Fifth Gospel(140)

‘Tu! Imbecile! Adiuvo! Sic! Tu! Imbecile! Adi-u-vo!’ Then he shouted in Greek, ‘Arêxis! You’re not a Jew, I know who you are, you’re the Greek stonemason…lift him up, you Greek bag of dung!’

He pushed him towards her son and after some further coaxing the man took him by an arm and lifted him to his feet.

Her son gave her one last look before the man helped him onwards.

She was taken with dizziness then, and Lazarus-John held her as the procession moved on.

And for a small time she did not see him.





70


DESTINY




By the time the procession arrived at the topmost aspect of the rocky plateau they called Golgotha, the preparations for the crucifixion were near finished. It was almost the seventh hour and the Romans were resting, half dressed, drinking wine and rolling dice. When they saw that Pilate was among the cohort of soldiers they stood and put away their drink and made a small effort to look like soldiers.

Claudia Procula looked upwards to a sky drowned in cloud. The wind was stronger and the world was lulled by it into movement and when the cold air crossed her face after the heat of day it caused her to shiver. She pushed ahead of the crowds to come closer to the cross. She saw that Jesus had slipped and had fallen upon a rock. His moans made inroads into the hearts of the women nearby and moved her, to her very sinews with compassion.

She saw her husband inspecting his men. He did not look like the man she loved, like the father of her child. He seemed a stranger to her and yet so confused was her heart that even as he prepared to leave the hillock, with that look of a man who has no floor on which to stand, a desire rose up in her to go to him. But she did not go to him and he did not see her, for she was once again dressed as a Jew and among the women relatives of Jesus.

The centurion called Abenader took a cup to where lay Christ Jesus and offered it to him. She knew it was wine blended with wormwood – to stupefy those who would suffer the coming punishment. Christ Jesus refused it. No. He would not yield to ordinary weakness. He was destined to suffer without quarter and to surrender himself only when all was done.

The guards tore off the garments from that aching, bleeding, weeping body full of lacerations, welts and swellings, dividing amongst themselves their spoils – all except his robe. They threw dice for it and laughed among themselves.

She looked away, for naked was he made to lie on the ground so that the guards could nail his wrists to the crosspiece. Blow after blow was struck until the tapered nail, having pierced deep into the flesh, was finally sunk into the wood.

She near fainted, for she felt his moans as hers, and his burning pain moved over her own arms and it seemed unbearable to her this burning, a mighty conflagration!

Blood gushed over the archers and they cursed it.

Gaius Cassius looked about but with his bad eyes failed to see her. He cursed the archers and told them to hurry.

The two criminals were also nailed to their cross pieces and the sounds of their constant, woeful screaming reached the darkening vaults of heaven and made the world seem like a place full of torment. She looked to the woman called Magdalena. She had fallen on the ground and was taking up dirt into her hands to rub into her hair and her face. She wept and wept.

The archers had begun dragging Jesus to his feet and were now pulling him to the post wedged into a hole in the ground. Two men on ladders lifted his body until the post found the slot in the cross piece, and then he was let go. The crosspiece came down with the full force of Jesus’ weight on his wounds, causing a great tearing and bleeding. All around her the sound of moans continued as the guards came off their ladders and took up their nails to hammer in the feet, but it took long, many blows of the hammer were struck before the bones were shattered.

After that came the convulsing of the entire body, which moved of its own accord. She could not bear it.

Claudia fell. She heard crickets in her ears and all went to black before the world was returned again and with it a thought. She realised that ill did not attract ill after all! Only a great light, a great goodness could raise the hackles of evil in such a way and cause it to cast a dark shadow such as this!

At that very moment, Gaius Cassius, by some instinct, turned away from his work of overseeing the butchery and let his clouded eyes roam the crowds until they fell on her. His face bespoke bewilderment and surprise and his mouth came open slightly, as if he would speak. But he said nothing.

Of a sudden open to her heart was the thread of destiny that bound them and would continue to bind them from life to life. But in the same breath it slipped away from her, leaving only a faint trace of a memory, like a taste in the mouth of something sweet.