We walk up the stairs of our dorm, and when I spot the door to my room all I feel is misery. I don’t want to go in there and be alone. That’s torture.
He turns, opening the door to his room, and doesn’t even look at me before stepping inside.
“Wait,” I say.
With his back toward me he stops. He turns his head, but not enough to look me in the eye.
“Let’s just go to bed. It’s late.”
What the hell?
“Don’t you want to …”
Suddenly, he turns around and stares at me. The look in his eyes is deadly, but I’m not sure if it’ll kill me or seduce me.
“I can’t.”
“Why not?” I say, frowning.
He sighs. “Let’s just leave it at that kiss.”
He wants to close the door, but I put a foot inside, preventing him from shutting me out.
“I want more,” I say softly.
His half-mast eyes flick to the floor and then back up to my face, sweeping over my body again like he did before. He bites his lip and clenches the door firmly, as if he has to hold himself back.
“You say that now, but you have no idea what you really want.”
“Don’t decide that for me. I know what I want.”
“We should stop this now, while we still can.” He turns around, leaving the door open, and slumps toward his bed.
“What?” I say, angry. Tears well up in my eyes again. He can’t be serious. This can’t be happening again. He can’t do that to me.
“I swear, if you just kissed me as a joke, I’ll―”
“It wasn’t. I kissed you because I couldn’t hold back anymore.”
“What?” I stammer as I step inside.
He drops down onto his bed, buries his head between his hands and sighs. It sounds more like a tormented grunt. Like he doesn’t know how to deal with this.
“I don’t get it. Why don’t you want to kiss me again if you liked it?”
“I did, but we can’t. I can’t give you what you need.”
I close the door behind me and walk forward, stopping in the middle of his room.
“You deserve a good guy. I’m not one of those. Nothing’s going to change that.”
“I don’t want a good guy. I want you.”
Lifting his head, he looks up at me with pure agony. I can see him trying so hard to repel me, and it’s so goddamn hard to watch.
“Don’t you see? I’m fucking bad for you. You don’t know what the fuck you’re getting yourself into.”
“I do. Don’t treat me like a helpless, pathetic kid. I can make my own decisions.”
He immediately stands up, his fingers folded into a fist, and comes up to me. Shivers run down my spine as I’m reminded of his closeness, instantly awaking the desires stirring inside me. Hot memories of his kisses flash through my mind, and all I can think of is doing it again.
“I don’t want to hurt you. I’m dangerous. Yet you stand here, wanting more,” he says, towering over me.
“And I completely accept the consequences,” I say.
“Are you fucking crazy? You have no idea what you’re saying. There’s a reason I ended it after a kiss. I won’t be able to stop myself if we go any further.”
“Then don’t stop yourself,” I say.
He chuckles, almost annoyed. “I’m Hunter. The guy who has sex like an animal. If you’re with me, I’ll fucking tear you to pieces.”
“I can take it.”
“You said you’ve never had a boyfriend. So you’re a virgin, right?” He lifts his hand and caresses my cheek lightly. His rough finger is tingly on my skin, and I shudder.
“Do you even know what I do to virgins?”
I gasp. “No, but I’m curious to find out.” I walk past him and sit down on his bed, reluctant to leave, even if he asks me to.
“Really? I think there’s a lot more to it than that. You’re still scared.” He turns around and gazes at me with this predatory look in his eyes that intimidates me.
“What do you mean?”
“You think you have to give yourself to me in order to keep me all to yourself.”
A flush spreads across my cheeks, and I start to feel lightheaded. At first I’m mad, but then the realization hits me that he might actually be right. Although I hate the way he says it, like he’s all that, and I’m just a pining girl.
“I just don’t want to … I want to …” I don’t even know how to say this.
“I don’t want anyone else. Anyone. Why do you keep thinking like this? You think I have sex with every girl out there?” he growls.
“Well I’ve never … and you’re always …”