I walked through campus after hours, the sun slowly setting over the tallest buildings, the light reflected in glass, and the streets beginning to simmer, and I thought about my mom in her early days. Women had to struggle back then, even more than they do now, especially women in industries dominated by men. The film industry was one such place, and my mom probably had it harder than I could ever imagine. Then one day, she wrote a bad review about the wrong person’s movie, and got blackballed.
It was a miracle she survived it. I wouldn’t have blamed her if she had decided to curl up into a ball in her old crappy apartment and cried herself to sleep. And she probably did, but the difference between her and all those other people that never made it was that she got up afterward, put on her best outfit, fixed her mascara, and got the fuck back out into the world. That was my mom: she could take a hit, but she’d always keep trying.
Which is why I kept walking toward the student center, despite the heavy stone in my gut and the fear in my chest. I was going to have to interact with Noah, no matter what I wanted, if I was going to be able to do my job. I couldn’t quit, because I genuinely needed the money, but more than that, I wasn’t the kind of person to let a guy dictate what I did. I was going to try and get through it, and avoid Noah the best I could. If my mother could deal with his father trying to destroy her career, and end up even better off for it, then I can deal with Noah and his lying. I didn’t need to like him to work with him.
The walk felt longer than usual as I picked my way through the dying post-class crowds, feeling anxious but not letting it overwhelm me. On the one hand, I wanted to immediately talk to Noah, and to confront him about the lie; on the other, I wanted to throw my arms around his neck and kiss his mouth again, maybe find out exactly where things would have gone if the Wonder Twin hadn’t interrupted us. I knew that was crazy, but I couldn’t help it. There was too much between us to ignore, too many coincidences; he may have been an asshole, but there something beneath what he said and what he did, and it was that core of goodness that I wanted to uncover.
As I trotted down the steps, psyching myself up for a long night of ignoring him, I began to wonder if I’d ever get a chance to unmask him, or even if I wanted to anymore. Before, he was just the bad boy player with a messy past; now, though, he was the guy who lied to me, and whose father destroyed my mother’s early career.
The more I found out about Noah, the more I wanted him and hated him.
Chelsea was sitting in her usual spot as I turned the corner and entered the theater’s lobby. I gave her a little wave as I dropped my bag off and looked around. The Wonder Twins were busy behind the concession stand, apparently working for once, and Miss Havisham was busy trying to set up a cardboard cutout for the latest indie film we’d be showing. I kept scanning the room, and I realized that Noah was nowhere in sight. My heart began to beat fast, and I was suddenly hopeful. Maybe he had called out sick, or maybe he had decided to quit. I hadn’t gotten any more messages from him on Facebook, so I had no clue what was going on. Maybe I wouldn’t have to deal with him at all.
But that was just wishful thinking. Noah appeared from the smallest of the three theaters carrying cleaning supplies, and he immediately caught my eye. He gave me a small grin, the cockiest look I had ever seen, and I wanted to slap it off his perfect face. My torn, dual feelings for him came flooding back instantly as I looked at him in his tight black uniform T-shirt showing off his perfect body, and his nicely styled but messy hair. I quickly looked away from him and strode over to Miss Havisham, trying to cut him off before he had the chance to say anything.
“Hi, Miss H, need any help?” I asked.
She was struggling with the cutout, obviously trying to unfold the stands in the back and obviously failing.
“Linda, hello, no thank you.” She shook her hair, her hair frizzy and flying all over the place. She looked frazzled, and I couldn’t help but stifle a laugh. She noticed, and gave me a pleasant smiled in return.
“I look pretty crazy, don’t I?” she asked.
“No, not at all, I’m just laughing at the cutout,” I said, stumbling.
“It is a very funny cutout, Miss H,” Noah said, appearing beside me. I wanted to stomp on his foot with my heel or maybe rip off his earlobe. Instead, I looked back at Miss H and smiled sweetly.
“What do you need me to do tonight?” I asked.
“Oh, you’re with Noah again, dear.”
Damn. Exactly what I was hoping to avoid.
“I’m feeling much more comfortable,” I said, trying to prompt her.
“Good dear, good to hear.” She was already back at it, trying to unfold the cutout. I could feel Noah by my side practically beaming with joy. After a second, I walked off toward the supply closet, deciding I’d give the theaters a quick sweep before the ticket rush started.