Mickey told me I’d be fucked if I didn’t go through with this. I have to make it look like I’m dating Holly, which means we have to be seen together. This is so painfully staged, but it doesn’t seem to matter to anyone. For my part, I don’t want Tara to think I’m some fuckup still for losing this job.
“Just smile and pretend like we’re having a good time,” Holly says to me. She reaches across the table and puts her hand on top of mine.
I pull my hand away. “I’m having a great time,” I say. “Aren’t you?”
“Of course.” Her smile is plastered on and I feel like she might pass out. “You’re utterly charming, you know that, Jackson?”
“Of course,” I grumble at her.
The waiter comes over with our food. Holly got a salad, which she barely picks at. I got a big ass steak, which I dig into without hesitation.
Holly makes a face at me. “You know everyone’s watching us, right?”
“Yep,” I say through a mouthful of steak. “Might as well enjoy it, since the studio’s paying.”
She makes a face. “You’re so gross, Jackson. You don’t care that all these people are watching you tear through that steak like it’s your last meal on this planet?”
“Nope,” I say, and pop a big, juicy slice between my lips.
She sighs and shakes her head like I just said something funny.
I grin at her and chew obnoxiously.
“You don’t have to be an ass,” she says to me. “We’re in this together, you know. You think I want to be doing this?”
“You didn’t seem to mind at that dinner,” I say to her. “And you didn’t seem to mind the other afternoon.”
A flash of anger crosses her face, but she covers it up quickly. “That was a mistake,” she says to me. “And I do what’s best for my career.”
“Yeah, I bet you do, sweetheart,” I say to her. “Don’t you hate all this?”
“What, glamour and excitement? No, I don’t hate it at all.”
I laugh a little. “This is glamour? I don’t see it.”
“Of course not. But to me, this is the dream. People actually want to see me, Jackson. They’re paying attention to me. I’m some nobody girl from a nowhere town and now photographers want to sell pictures of me eating a salad with some muscle-headed jackass.”
“Sounds amazing,” I say, laying on the sarcasm.
“Don’t patronize me,” she says, still smiling. She’s actually a good actress, I decide. “You think this is all stupid, I get that. But it’s important to me.”
“It’s fake,” I say. “I saw real shit out there. You wouldn’t know the half of it.”
“I don’t care about your stupid military career,” she says. “God, all you military guys are the same. Like anyone gives a shit.”
That pisses me off, and I’m quiet for a second. Holly is a vapid, idiot girl, and I can’t let her get under my skin. She nibbles on a lettuce leaf while I take another big bite of steak. I wash it down with the rest of the whisky and motion for another one. It arrives right away, like they were fucking waiting for me to finish my first one.
I can’t complain. It’s good food and good drinks, at least, and it’s free. Still, there’s something off about Holly, and I can’t put my finger on it.
“Why did you pussy out the other day with me?” she asks suddenly.
“Pussy out?” I grunt at her. “Not exactly.”
“You threw me out when all I wanted was to fuck a little bit. You not into girls or something?”
What a fucking shrew. “You ever stop to think that maybe I’m interested in somebody else?”
That seems to genuinely surprise her. “You got a girlfriend?”
“No,” I say. “But there’s someone… important to me. And I don’t want to hurt her.”
“Oh, shit,” she says, smiling larger at me. “That’s it, isn’t it? You’re in love with somebody else. That’s why you wouldn’t fuck me. That’s why you don’t want to do this fake relationship.”
I stare at her for a second, not sure what to say. I buy time by taking a big sip of whisky. She’s right of course, and maybe it would be easier if I just came clean. Holly seems a little nuts and intense, and I don’t like her view of the military, but maybe she’s not a horrible person. Maybe I can even trust her, at least just a little bit.
“You’re right,” I say to her, not wanting to elaborate.
She laughs and shakes her head, clearly amazed. “A fucking movie star, in love with someone? I think I’ve seen everything now.”