Filthy Beautiful Forever(3)

When I hung up with my father, the look in Mia’s eyes told me she already knew his answer. But the next words out of her mouth shocked the shit out of me. She told me she was a virgin, which I assumed, and said she wanted me to be her first.

God, just thinking of that conversation transports me back to that humid July night. My stomach was rolling with nerves, and even though I knew we probably shouldn't, my dick was rock hard at the thought of fucking her. At being inside her first.

Hoping she didn’t look down and notice the erection straining in my gym shorts, I told her we couldn’t. We weren’t even dating, and with her leaving the next day, I was worried she'd regret it, and I didn't want her to feel bad after. She said she didn’t want it to be with anyone else and wanted to always have the memory of her first time being with me. She made a very convincing argument, or hell, maybe I didn’t need much convincing.

I only agreed to do it because I made her promise that she would be okay when she left the next day. She promised me she'd move on, accept her move, and date other guys at her new high school. I believed her.

I gave her one slow kiss, pressing my lips against hers, giving her the chance to change her mind and pull away. Only she didn't. Her tongue licked against my lower lip, and when I opened, it slipped inside my mouth and stroked mine.

Mia was surprised that I didn’t have a condom with me. She assumed I'd done it with a few of the girls from school that I'd messed around with. When I admitted it would be my first time too, she looked at me like she understood that we were both giving a piece of ourselves to the other. I jogged up to my house and retrieved a condom, and was back at the boat within minutes. I was guessing that by the time I made it back, she would have changed her mind, but instead she was undressed and under the quilt, quietly waiting for me with wide green eyes.

I still remember the tight squeeze of her around my cock, the puff of breath against my neck when I fully entered her, the way it felt when I came inside the latex for the first time, wiping her clean after and worrying that she hadn't come. My chest gets tight as feelings of lust mix with ones of shame. I fucked up that night.

“Collins?” she asks, pulling me from my faraway thoughts.

I clear my throat. “Sorry. It's just surreal seeing you here. Tell me what brought you to LA. Are you still living in Connecticut?” I ask. I hate the formality of my questions, but we have lost ground to cover, and the scared look on her face when I'd opened the door is still lingering in my mind.

She takes a big gulp of her drink. “This is going to sound crazy…” she laughs nervously.

“Mia, I've known you since you were five. We used to tell each other everything.”

I didn't know if someone had hurt her…or if she was running from something, but I waited patiently while she gathered her courage and downed several more sips of her drink.

“Remember that promise we made each other?” she says.

I watch her quietly. She was going to have to be more specific. Shit, it'd been fifteen years. “About?” I probe.

“Us. When we turned thirty…” She swallows nervously.

I take a deep breath, trying to understand where she is headed with this. “Mia?”

“When we were ten. We promised each other that if neither of us was married by the time we were thirty, we'd marry each other.”

The memory drifts into my head. Her soulful green eyes looking up at me like I was her savior, our pinky's locking together in solidarity. Christ, we had promised that, hadn't we? The suitcase by the front door. The fact that I'd turned thirty a few months ago. All of it slams into me at once, and a panicky feeling presses against my chest.

Heels clicking across the wood floor capture our attention. “There you are,” Tatianna says, entering the library. “This house is really too big.” She takes in Mia's presence and stops. “Oh, I'm sorry, I assumed you were alone. Hi, I'm Tatianna.” She holds out her hand and Mia rises to her feet and shakes it.

“Mia. It's nice to meet you. I'm sorry, I should go…” She sets down her drink.

I rise to my feet and place my hands against Mia's shoulders. “You don't have to go anywhere. I'm sure it's been a long day of traveling. Please sit.”

She swallows and watches me uneasily. “Are you sure?”

I nod. “Very. It sounds like we have a lot of catching up to do.” After that fucking bomb she just dropped on me, there’s no way she’s going anywhere.

She nods, her smile unsure.

“Tatianna, would you like to join us for a drink?” I ask, heading to the bar.

“Sure,” she says, her voice flat.

I make her the raspberry vodka-soda mixture she likes and hand her the glass. Tatianna sits down across the room and crosses her legs, her posture straight as a rod and her eyes glaring blankly ahead. She's still pissed about earlier.