Fight Me(34)

“Why Rivers Edge?”

“A classmate that we went to school with reconnected with me a few years back on Facebook. In one of our many conversations, she mentioned that Mrs. Masterson was planning on retiring and that the City was going to search for a new librarian. I applied. They offered. I accepted.”

Jake is quiet again for a few moments before he starts up his truck and drives back the way we came. I feel raw and emotional after our conversation so the fact that he’s taking me back home is welcomed.

We don’t speak the entire ride back to my place. I still hold the melted bowl of ice cream in my hand when he pulls into my driveway and parks behind my Bug. I have no idea what he’s thinking. I’m sure he’s just dying to get this crazy, overly emotional girl out of his truck.

“Well, thank you for the ice cream. I guess I’ll see you around,” I say as I turn towards the door to hop out.

“Wait.” Jake says. The snow is coming down hard now and it’s hard to see my front steps. “Please don’t go.” Jake’s voice is raw with emotion. He sounds almost pained. I don’t want to turn and see his face. I know that if I turn around, I might actually believe whatever it is he is about to say. “Please look at me, Erin.”

I take a deep breath and slowly turn around, steeling myself for the reaction I know is coming. When my eyes lock on his, I can’t fight the tears that spring in my eyes. His eyes are so full of pain and hurt. It’s too much. I need to get out of this truck.

“I need to go inside.”

“Erin, I’m…I’m so fucking sorry for what I did back then. I have no excuse for why I did it. I was just a stupid kid who was trying to get a rise out of you; trying to get you to notice me.”

“Notice you? Why would you want me to notice you?”

“I wasn’t lying at dinner that night when I told you I was trying to get your attention. I liked you.”

“So you humiliated me and embarrassed me? Why? So I’d like you? Do you have any idea how messed up that is, Jake?”

“I didn’t say it was logical. I was a kid. A kid who was used to getting exactly what he wanted, when he wanted it. I went about it the wrong way. I’m sorry.”

“Well, you’re sorry. Great. Thank you.” I turn and open my door. “I’m going inside. Thank you for the ice cream, again. Have a great life.”

“Wait!” he yells as he whips open his truck door and meets me around the front of the truck.

“What, Jake? You’ve apologized. You don’t have to be nice to me anymore just to make yourself feel less guilt. I forgive you. You’re free.” I blink rapidly in the falling snow. It’s hitting and melting on my face, my hair, my coat.

“Is that why you think I’ve been nice to you? I’ve been hanging out with you because I’ve felt guilty for what happened twenty years ago?”

“Isn’t it?” I quip.

“No!”

I turn to walk towards my house, but Jake grabs my arm and spins me back around. My body crashes into his like it’s being slammed into a brick wall. He’s a foot taller than me so my face basically hits him straight in the pecs. “I’m tired, Jake. I don’t want to fight with you anymore.”

“I don’t want to fight with you either, Erin.” Jake strokes his thumb up and down my numb cheeks. His fingers feel warm against the frostiness of my exposed skin.

“Then what do you want?” I ask, my eyes pleading with him. For what, I’m not sure.

“I want…I just want…you,” he whispers the last word as his full lips descend onto mine.

When our lips lock, it’s like an explosion of feelings. Heat spreads through my entire body. I feel slightly lightheaded like I’m starving for oxygen. I feel desire and longing. And I can feel all the exact same in Jake’s kiss. He kisses me like he’s starving and longing and scared all at the same time. This kiss says everything.

The February air is cold and the snow is wet, but I don’t really feel it anymore. I’m lost in a different world, like I’m on the outside looking in. All I feel is Jake. His lips. His tongue. His body pressed hard against mine.

Jake’s hands dive into my hair, holding my head as he devours my mouth with his own. I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling myself tightly against him. I feel all of the hardness of his body. His hard chest and stomach. His very large hard-on through his pants. Knowing that he wants this as much as I do, that I’ve brought him to this crazy, almost out of control place, is an intoxicating feeling. His back muscles jump as I snake my hands under his shirt to get a feel of his bare, warm skin. I want to touch him - I need to touch him - everywhere.