"Jeez. Don't scare me like that, Becca. We both have plenty of time for babies and everything."
"Of course. It's just that you've been focused on me for so long, now that I'm healthy it's time for you to focus on you."
"I've never minded a single second of being there for you. I would do anything for you."
"I know that. I just don't want you to have to sacrifice anymore." She smiles weakly.
I hate that she's right. I'm ashamed to admit that there've been times in my life that I resented her. Prom our senior year of high school was the perfect example. I had bought the most beautiful long silver strapless dress and was supposed to go with the captain of our high school's basketball team, Johnny Knight. Instead Becca took a turn for the worse and our entire family flew to Houston for an emergency surgery. I feel so selfish for even thinking it. I finally threw that silver dress away last year. The tags were still on it. And the guilt didn’t end there. Now I felt bad that I hadn't donated it, but in a fit of anger, I'd stuffed it into the trash can instead.
"It's just that you've lived in the shadow of me and my illness for so long. This is your time now and I don't want anything to get in the way of that."
"When's your next doctor's visit?" I ask, changing the topic away from my own love life.
"I go in on Monday. But I'm feeling fine." She notices my now sour mood and her smile turns into a frown. "Hey, I'm sorry to get so heavy on you. I just want to know that no matter what happens, you're going to be okay."
"Of course I am." My life is coming together and Becca is finally getting well. We all have a lot to look forward to.
I lay staring straight up at the sun. Our conversation has left me slightly on edge. Actually the entire day has. Between my parents meeting Colton for the first time, my conversation with Marta and now this strange discussion with Becca…I've lost my zen sense of calm. Poof. It's gone.
My gaze strays to Colton and I see that he's watching me from across the pool. He's holding his cell phone in his hand and glances at my beach tote beside my chair and then back at me again. I fish my own cell phone from the bag, wondering if that's what he's signaling me to do.
As soon as I pull my phone out, I see a text from him.
You look stressed out.
I gaze up at him, wondering how he can read me so well, how he can possibly be so tuned in to me when he's entertaining guests. I love him even more in that moment. I type out my reply.
I'm not. Not really.
You're lying.
I glance up at him and smile. I love that he knows me so well.
I'm fine. I promise. ;)
I keep my eyes on the screen, waiting for his reply to come, but when it doesn’t I look up at him again. He's standing across the pool and I'm struck by the beauty of our idyllic surrounding. There is nothing but blue sky overhead, and the brilliant sun shining down on him makes him look like a bronzed statute of a Greek god. His bare chest and mansion of a home rising up behind him, with only the expanse of sparkling blue water separating us remind me how lucky I am.
Finally he texts me back.
Well I'm not.
What's wrong?
I want to fuck you.
;)
"I'm gonna go for a swim," Becca says.
Shit, I'm so wrapped up in my naughty text conversation with Colton that I'd forgotten she was beside me. "Okay. Have fun." I watch as she saunters away toward the pool, and see Pace looking longingly after her, but not making a move. I briefly wonder if Colton's warned him to stay away from her.
Once Becca's in the water, I glance back down at my phone.
My cock misses you. I told him we'd have you later, but he's pretty fucking adamant it needs to be now.
Now? As in NOW?
Is he insane? We can't possibly. Just as my head is spinning, my phone chimes in my hand.
Yes.
I glance up at him and watch him type out another message.
Meet me in the pool house.
My nipples harden against my bikini top and my heart trips over itself in its fight to pick up speed. Without waiting for me to respond, Colton tucks his phone into the pocket of his board shorts. He says something to my father, who nods once, and then he strolls casually toward the pool house.
My own walk to the pool house is not so casual. I feel as guilty as a criminal on death row, certain that everyone is watching me and knows exactly what I'm headed off to do. My cheeks are already flaming bright red and my breathing is coming too fast. Apparently I suck at secret sex rendezvous.
When I reach the door to the pool house – that to any normal person would be a generously sized home – Colton is standing at the door waiting for me with an expectant smile.
"You came."
"Did you really think I'd turn you down?" I ask.
"No."
Taking my hand, he pulls me inside and shuts and locks the door behind us. The three bedroom – two bath home is under construction. The wallpaper has been stripped from the walls and there are tarps covering the floors. Dust and random tools are scattered about.