he smelled was Mallory’s sweet body spray and her coconut mint shampoo. Declan gripped the pillow tightly as he smelled it again and tried to fight the memory of them from the last time she was here. She’d finally agreed to start really packing and move in as well as to setting up Lindsay’s room.
That was the day before the accident. Mallory had been so uncertain of their future following the news of the pregnancy and a part of him would give anything to go back to that day. He’d do everything different from the beginning to prevent that accident from happening. “Just give it time,” Rory suggested as Declan curled his body up on the bed and remained silent. “Get some sleep, buddy. I’ll be on the couch.”
Declan woke up with the sun shining into the windows and rolled onto his back to look around. He could still smell her in the room but Mallory wasn’t here. He felt his stomach clench and placed a hand on his forehead as pain throbbed behind his eyes. These was the sure signs of a hangover but he hadn’t drunk that much in a few months.
Where was Mallory? Shouldn’t she be yelling at him right now? She hated it when he drank too much.
Declan stumbled out of bed to get some water and aspirin before he made the smoothie that always helped his hangovers. He walked slowly as he took slow breaths and glanced into the living room to see Rory sleeping on it with a blanket pulled over his body. What the fuck? Declan kept going into the kitchen and grabbed the water before his eyes moved to the floor to see something crumbled up and sitting in the middle of the floor. He grabbed it before he got the bottle of Advil and opened it to down a few pills with a large gulp of the refreshing water.
Declan unfolded the paper to see the ultrasound as fresh pain filled his heart. Mallory…she might see him today. He grabbed the counter as the room spun around him and took several hoarse breaths. “Calm down, Deck,” Rory told him softly as he stood beside his best friend.
“I forgot for just a while. I was coming out to find Mal and…” Declan’s voice trailed off slowly.
“You’ll forget a lot when you drink as much as you did last night.” Rory had a serious tone to his voice as Declan slowly glanced at him. “Cut this shit. You need be strong for your girl, Deck. You have a lot going for you beyond all of that. Don’t fuck it all off.”
“I don’t know how not to do that.” He admitted as he opened the water and sipped it. “I feel like shit.”
“Get some water down and take a shower. We’ll attempt food after that and you can try to go see her.” Rory suggested as Declan nodded.
Declan managed to get a cup of coffee down and took a long hot shower as he tried to force his stress out of his body. The water ran down his skin as he soaped up and cursed the memories and emotions that were taking over his cock. Declan missed Mallory so much in every way possible but at the moment, he played back one of their many times in the shower.
Once they’d eased into a relationship and after she found out she was pregnant, the hormones had kicked in hard and she had been willing to have him all of the time. The shower was a favorite for Mallory and he groaned as he reached down to stroke himself sadly. It was nothing like what he wanted and Declan only felt disappointment when he came all over the shower wall with tears in his eyes. He rinsed the conditioner out of his hair and turned off the water slowly before he stepped out into the bright room.
Declan brushed out his hair and pulled it back before he wrapped the towel around his waist and stepped into the bedroom. He threw open some windows before he slipped into some worn jeans and a long- sleeved Henley and stared into the mirror. The circles under his eyes were prominent and Declan shook his head slowly before he grabbed some Converse from the closet.
Rory was dressed in new clothes as Declan stared at him and he told him that he’d run home quickly but he was going to go to the hospital with him if Declan wanted him to. He did, so they walked out to the driveway where Declan looked curiously at his car parked to the right of Rory’s. “I had Kurt drive it here and he got a ride back to his place. I didn’t know if I’d be free today but classes were canceled so here I am.”
“Thanks, man. I need someone and I don’t want to hassle Gram and Grandpa. She’s dealing with enough already.” Declan shook his head slowly. His grandma was heartbroken over the loss of her great-granddaughter and he was trying to keep her out of it as much as possible.
“I’ll bet.” They pulled out of the driveway and onto the main road where Declan started to worry. What was he supposed to say to her? He loved her more than anything in the world but had never had to con fort someone through something like this. Declan felt clueless and for a moment, he hated his parents for never truly dealing with issues that came up when he was still with them. He’d always just pushed things aside and moved forward but right now he was locked into a place of heartbreak and pain. This was all so new to him and he pressed his hands to his temples as he sighed slowly.
Rory parked in the lot and looked at his friend for a long moment. “Ready for this?”
“I don’t know.” Declan answered honestly as he stared forward at the tree in front of them. “I don’t know what to say.”
“Just be there for her. It’ll fall into place.” Rory assured him as they got out of the car reluctantly.
CHAPTER 3
The guys saw Rayna sitting in the waiting room alone as they walked in and Declan frowned as she glanced at him with wide eyes. “Have you seen her?” His voice was abrupt and she nodded as she teared up.
“She’s talking to Mom,” Rayna said as he stood a few feet in front of her and glanced down that hallway furtively. “Sit down, Deck. I need to talk to you.”