Filthy Beast(14)

“You don’t need my help,” she says, not even thinking about it.

“I think I do,” I answer. “I’ve gotten lucky so far, but if I’m going to do this job for real, I need to learn how to be an actual actor.”

“And how can I help with that?” she asks, not batting an eye.

“You know how to act on these sets. I have no clue, I’m just faking it.”

She watches me for a second, and I can’t help but look into her gorgeous deep eyes. I keep seeing that strong, serious girl that I knew so long ago. She’s still there, just buried under the years and so many experiences that I don’t know a damn thing about. I barely know Tara anymore, and yet I feel like I know her so well. She’s barely changed.

“Sorry,” she says. “I can’t.”

“Just have dinner with me tonight. We’ll talk about it, let me pick your brain.”

“No,” she says, shaking her head. “Sorry.”

Before I can say a word, she turns and walks off. I think about going after her, but I can’t see the point in that.

The conversation bugs me for the rest of the day. I figured we had reached some kind of truce and maybe we could start being friends. But she was a little distant, maybe even a little cold.

Maybe I’m stupid, but I can’t see where this resentment is still coming from. I know she’s still angry about what I did to her all those years ago, but this feels like it’s fresh or something like that. I don’t know what I’m doing to push her away, but it’s not like she’s going to open up and tell me.

I spend the rest of the day slightly distracted, but I get through shooting. We have a bunch of action sequences to get through, which is actually good for me. I like to get physical when I have a problem, and I find that doing these scenes over and over is pretty cathartic. By the end of the day, I’m tired, but I feel productive and my stress is gone.

At the end of a shooting day, the crew cleans up the set and starts to prep for tomorrow’s scenes. I take a shower while that’s happening, and by the time I’m done, people are usually heading home. Sometimes I go back to my apartment, have some scotch, and get some sleep. Sometimes I meet the crew guys out for a few drinks.

Today, I go looking for Tara. I’m not happy about how that conversation earlier went, and I want to know what the deal is. I asked her for help and she just outright turned me down. I want to get through that shell she has, and I can’t keep waiting for her to come to me.

I find her chatting with some extras near the catering tent. I walk up to the group with a smile on my face.

“Hey guys, mind if I steal her for a second?” I say to them.

She looks at me with narrowed eyes but doesn’t say anything as I steer her away. We walk over to a more private part of the set. Above us, an enormous clock is ticking away, part of the scenery for tomorrow’s shoot. The face is glowing yellow, casting an eerie hue down on top of us.

“What’s up, Jackson?” she says to me.

I watch her for a second, measuring her. “Why did you turn me down earlier?”

She sighs. “We don’t have to get into this.”

“No, we do. You said we had a truce.”

“I did say that.” She turns away from me, but I grab her arm and turn her back. Her eyes are wide as I look down into hers, and goddamn, do I want to take her right here, right now. She’s so fucking sexy, and there’s a little anger in her gaze, which only makes me want her that much more.

“I don’t trust you,” she whispers.

“You don’t trust me?” I cock my head and slowly let her arm go. She crosses them over her chest.

“No,” she says. “I’ve heard rumors about you, Jackson. And you know what? We don’t know each other anymore.”

I stare at her for a second, surprised that she listens to that sort of shit. “You’re still that girl I knew,” I say to her softly.

“I doubt it,” she says. “You’re not the guy I knew.”

“Yes, I am. I’ve just been through some shit, like you have. But we haven’t changed, not fundamentally.”

“I don’t know if I agree with that. And anyway, just because we have a truce, doesn’t mean I want to get close to you.”

“I don’t believe that,” I say, smirking at her. “I see the way you look at me, Tara. You still remember what it was like back then, and you still wonder…”

She glares at me. “Wonder what?”

“What it would feel like to have me do exactly what you want me to do to you.”

She’s quiet for a second, but she doesn’t argue. My heart is beating fast and she’s not running away, not turning away from me. She tips her chin up and stares into my eyes.