“Yes,” I say matter-of-factly as I reach into the hall closet and grab a winter coat.
“Let’s go. We don’t have much time.” Well, so much for polite and ‘asking’.
“Where are we going?” I ask as I slide into his truck.
“The Ice Cream parlor opened today. I thought we’d go get an ice cream before they close for the night.”
“But it’s like thirty degrees outside. And it’s snowing.”
“I know,” he replies and concentrates on getting us to the ice cream parlor before it closes at ten.
When we pull into the drive-thru, Jake asks “What do you want?” before rolling down his window.
“Hot fudge sundae, please.”
When the young girl opens the window in her winter coat, Jake orders two hot fudge sundaes. I try to pull some money from my purse, but Jake holds up his hand. “I invited you to this surprise, I am paying.”
“Thank you,” I say as I take the first sundae handed to us through the window.
“You’re welcome.” Jake throws the truck in drive and heads out of town.
“Where are we going?”
“I thought we’d watch the snow fall at the river and enjoy our ice cream.”
“Oh, the river. I haven’t been there in twenty years. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been there.”
“You’ve never been to the river? How is that possible?”
“Well, when we arrived in Rivers Edge, I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere by myself yet until my parents felt a little more comfortable. Then, it turned cold fast. And I was gone in March so I didn’t get to enjoy the summer months at the river that everyone talked about.”
Jake pulls into the long lane that runs parallel to the snow and ice covered Missouri river. This part of the river is much shallower and narrower than the majestic Missouri river. It’s quiet and peaceful here.
Jake shuts off the truck as we dive into our sundaes. “So, can I ask you something?”
“I guess.”
“Why did you leave so quickly in seventh grade?”
The question makes my heart stop beating. My mind wanders back to those last couple of humiliating days before I left Rivers Edge. I don’t want to discuss this with him. I don’t want him to know exactly how much he affected me all those years ago.
I shrug and scoop another spoonful of the cold dessert.
“Don’t do that,” he says with authority in his voice.
“Do what?”
“Don’t act like it’s nothing. I asked. I want to know. Remember our date? You promised me you’d tell me the truth when I ask you a question.”
“I just don’t think that it’s wise drudging up the past, Jake. It’s done. Over.”
“I want to hear your side of it. I want to hear it from you.”
I sigh deeply and return my focus on my ice cream. I hate confrontation and the thought of having this conversation with Jake right now turns the ice cream in my stomach sour.
“Erin,” he says softly with a little pleading in his voice.
“I just needed to get away, Jake. The thought that everyone at school knew my secrets, my thoughts, hurt me. I wanted to be invisible and when you showed everyone my journal, you took that away from me. I was the girl who whined about her parents. The girl who cried herself to sleep at the thought of having to pick up and move one more time. The girl who had the biggest crush on the boy that every girl in school had a crush on. The girl who watched her entire life unravel before her eyes and couldn’t do a thing to stop it.” I stare straight out into the night sky. There’s no lights out here, no traffic, no sound. Just Jake and me and the river.
“Why did you leave? Why didn’t you stay in Rivers Edge with your parents?”
“Because the thought of seeing you every day was more than I could handle. I couldn’t stand to look at you and pretend that what you did didn’t hurt and destroy me. That journal was all I had, Jake. It contained my thoughts and my dreams. I shared everything within those pages and you took it and shared it with everyone at school. I didn’t want to see your face and be reminded of how you betrayed me.”
Jake remains quiet but I can feel his eyes burn into the side of my face. I don’t want to look at him, but curiosity eventually gets the better of me.
“Where did you go?” he asks, his voice small and ashamed.
“I went to Jackson, Mississippi to live with my grandma. It was actually for the best. My grandma was able to convince my parents to just let me stay there with her to finish out my school years. Finally, I had a home. A real home. I didn’t have to move around anymore. I was finally happy. I met a group of friends that I actually got to spend more than a few months with before I had to leave. I graduated with friends. When I went to college, I was able to remain living with my grandma. I actually stayed with her until last year. I always planned to move into my own place but my grandma just got weaker and weaker as the years went on. I was afraid to leave so I stayed. She died last spring. After that, I was ready to get out of Jackson and start my own roots somewhere else.”