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Filthy Beautiful Lust(20)

By:Kendall Ryan


I do not know what the fuck is happening, or what alternate universe  I've entered into, but this is not okay. This man left her  –  humiliated  her. Sent money, but never gave his time, his love. What in the fuck is  she doing here, casually sitting, and talking to him like everything is  okay? I make a protective move toward Kylie and Max, the muscles in my  jaw twitching.

"Who's this?" Elan asks. "I didn't know you were seeing anyone."

"I'm not," Kylie says, looking straight at me.

Her words cut into the heart of me and my stomach tightens. I feel like  fighting someone. Kylie asked before if I often went out and got rowdy,  well she was about to find out. But then I realize Max is sitting in the  grass, looking up at me adoringly. I head over to him and pet his hair.  "Hey little man."

"Pa-pa," he says, moving toward me, his eyes lighting up.

"He's calling this man Papa?" Elan says, the annoyance clear in his voice.

I turn to suddenly, a flash of anger rising up inside me. "You left  them," I enunciate each word clearly and slowly. "I've been taking care  of them both. You cast them aside like a fool, not seeing their value,  and believe me, I'm more than happy to step in and take your son in as  my own." Kylie's eyes widen, and she lets out a surprised exhale. But  I'm on a roll now. "I will be the one who teaches him how to play catch,  and I will be the one who teaches him to surf, how to treat a woman."

"Pace," Kylie interrupts my speech, looking upset. "You should go."

I release a huge exhale, and watch her eyes. She looks scared and hurt  and confused, but she stands her ground, her posture straight and sure.  Taking a glance down at Max, his little face is a mask of concentration  and he looks worried. I see now that I'm not welcome here. I'm  interrupting a family reunion     and fuck, I've lost my cool in front of  Max. That pisses me off more than anything.

I clench my fists and nod once to Kylie. "Will you at least call me later so I know you're safe?"

"Yes," she says.

Defeated, I turn and head for my car.





Chapter Eleven


Pace





Once at home, my condo is empty and lifeless. I throw my keys and phone down on the counter feeling angry and out of control.

That fucker looked so smug, so cool and aloof. He has no idea what he  willingly gave up. And now I'm completely fucking confused about what  Kylie wants. After last night, I thought that was it. Our relationship  was a done deal in my mind. I wanted to move her in permanently. Make  her mine. Give Max my last name if that was what she wanted. I'm not a  relationship guy, yet I was willing to change my entire world for this  woman and another man's child. But now? Now, I have no fucking clue  what's going on.

I consider alcohol, but I know I want to be clear headed when Kylie  calls later. I need my wits about me. I need to talk some sense into  her. She might think Elan is the better choice just because he fathered  Max, but I know for certain he's not. Any man who takes off on his  pregnant girlfriend isn't worthy of this woman.

I pace my condo as the light fades in the sky and wonder why she hasn't  called yet. Finally my cell phone chimes from the counter, and I race to  the kitchen.

There's a text from Kylie.

We're home, and I just got Max tucked into bed. Sorry if I caused you any worry today.

If she thinks a single text message is going to be enough after all the  heart ache and tension I've felt since discovering she was gone, she's  insane.                       
       
           



       

I press the call button and wait while it rings.

"Hi," she answers, her voice sleepy.

There are so many questions spinning in my head, I don't even know where to start. "Why did you leave?" I ask.

"I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to just take off without  explanation. I want to thank you for your hospitality, but I figured you  could use your space back."

The air feels like it's been knocked from my lungs. My hospitality? "We  fucked bareback last night. Whether or not you believe it, that meant  something to me. You mean something to me. What the hell is going on,  Kylie?"

She sighs softly. "Elan called today. He said that he knew he made a  mistake walking out on us, and he wanted a chance to meet Max."

"And you gave in, just like that?"

"He could have taken me to court, Pace. Served me with papers for a  custody arrangement. I couldn't have that. So, yes, I was doing what I  thought was best. For me and for my son."

Realizing I've wandered into my bedroom, I sink down onto the bed, the  phone pressed against my ear, and my heart heavy. "I see." I know I  should apologize for my outburst at the park today. I got a little  territorial seeing Kylie and Max with another man in the picture.  Although, I suppose I don't know if he's truly back, or if it was a  one-time thing, him wanting to meet Max. "So, is Elan back?" I ask, even  though her answer has the potential to destroy me.

"I don't know for sure. He says he wants a chance with me. A chance to  be a real family, but I told him he's a long ways off from me trusting  him again."

I swallow a lump in my throat. "And what about you? What do you want?"

She hesitates for a moment and a wave of panic rises inside of me. "I'm  trying to put my son first, and I guess deep down, I believe it would be  best for Max if Elan and I could work things out."

She's told me all I need to know. Despite her insistence the past  several weeks that I'd only end up hurting her, the opposite has  happened. She has just gutted me, and I don't think she even knows it.

"You didn't have to leave," I say, trying to regain my composure.  "Unless your arm magically healed in the last few hours, I'm guessing  you still need the help."

"With me trying to be open to exploring things with Elan, I didn't feel  right staying with you. Plus, if I'm honest, I don't think I could trust  myself alone with you after what happened last night."

"And what happened last night?" I want to hear it in her own words, I  want to know if she feels as strongly about what happened as I do.

"As I told you last night, it had been too long. And the sex was great, if that's what you're wondering."

Of course it felt great, but it was so much more than the physical act.  It was her giving herself to me fully, me claiming her as my own. But  apparently we are not on the same page. She's not mine. And Max isn't  either.

"It was good, wasn't it?" I say, trying to regain some of the cocky bad boy who never lets his heart get engaged.

Kylie's quiet, and I wonder what she's thinking. I want to ask how Max  is, how it went when he met Elan for the first time, but I stay quiet  too.

Finally, after several seconds of silence, I realize there is nothing more to say. "Goodnight, Moon," I whisper.

"Goodnight," she whispers back.

I lay back against the pillows. The smell of warm vanilla and little boy  greets me. My chest tightens and I squeeze my eyes closed, wondering  what I'm supposed to do now.



***



Despite the darkness that's settled all around me, despite the quiet,  stillness of my home, I am unable to sleep. I lay unmoving for several  hours, my head still spinning with everything that's happened in the  past twenty-four hours. I can't believe that just last night, I was  inside Kylie, watching her come apart, and today she's trying to let me  down easy and telling me she's going to make a go at things with her  baby's father.

My stomach growls, reminding me that I never had dinner. I head to the  kitchen, remembering there are leftovers of the pasta Kylie made last  night.

While I wait for the microwave to heat my food, I pick up my phone and call Collins.

I don't bother with pleasantries. I don't bother asking about Tatianna  –   he seemed so reluctant to discuss their relationship at happy hour, I  just launch straight into the hell my last few hours have been.

"Calm down, get yourself under control, man," Collins interrupts my rant.

I take a deep breath.

"What should I do?"

"Don't be a dumbfuck."

"That's your advice, asshole?" I'm about to hang up on him when the sound of his laughter fills the space between us.

"You're a Drake. Figure out it. Go get your girl back."                       
       
           



       

He's right. Colton didn't let the distance Sophie put between them keep  them apart. She flew to Italy to escape him, and shit, he was married at  the time. They had more of an uphill battle to wage than Kylie and I  do, right? I won't just sit back and let this asshole squeeze his way  back into the picture.