“To Maddox,” I say and truly mean it. I take a drink of my coke and slap my best friend on the back. My dad’s words bounce around in my head like a ping pong ball in an arcade game.
I’ve already found her, Dad. I’ve already found her.
*****
It’s almost show time and Maddox is starting to pace around the room we’re all in at the back of the church. After I finished getting him dressed because the guy’s hands were shaking so bad and he was working on his fourth try at tying his necktie, there’s a knock on the door.
“Come in,” Maddox says, nerves evident in his voice, as he rubs his sweaty hands up and down his suit pants for the tenth time.
My mom walks in and gives a beautiful smile to the room. She looks amazing and half her age in her beautiful lavender dress. Maddox, his brother Aiden, my brothers, and I are all dressed in dark grey suits. The whole event is pretty small with me serving as best man and Maddox’s brother as his groomsman. My three brothers are ushers.
“Look at this room full of handsome men,” my mom coos with a big smile.
“How are the girls doing, Mom? Is Avery ready?” Will asks.
“They’re all ready to go,” she says with a big smile to the room before turning her attention to Maddox. “It’s almost time. I just wanted to come and give you a hug and tell you how happy I am that you’re marrying my daughter. And with the adoption looming around the corner, you’ve made me the happiest mother in the world today,” mom says with tear-filled eyes as she gives Maddox a big motherly hug.
“Thank you, Mrs. S. I won’t ever let you down. I promise,” Maddox replies. I decide not to draw attention to the fact that he takes a swipe at the moisture in his eye.
“I know you won’t, dear. Now, if you boys will excuse me, I’d like to have a word with Jake in the hallway.”
Mom walks out the door and stops just outside of the door in the hallway; I follow her and close the door tightly behind me. My body is filled with tension, and I can sense the lecture coming. It’s just like I’m the fifteen year old boy again who convinced Nate to climb on the roof and drop water balloons on Avery and her kindergarten friends playing in the backyard.
“Have you talked to her?” she asks with a knowing look on her face, arms crossed firmly over her chest.
I don’t even have to ask who she’s referring to. Mom always know. “No,” I reply and look down at my shoes.
“Why not, Jake?”
I exhale deeply. “I couldn’t find her this morning. I looked everywhere - her house, the library, and just about every place I could think of in town.”
“You didn’t check your parent’s house.”
I look up at my mom. My eyes clash into the striking blue eyes that are identical to my own.
“Yes, she’s been at our house all day. She arrived just before nine when all of the girls were gathering for brunch. I took one look at her and knew something more than just ‘being sick’ was wrong with that girl. She looked like she hadn’t slept a wink and that she was dying inside. So why don’t you tell me why she has fought tears almost the entire day today?”
I close my eyes as the image of Erin crying invades my mind again. “I said something last night that I didn’t mean. Something in the heat of the moment that I can’t take back now.”
“Does this have anything to do with why she left suddenly last night and you came back looking like someone ran over your dog?”
I exhale. “Yeah. I caught up with her down the road from the restaurant. She overheard part of a conversation and what she heard didn’t exactly paint me in good light so she took off and walked home. But, I swear, Mom, that conversation wasn’t what she thought it was.”
“Did you tell her that?”
“Of course! But she threw it back in my face. Said that I was spoiled and selfish and was only out to hurt her again. I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“What did you say after she accused you of those things?”
“I…I basically told her to get stepping and not to come back,” I say in a quiet voice as I hang my head in shame. “But I didn’t mean it, Mom,” I say, eyes pleading with her to believe me.
“Of course you didn’t, honey. You know, there was a time right after you and Nate were born that your father and I fought all the time. It didn’t matter what it was about or how frivolous it was, we fought and fought. One night after one particularly horrible fight where we both said things we didn’t mean, your dad stormed out of the house and tore out of the driveway in his truck. He was gone for over an hour and I started to wonder if we would actually make it to celebrate another anniversary. I cried for what felt like a lifetime that night while I waited to see if he was coming home or not. Just when I decided to give up and go to bed, I heard his truck pull into the driveway. His boots were heavy on the steps and I was dreading the inevitable confrontation that was surely coming. But when your dad stepped through the front door and I took one look at his red, swollen eyes and his dirty, tear streaked face, I completely forgot what we were even fighting about to begin with. I realized that it was nothing compared to our relationship - that was worth fighting for. He pulled out his hand from behind his back and had a big bunch of wildflowers from a country ditch. They were the most beautiful flowers I’d ever seen or received. It was in that moment that I realized your father and I still had a lot to learn about each other and ourselves, but as long as we were in it together, we’d figure out a way.” Mom stares at me intently and reaches up to touch my cheek. “It’s not what you fight about that matters, Jake. It’s what you fight for that’s really important.”