Filthy Doctor(180)

“Look, I'm just looking for Amanda!” he shouted. “Can you please let me in?”

Footsteps sounded from the stairwell above, and a moment later, Amanda appeared. She was dressed in pajama pants and a tank top, and her feet were bare. She peered through the glass door at him. “Cole?”

She opened the door and let Cole in, while her neighbors angrily asked her what this was all about and if she had any idea what time it was.

“I'm sorry, Mr. Johnson,” she said. “I'm sure he didn't mean to wake everyone up.”

Mr. Johnson tugged his bathrobe belt tighter, his jaw set in a stern glower. “You should think more carefully about the company you keep, young lady.”

Amanda rolled her eyes at him. He turned and went back into his apartment, as did the other annoyed neighbor. Amanda crossed her arms, staring Cole down, and angrily whispered, “Cole, what are you doing here? It's after midnight.”

“I wanted to see you,” Cole said. He felt foolish, but he wasn't quite thinking straight. When it started to settle in what an ass he was making of himself, he turned towards the door. “I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you. I'll go.”

Amanda grabbed his arm. “Wait. Cole, did you drive here?”

“My car is...” Cole gestured vaguely with one hand, pointing first in one direction, then the other. “I'm not sure.”

Amanda rubbed her hands over her face. “God...you're such a pain. You can't drive like this.”

She looked at him with a thoughtful frown. Then she sighed and said, “Come upstairs. You can sleep on the couch.”

A smile spread across his face.

“But no funny business,” she said.

“I promise,” he said. And he meant it. As much as he was attracted to Amanda, and as much as he knew he'd be more than willing right now, he knew he couldn't put the moves on her in this state. It would ruin whatever chances he had with her. If showing up on her doorstep drunk hadn't already ruined it.

She led him upstairs. The apartment was dark, and the living room was littered with children's toys, junk mail, and empty soda cans. Amanda steered him over to the couch and sat him down.

“You need to be gone first thing in the morning,” Amanda said. “I don't really want to have to explain to my son why there's a strange man sleeping on the couch.”

“I'll leave as soon as I sober up,” Cole said. “I promise.”

He was vaguely aware of Amanda helping him lie down and take his shoes off. She covered him with a blanket and he started to drift off. In the darkness and through his blurry vision, he thought he saw her standing over him for a minute, looking down at him. But the next thing he knew, he had passed out.



Chapter 9



Amanda watched Cole for a while as he drifted off to sleep. Now that he was resting, and he wasn't trying to flirt with her or act all macho, he actually looked pretty cute. Almost vulnerable.

She still couldn't believe that he had come down here, drunk, in the middle of the night. She wanted to be mad at him, but it was almost sweet, in a pathetic kind of way. Sure, what he'd done had been immature and irresponsible. But in the moment when all of his inhibitions were gone, what he'd wanted most was to come and see her. She supposed he could have had any other girl he wanted. He could have gone down to some bar and picked up the first bimbo that recognized him from TV. But he'd come to her instead.

She adjusted the blanket over him, then took his shoes and set them by the door. She went to go check on James. He was asleep in his little bed, clutching at his Nerf football. He held onto that thing more than a teddy bear.

It was so tempting to tell James that his father was in the other room. That after so many years, they finally had the chance to meet. But she didn't think she could take that chance. Cole would be leaving in a few days, and for all she knew, he'd cut off all contact with James even if she told him about their relationship. She didn't want to risk James's poor little heart like that.

She went to bed, her thoughts still swirling. She dreamed of a different life, one where they were a proper family. Mom and Dad married, raising a son together, living a simple, carefree life. One where she didn't have to work two jobs just to support herself. One where she didn't have to skip meals at home so she could save money by eating at the diner.

Amanda woke back up in the early hours of the morning. She normally worked a morning shift at the diner on Sunday, and her body was so used to being up at six a.m. that she found herself wide awake even without an alarm.

She got up and heard movement from somewhere in the apartment. She went down the hall and found Cole in the bathroom, washing his face and combing his hair.

“Hey,” he said, giving her a tired smile.

“Hey. How are you feeling?”

“Better,” he said. “Still a little woozy. Listen, I'm sorry about—”

“Don't worry about it,” Amanda said. She leaned against the door frame. “I get it. I mean, I've done my fair share of dumb things while I was drunk.”

He blushed and turned away. She wondered if he thought she was talking about the night of the party, when they'd slept together.

Her lips twisted in a grimace. She didn't know what else to say. So she opened the medicine cabinet and pulled out a spare toothbrush. She'd bought a four-pack last time she'd gone shopping, since it had been on sale. “Here,” she said, handing it to Cole. “Make yourself at home. I'm going to put on some coffee.”

By the time she finished brewing the coffee, Cole emerged from the bathroom, looking much more put together. She handed him a cup and they went into the living room and sat on the couch together. There was a long, awkward silence, and Amanda didn't have the first clue how to fill it.

Finally, Cole said, “So, the wedding is this afternoon.”

“Yeah.” Amanda checked the time. They had less than twelve hours before the ceremony. “I still can't believe Michelle is getting married. And to a Hollywood producer, even.”

“I know, crazy, right?” Cole chuckled and shook his head. “I still remember when she had a crush on Bobby Stevens.”

“Oh God. Bobby. I forgot all about him.” Amanda smiled, thinking back to her high school days. Michelle's crush on Bobby had been almost as big as Amanda's crush on Cole. “What ever happened to him?”

“I heard he got married.”

“Oh? Well, I hope he and his wife are happy together.”

“Husband, actually,” Cole said.

Amanda's eyes went wide. “Oh.” She sipped at her coffee. She wondered if Michelle knew.

“Do you ever miss the old days?” Cole asked.

Amanda leaned back on the couch, staring at the ceiling. “Sometimes, I guess. I mean, I certainly liked it better when I wasn't working all the time. But I wouldn't trade James for anything in the world.”

Cole looked down the hall, towards James's room. “Who's the father?”

Amanda stared at Cole. He caught her staring and looked her right in the eye. She quickly turned away.

“It doesn't matter,” she said. “He's not around.”

“When's his birthday?”

Amanda frowned. “Why?”

Cole shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe I could send him something. Does he have a bike? He's almost getting old enough to start on training wheels.”

“He's four.” Amanda shook her head.

“I was on training wheels when I was five, I think. And riding a two-wheeler by six.”

Amanda thought it over. James was pretty coordinated. He must have gotten that from his father.

The conversation lapsed for a few minutes. Cole finished his coffee and set it on the table. “So,” he asked, “when should I pick you up tonight?”

“Pick me up?” Amanda asked.

“Yeah. For the wedding? You're still going with me, aren't you?”

“Oh.” She shrugged, looking into her empty cup. “Yeah. I just figured we'd meet up there, or whatever.”

He studied her for a long moment, a sad look in his eyes. “Listen,” he said, “if you aren't interested, I don't want you to feel pressured or anything.”

“It's not that.”

“Then what is it?”

Amanda looked down the hall again, towards James's room. How could she explain to Cole everything she was feeling? All of the conflicted emotions, all of the memories, and all of her worries about the future. It was all too much to handle. She couldn't put it all into words.

The weight of it all started pressing down on her. The more she tried to find a way to explain things to Cole, the harder it was to speak. She felt her chest start to tighten. She choked back a sob. Before she knew it, tears were flowing down her cheeks.

Cole moved closer to her, wrapping his arms around her. She buried her face against his neck. He held her tight, and his strong arms made her feel safe and protected. It made it so much easier to let it all go. She cried harder than she had in years, all of her frustrations finally coming out. She clung to him desperately, wishing things could be easier. Wishing it were as simple as rekindling her old crush and starting all over again.

Cole pulled back and brushed his thumb across her cheek, wiping her tears away. She looked up into his eyes. He looked into hers, holding her while she trembled.

Then he kissed her.

She knew it was probably a mistake. A small part of her wanted to hold back, to stop. But it felt so safe and warm in his arms, and she hadn't been touched by a man in such a long time. There had hardly been any men after Cole. She had never been able to really trust another man, never been able to let him inside. And then there was her son to consider, and she couldn't just jump into bed with any man without considering how it might affect James. But this was James's father, for better or worse.