‘What was she going to say, Lea?’ I asked.
‘She was going to say that she could see Yeshua, her son, in Jesus. But these feelings could not rise up into her thoughts.’
‘Why not?’
‘The time was not yet come, pairé, don’t be impatient! First she must let her feelings sit in the warm silence of her heart, like ‘leaven’, until they can rise up to become words.’
‘Oh my!’
16
THE ENLIGHTENED ONE
Jesus travelled with the pure ones to the valley of Engaddi, an oasis of fresh water springs and palm trees thrust up out of a stark, apocalyptic landscape. Here, atop a sheer windblown hill overlooking the abundant desert skies and those salt-laden waters of the Dead Sea, he was taken to the motherhouse of the Order of the Essenes where its members lived in complete and silent seclusion.
On his arrival he was welcomed with respect and over time he was given instruction and shown the library of scrolls preserved in clay pots, wherein the elders and guardians of the community had sealed the memory of their founder, the ordinances of their people and the prophecies of the holy ones. Jesus had lingered many an hour in this repository of wisdom, reading by the light of an oil lamp.
Below the motherhouse in a modest convent, there lived the celibate educators of the children of outsiders. Beyond this could be found the dwellings of the married Essenes, the weavers, carpenters, vine growers and tillers of the soil, the life-blood of the order. He saw that this community was not unlike the community at Nazareth, where the lay people supported the priests and the teachers, and so it had not been difficult for him to grow accustomed to its ways.
At Engaddi however, the community not only provided for the priests, it also provided for the many penitents who came here from every place, and the ascetics who lived in the desert gorges and hillside caves of the neighbouring areas. Jesus wandered through these desolate places with his teachers, garnering their knowledge. At other times, he went alone into the village to talk to the simple folk. When he was feeling the need for quiet, he would take himself to where the trees shaded the coolness of a waterhole not far from the settlement. Here, he could sit and ponder the purity, or impurity, of the teachings he was receiving.
One day, when he came to the waterhole, he found one of his teachers waiting for him. The old man’s head was roughened by the sun, and his white beard flowed like a shiver from his chin. He greeted Jesus with a nod, and asked him if he knew what he had come for.
‘You wish to speak with me.’
‘That is so.’
His time at Engaddi was nearing an end and the old man had come to seek from him his decision: to go or to stay.
‘Much time has passed since your arrival in our community and I am sent by the elders not to convince you to stay, since a man must decide freely to enter into our cloister, but rather to speak of the grave and solemn responsibility you shall undertake if you decide to join us in our doings.
‘You know that Nazarites are reverenced by all as holy men. They are holier even than the Levites born into the priesthood! When they go to the Temple in Jerusalem, they are given every convenience and are permitted at any time to enter the court of the Nazarites, where they can gather up their hair and cook their peace offerings.
‘What I have come to tell you is this…if you become an Essene you will not be respected or given conveniences. You will not be understood by any man! For we Essenes walk like shadows…’ he whispered, ‘silent, quiet…and none know that we prepare the world for the coming of the Messiah through fasting and penitence and deep prayer. We live a grave life, Jesus, as you know, because it is only through purification that we gain knowledge, it is only by shunning the world and its un-cleanliness that we shall rise higher than other men. Listen to me, Jesus,’ he sat forward, ‘the world has stained the soul and the soul has tainted the breath, which was given as a gift to man by God, so that when we breathe out…we kill the world. Once you enter into our cloister all that exists outside its gates, all that lives in the kingdom of the world must be forgotten. That is why there are no images at our portals, Jesus, because our eyes must be kept pure for the images that are true. Have you seen the pagan idols in your travels? Are they not like the beings we meet in the world? How can we presume to be the creators of the likeness of God? All images must be left behind at those gates, for only in seclusion can the mind make images of higher things, and only these higher images can change the heart, and only a change of heart can cleanse the breath…so that a man becomes like a plant, life giving.’