Before their eyes lay the devastation of Israel and the ruination of the faith of generations and it was too great a vision to be contemplated by so small a number. They resolved, therefore, to take the matter to the full gathering of the Sanhedrin.
At that moment, Judas realised that what Jesus had done, though dangerous and foolhardy, was acceptable. For it had revealed to all men not only the hypocrisy of the priests, but also that Jesus was indeed more than John the Baptist; that he was more than a prophet or a priest. For he had spoken with a Godly authority that even the priests could not deny, and which had made them fearful!
When Judas returned to the circle in the outer suburbs of Jerusalem he went directly to Jesus and spoke to him again.
He said, ‘Jesus…you have shown me why you do not bother with the Pharisees, for they are like dogs in a manger, they do not want the truth, and yet they will prevent any other from knowing it, but now you must prepare how, and when, you will take up your rule of the kingdom of Israel from them. It is time for pruning and you must do it in a hurry, while you have many supporters who can help you cut down the dead stalks!’
Jesus penetrated him with eyes like rainbows. ‘I am not come to prune the garden, Judas, but to make it lush. You have been with me long and still you do not understand me! The kingdom comes to this world through me. It is not of this world, but it comes to save the world, it comes to save even the weeds…I have not come to rule Israel, but to serve all of humanity!’
Judas’ blood grew hot and gall was stuck like a rock in his throat. He walked away from Jesus with sparks flying from his muscles and sinews and marched full of fury and impatience into the streets of Akra.
He was thinking his wild thoughts when an old dog launched itself from an archway at him, growling and snarling for all it was worth. Before the animal could blink Judas had already felled it with a kick to the side of the head, and was leaning over to look at one eye, full of blood and surprise.
He whispered to it, ‘I will speak plain, one beast to another, next time, don’t growl before you bite!’
He looked to see if the animal had taken it in before walking off towards Jerusalem.
37
MACHAREUS
Our aggressors had constructed a gatta, a siege tower, which day after day crawled a few feet closer to the summit. Now that the French were so close, our fortress was battered day and night without pause. Our walls were strongly built but Hugh of Arcis was persistent and I knew it was only a matter of time before his shots found a breach.
Skirmish after skirmish had left many wounded, and these were taken to rooms set apart for them. My fellow perfects and I gave those who desired it the convenenza, which unlike the consolamentum could be administered even to those who could no longer speak. I worked long hours without rest, and yet I did not feel weary.
In truth, of late I had discovered in myself a boundless vigour. Even Raymon, my socio, God bless him, had seen it, and had been puzzled at the spring in my step, at the lilt in my voice and my ability to climb to the end of the spiral stairs, without being seized by breathlessness.
He told me he had seen the light in the room at the top of the keep, and asked, ‘How can you be so full awake in the day, when you seem to spend night after night without sleep, pairé?’
I wanted to tell him I was becoming full to the brim with knowledge and that it surged through my blood. I wanted to tell him this knowledge caused me to feel a peculiar love and warmth for everything and everyone. I wanted to say that I might appear an old man in the autumn of my days, but that in my soul I was renewed–reborn and that it was all due to a beautiful apparition, or girl, or whatever she was!
But I did not tell him any of these things.
Christmas came and went without fighting on either side. We, like the Catholics, celebrated the rituals of our faith; we blessed the bread and sang our songs and joined together in a communal meal. But when I looked around at my fellow perfects, bishops and the deacons of our faith, I knew that not one of them had a true understanding of the birth of Jesus, nor of the man, Jesus of Nazareth. They still saw him like a stone, over which one might step to find the Christ.
It was a cheerless existence, to be so alone and yet surrounded by so many. I knew now what Lea had meant when she said that to know a person one must first love him. How many here truly knew me? I felt like a forgery and so whenever the credentes fell to their knees to kiss my hand, I did not feel worthy of their veneration and I told Lea how I felt when next I saw her.
She was looking at the fire and did not respond or even turn her face to me. I felt I should say something else, ‘I know now what you meant that first night we met, when I told you I was a perfect. How I could have dared to call myself that, I do not know!’