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Fifth Gospel(14)

By:Adriana Koulias


Yeshua smiled himself. ‘They do not like the goats?’

‘The goats annoy them and they smell bad.’

Yeshua nodded. ‘Yes, they smell bad and they are stupid!’ He looked at Jesus, ‘So, what am I thinking then, what do you see in my head?’

Jesus’ gaze touched upon Yeshua’s face a moment and then turned away. ‘Your thoughts are too complicated for my reckoning,’ he told him. ‘They are knotted up, one with the other, and made of sharp corners.’

‘Well…if they are made of sharp corners,’ Yeshua threw a clump of grass at Jesus, ‘how can they be knotted? Knots are rounded!’

More grass was thrown, and soon the two boys were covered in dirt and laughing like anything.

They fell on their backs then and Jesus turned over on his belly, contented, cupping his chin with his hands.

Yeshua observed the leaves on the tree, chewing on a blade of grass. ‘Last night I dreamt I was an eagle,’ he said.

Jesus gave him a sideways glance, ‘How high did you fly?’

‘I flew so high I reached the sun, that’s how high! Then, something strange happened. The sun turned into a beautiful woman, who stood on the moon and wore a crown of stars. She told me her name was wisdom and she showed me things in a deep well: strange things, terrible wars, fearful sights! She told me it was the future, and that it would be grave but that I would perform a task that would save the world, but first I had to remember something that I had to forget again! But I can’t remember what it was!’

‘That is because you have already forgotten it!’

‘That is true!’ he said, with a sigh.

‘What happened after that?’

‘The woman moved her hand over the well and showed me something more…she showed me an image of you.’

‘Me?’ Jesus turned his head all smiles and frowns at him. ‘What was I doing?’

‘You were climbing steps, carrying something on your back…when I looked closer, I could see that it was me you were carrying, and that I was heavy. And you told me that I would be light if I let go of my treasures…that I would find them again, but that for now they were heavy. When finally I threw off all that I possessed I was light, like dust in the wind! I knew that from that time there would be no need for words between us.’ He looked at Jesus, ‘I do not know what it means, this dream!’

Jesus nodded, thoughtful. ‘This is a difficult dream.’

Yeshua sat up to look at the heart-form of his friend’s face and the wide set eyes full of colours, ‘Not for you! You always know!’

Jesus shrugged his shoulders. ‘Not this time.’

‘I don’t believe you.’

‘Perhaps, you know too much already?’ Jesus said to him.

Yeshua let his gaze roam over the sheep and the long view of the world, grinding his teeth. ‘I always tell you what I know!’

‘Yes.’ Jesus frowned. ‘You know many things.’

‘Brothers tell one another everything!’

‘We are not brothers, Yeshua,’ Jesus corrected him, resting his head on the crook of his arm.

Yeshua scowled, feeling querulous. ‘Why not?’

‘Jacob and Simon and Jude and Jose…they hide behind corners to throw stones at me, they do this because they love you, because they are your brothers, not I.’

Yeshua felt the blood rise to his face. His brothers were mean spirited and ignorant. ‘If I could swap them for you, I would a thousand times over!’ he said.

‘That is why they throw stones,’ Jesus pointed out, with a simple clarity that cut at the roots of Yeshua’s anger.

There was a long thoughtful moment and something occurred to Yeshua. ‘Where is your knife…the one you carry for cutting rope? Come…give it to me.’

Jesus hesitated, ‘It is sharp, I am told never to take it from its sheath unless I have to.’

‘The sharper the better…come on...I’ll show you,’ he gestured full of impatience.

Jesus complied, but with caution. Yeshua took it and in a moment had made a cut in the palm of his right hand.

Jesus grew alarmed to see blood, but Yeshua ignored it, and said to him, ‘Do you remember how the rabbis taught us that the body of a man, his flesh is Tzelem, the image of God, and that his blood is Demut, the likeness of God. Do you remember? This blood is the likeness of God because in it flows the soul. Look at it! Don’t be afraid!’ He showed him his bloodied palm. ‘This is my soul you are looking at…now give me your hand.’

Jesus sat up and made a weak smile of hesitation.

‘Don’t you trust me?’

There was a nod.