“Do you think it’s okay if I go upstairs and shower?” I ask. I’m jetlagged and grubby from the long flight. Plus I can’t help but think Collins must need to be alone right now to process what just went down.
“Of course.” He nods.
I head toward the stairs, feeling Collins’ eyes on me the entire time.
The shower is hot and the water soothing as I wash away the grime from the long flight. But it can’t wash away the guilt I have over coming here in the first place. Collins was always so good at saving me. It’s no wonder that, when I lost my job and had nowhere else to turn, I ran to him. Because if anyone could fix my failing life it was him. But is it fair of me to burden him with my issues? Is it fair of me to expect him to stop everything and rescue me from my pathetic fate? Is it fair of me to hope he’ll drop everything he’s been working for his whole life to build, just to save me?
The answer is so obvious. Hell no. As the hot water pelts my back I search for a way I can make this right, but I can’t. I’ve come in here, messed things up, and now the only thing to do is to leave him alone so that he has time to heal.
I get out of the shower and dry myself off, dressing in a T-shirt. I climb in bed and am just about to turn the light out when my phone rings. It’s Leila.
“Hey,” I answer flatly.
“Mia,” her voice is concerned. “What’s wrong?” She can read me like a book.
“I think it might be time for me to go home. Is that offer for your couch still open?” I ask.
“Of course it is, but what happened?”
“Collins just broke up with her,” I say.
Leila is quiet for a second as if she is trying to understand what I just said. Finally she says, “I don’t get it. If he’s single now, isn’t that what you wanted?”
She’s right. It was what I wanted, but now that it’s happened, I’m not sure it’s right. I don’t think it’s what I want now. “He’s upset. I feel like I’ve screwed up his life by coming here.”
“No,” she says. “You’re over thinking this. You always over think things. You care about him. He cares about you. Just give him some time and space. Breakups are hard.”
I’m not sure it’s the right thing to do, and I tell her this, but Leila is insistent. In the end she talks me into staying a little longer.
Maybe I can help him out somehow. Offer my support, for what it’s worth.
Over the next two days, I give Collins space, spending the bulk of my time applying for more jobs. He isn’t around much anyway, and when he is, he seems to be hard at work, so I don’t bother him. I’ve gotten to the point where I think there really is no reason for me to be here, since we never see each other anyway, when he comes in the kitchen one morning with a smile on his face. The first smile I’ve seen on him in days. I can’t help but feel encouraged and excited by the light in his eyes.
“Good news,” he says. He pulls a stack of papers out from behind his back and places them in front of me with a flourish.
“What is this, your memoirs?” I ask. The stack is thick.
He shakes his head. “It’s a power of attorney, an agreement, and supporting documents from the investigation of your termination.”
“I’m sorry, it’s what?” It’s not that I don’t understand the words he’s using, I just have no idea how they fit together to make any sense, at all. “An agreement to what?”
“I had your boss investigated. They found the proof my attorneys needed to negotiate a settlement for you. They’ll pay you one hundred thousand dollars and agreed to hire you back.”
“You had my boss investigated?” I take a sip of my morning coffee in the hopes it will help me understand everything Collins is springing on me.
“I wanted it to be a surprise, so I had them draw everything up. All they need from you is a signature on the limited power of attorney so they can finish the deal on your behalf.”
Collins looks so happy, yet my face is turning red, and tears pool in my eyes. He negotiated it so that I would get my old job back. I swallow against the huge lump forming in my throat. I want to be happy. God how I want to, because he’s doing it again. He’s saving me from my stupid employment bungle. I should be thanking him. I should take my job back. He’s gotten me a great deal.
But it’s not what I want. I don’t want to move back to Connecticut. I want to be here with him. And more important than that, I want him to want me here, too.
But I guess he doesn’t. I really am a burden to him. One he’s willing to put the time and money into sending far, far away.