My stomach literally falls to the floor and I feel like I’m going to throw up. Jake just confirmed to Travis that he’s only with me for the temporary? To have a little fun until he gets bored or someone better comes along?
I back up a few steps and run into Avery. “What’s wrong?” she asks concern etched all over her face.
“Nothing.”
“You look pale. Are you feeling okay?” Avery’s ‘mom instincts’ kick in as she steps towards me and tries to place her palm over my forehead.
“Actually, I’m not. I’m not feeling very well at all. I’m going to head out.” I lean in and hug Avery quickly. “Will you tell Jake for me? He’s busy talking and I don’t want to interrupt him.” I start to walk back towards the room where our dinner party is in full swing to retrieve my purse and coat.
“Wait! You’re just leaving? Let me get Jake and he’ll give you a ride home.”
“No, that’s okay. I’m only a couple of blocks away. The cool air will probably do me some good. I’ll see you tomorrow,” I throw over my shoulder as I head back into the room to get my stuff. I slip out quickly without anyone noticing which makes me very happy. Well, as happy as you can be considering your heart was just ripped out of your body and stomped on by the guy you love.
I’m able to keep the rush of tears at bay until I reach the end of the block. When I round the corner and head in the direction of my house, the silent tears start to fall. I hug my arms against my chest as I walk trying to keep it together. If I can just make it home, I can fall apart in private. I have been humiliated by Jake Stevens…again. And it’s my own damn fault this time.
By the end of the block, I hear a truck approaching from behind and stop next to me along the side of the road. “Erin! Get in the truck,” Jake yells through the downed passenger window.
“No thanks. I’m done taking orders from you.”
“What the hell?” he says as he throws the truck in park and gets out. He’s next to me in a few strides. “Erin. Seriously, what the hell is going on? Why did you leave? Avery says you’re not feeling well?”
“No, Jake. I’m not feeling very well at all,” I reply but keep walking.
“Get in my truck and I’ll take you home if you’re sick.”
“Don’t worry about it, Jake. Just go back to the party.”
“Erin, I don’t understand what the hell is going on here. Are you upset about something?” Jake asks as he steps in front of me and finally gets me to stop.
“No.”
“Erin, don’t lie to me. You promised you would always answer my questions when I ask. Darlin’, what is going on?” Jake asks, concern etched in his beautiful face. A face that will haunt my dreams for the rest of my life. Jake was the one. At least he was for me.
“I heard you,” I whisper.
“Heard me say what?”
“I heard you tell Travis to just have a little fun and then move on.”
Jake looks up like he’s thinking back to his conversation with Travis. “That wasn’t about you, Erin,” he replies defensively.
“Whatever, Jake. I’m done being humiliated by you. You just confirmed that you are the exact same person you were twenty years ago. A spoiled, selfish boy who only cares about getting what he wants; be damned with everyone else.” I step around Jake and start to walk again towards my house.
“Erin, what the hell? Is that really what you think of me?” Jake asks but doesn’t follow me.
I stop and turn back to face Jake. “It wasn’t what I thought until about ten minutes ago. Until I realized that the person I’ve come to care the most about in this world doesn’t feel the same way. In fact, he feels the exact opposite.”
Jake is staring at me, dark blue eyes burning into mine. “Well, then you better get home before this cold air freezes what’s left of your cold heart,” he replies with his hands stuffed in the pockets of his jeans, face as hard as stone.
I turn around and walk away from him. My cold heart? He was the one who admitted to only being with me until something better comes along. I was prepared to tell him that I was in love with him tonight, and I’m the one with the cold heart? No, the only thing wrong with my heart is the fact that it’s shattered into a million pieces, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to repair the damage he’s done.
The cool air chills my hot tears as I walk the rest of the three blocks towards my house. All I can think about now is curling up on my couch with Miss Whiskers and a pint of chocolate ice cream, and crying until there’s nothing left inside except the ghost of a memory of Jake Stevens.